Page 35 of Escape to the Country

‘Well, my lovely mum always used to say that if you weren’t sure of what to do, then you should do nothing and eventually the answer would come to you. When it feels right. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. She always said that anything you have to wait for is worth waiting for, if it’s meant to be.’

‘My mum said exactly the same thing. Sounds like your mum was a very wise lady, Grace. I’m sorry she’s not around any more.’

‘Oh, she’s always around me, Maddy. In the whispering trees, in the fragrance that comes from nowhere, in the smile of my boy Archie, the twinkle of my daughter Meredith’s eyes. I know she’s always around me and that’s such a comfort.’

‘Well, I think that’s just beautiful, Grace. What a lovely way to remember her. And what you said before about doing nothing until you have the answer that feels right is exactly what I needed to hear right now. You sound like you have experience in making decisions like this.’

‘Oh, I do, indeed. I had to choose between going back to my cheating ex-husband, which would have rebuilt our family and made my son happy, or making a new life with someone I didn’t know very well. As I mentioned earlier, I’m married to my second husband now, and we have a daughter, so you know how that worked out – although it was a really hard decision. I am of the opinion, though, that leopards don’t change their spots. But that’s just me. Who knows what your future holds? All I know is that everyone deserves to be happy in what they do and who they are with. I’m not sure if that’s helped or not.’ She laughed.

‘It’s certainly given me more to think about. Thank you, Grace. I’m going to leave you in peace now to chat to your mum. Thank you for your help.’

‘See, I told you; there’s always a reason that people meet. I wish you well in making your decision, Maddy. If you are ever over in Little Ollington, perhaps we’ll bump into each other.’

‘Little Ollington! That’s the second time recently I’ve heard someone mention that village. A friend of mine who is helping me with my allotment mentioned a friend of his who lives there who studied horticulture and said he might be able to help too.’

‘Little Ollington is only small. And I just happen to be married to a landscape gardener who studied horticulture.’

‘He wouldn’t be called Vinnie by any chance, would he?’

She laughed. ‘He would, indeed!’

‘Wow, isn’t it a small world? What a coincidence.’

‘You could say that. To be honest, I’m a big believer that there’s no such thing as a coincidence in life. I told you, everything happens for a reason.’ She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a business card with her husband’s business details on it and handed it to me. ‘Give him a call. If you tell him that you met me here, I’m sure he’ll come over and do a free consultation for you. If he does, perhaps I can pop over with him too and you can update me on your situation.’

‘That would be so fab, Grace. I have a feeling you and I would never stop talking! I’ll give him a call and sort something out. Thank you so much. Now I really am going. Enjoy your chat with your mum.’

Grace smiled at me kindly, and Baxter and I made our way back into the forest.

As I walked back along the forest path, I realised that since I’d left work, I’d made more new friends than I had for years. I used to call the people I worked with my friends, but were they really? Drinks in the pub after work, and me being the one who was always relied on to do a birthday whip round, but where were they when I was desperately low after I’d been made redundant? I didn’t even get a measly card, and not one of them had picked up the phone to see how I was. The people I’d met since I’d left had been way more genuine; Rebecca and now Grace. Caring people that I could see myself being friends with, in time. How lovely.

Baxter was properly frolicking in the long grass, alternating between jumping over the heather, which was starting to flower, and stooping low to stalk a bird. I stopped to take lots more photos. I had decided that I was going to put a book together to send over to Alice in Australia as a surprise, and to keep Baxter in her thoughts so that she could rest assured, knowing that he was having such fun.

Suddenly I realised something really important. I could feel myself grinning and my heart felt full. Which meant that I was happy. What I was doing now was so simple but it was absolutely filling my heart with joy. I’d put thoughts of Jamie to one side for now. Like Grace’s mum said, I now felt sure that it would sort itself and worrying about it constantly wasn’t helping my state of mind at all.

When Beth was in hospital and she had asked me what made me happy, at that time, I’d had no idea. But now I felt like I was really coming into my own.

Once more, it made me realise that it was the simple things in life that made me happy, like being surrounded by stunning countryside views, enjoying the warm sun on my face and watching squirrels chasing each other, scampering up and down the tree trunks, Baxter barking his head off at them in the hope that he might catch one, not realising that they were way too fast for him. It was watching him having fun, and seeing the other people in my life enjoying themselves that brought me joy. Working at doggy daycare was wonderful. And I was loving spending small pockets of time here and there on the allotment too. I was enjoying my life.

Chatting with Grace today had really helped me to find some clarity in my life. It was time to stop stressing and let life take its course. There was no need to rush, to find another job in the corporate world for a while until I was really sure that was what I wanted to do. My redundancy money would see me through for a bit and the doggy daycare wages helped too.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace.

* * *

After tramping around the countryside for a good hour and a half, we headed home to the barn. The fresh air must have worn us out as Baxter curled up beside me on the sofa and we both had a little snooze.

When I woke, I decided that I couldn’t sit lazing around for the rest of the day, so I grabbed my shopping list from the noticeboard on the side of the fridge and decided to take off to the retail park. There were some bits and pieces I needed to get and I wanted some new pictures to go on the walls. The wall art I had brought from the flat wasn’t right for here and I was looking forward to making it even more homely. I left some treats for Baxter and patted him on the head, telling him I wouldn’t be too long. He curled up in his basket and looked sad, which made me feel really guilty. He had a real gift for making me feel bad when I went out without him. Those big brown eyes were so sad at times.

Wandering around the aisles of the big hardware store, looking for something to hang pictures with, I banged into a shopping trolley. A smile greeted me and I grinned back as I realised my trolley sparring partner was my mother’s new acquaintance.

‘Hi, Edward, nice to see you. How are you?’

‘Hello, my dear. I’m great thanks, how about you? How’s your day been?’

‘Well, it’s been OK, so far. I was at work this morning, then we went for a big walk in the forest, then had a little snooze and I thought I’d better make an effort to get some stuff for my new home.’

‘Ah, that’s good to hear. Have you managed to get what you wanted?’

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