Page 57 of Abducted

“What else is on your mind?”

Her eyes wandered up to his exposed arm. “Your tattoos.”

His eyes followed her gaze to his arm. He lowered it better so she could see. “These?”

“Yeah. What do they mean?” Her finger trailed the outline of the block lettering.

“It says ‘always vigilant,’ but the lettering is very unique. It’s difficult to read.”

The corner of her mouth tucked in. “‘Always vigilant’? Why do you have that?”

He rested his arm back under his head. “It’s a reminder for me to always be cautious and wary.” He picked up a lock of her wet hair and wrapped it around his finger. “But also to withhold judgment whenever possible. That’s a tough one to do.”

Her eyes sparked with mischief. “I’ll say. You judged me.”

He opened his mouth to protest, then shut it. “You’re right, I did. But mostly because I was stubborn and didn’t want to admit how badly I had it.”

She laughed. Her chin rested on her hands on his chest. Her eyes bore into his. “Do you still have it bad?”

“Hell, I have it worse now.”

Her lips lifted into a gentle smile. “Good.” Her eyes lowered to stare at his throat.

“Besides my scar and tattoos, there’s something else making your wheels turn. C’mon, out with it.”

Her eyes shifted, her lips rolled in. “You read me so well.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re an open book.”

She didn’t react to his comment. Her eyes stayed focused on his throat. “While my family was mourning my disappearance, I’ve been here, perfectly fine, having sex against walls and in showers.” Her eyes dragged up to his, fiery orbs that torched him. God help him, all he’d heard in that confession was the part about the sex. Images flashed though his mind—the memory of her tight, warm body around his cock filled his head. He throbbed with the need for release. He would resist if it killed him. No way would he suggest they finish when she was feeling like this.

“Technically, we didn’t have sex in the shower. But I’m not sure that makes you feel any better.”

She didn’t smile as he’d hoped. “I feel guilty,” she continued, “for so blatantly ignoring what they’ve be going through.”

“Lana, you’ve been through—”

“Shhh.” She pressed her finger to his lips. “Aside from that, I don’t regret it. I did all of that with you because I wanted to.” Her eyes dropped again, and her finger left his lips to absently stroke the bristles he still hadn’t had time to shave.

“I wanted to because it feels right with you, Cal. I don’t expect anything. I know we can’t be together, I get that—”

“Shhh.” He silenced her with his index finger, mimicking her gesture. He couldn’t take it anymore. The charade was up. He’d been fooling himself from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

“I’ve been lying to you, Lana. And to myself.” He stroked his finger over her cupid’s bow, then down to the bottom lip she kept abusing.

“What we have is different. It was wrong of me to tell you we could never have a relationship. Fuck, babe. I don’t want to bring you into the danger of my life”—he cupped her satiny cheek—“but I can’t imagine going back to what life was like without you.” His lungs burned with the words he needed to say. He couldn’t let her think she meant nothing to him and that he could just walk away after this. “We’ll figure this out.”

Her lips parted, and her breath sucked in through her lips. Tears glimmered in her lashes, and a shy smile revealed her even, white teeth. Relief let go like a dam breaking inside him. He cupped the back of her head and brought her lips to his. Her mouth moved over his, her tongue caressing his, mixing with her wetness.

“I can live with that.” She laughed.

He hadn’t planned on this. A relationship, he had thought, would never be in the cards for him. But he would make it work with Lana, or die trying.

That was the difference between her and every other relationship. He had the desire—no, the need—to make it work with her, whatever the cost. The further Lana moved into his heart, the further the devotion to his career moved out. It was time to settle down, to bring some joy into his life…to let someone—her—in. Images of the holidays flashed through his mind. No more lonely days spent drinking or going off on missions while others were at home, gathered with their families. He could have all that now.

He smoothed his thumb over her cheek. She dipped her head and turned her face into his hand, taking his index finger into her mouth.

Every muscle in his body tensed.