Page 25 of Escape to the Country

‘Hello, gorgeous, how are you feeling today? I’ve brought lunch and a pot of tea.’

‘Bloody tea! Drinking tea is all I seem to do these days. I don’t feel very hungry either but I suppose that’s because I’m in bed all day and not doing anything.’

‘Oh, you’re a bit bad tempered today. Has someone upset you?’

‘No, I just wish I could do something from here. I feel so useless sat here with you guys all doing the work. I can see you all rushing round the yard from my bedroom window and I feel really miserable. I’m bored to bloody tears!’

‘Make the most of it, lady, because when your new physio starts working on you, you’ll be back to work in no time, I bet.’

She smiled but looked so fed-up and weary. A spark of an idea began to form in my mind. ‘Do you have a laptop, Beth?’

‘Yes, it’s over there on the dressing table. Why, what are you up to?’

‘Well, I know you’re poorly, but maybe throughout the day when you’re feeling up to it, you could set up a Facebook page for Growlers. I know you said it was something you wanted to do but hadn’t had the time. This is something you can do as and when you feel up to it. There are no deadlines at all. We can send you pictures throughout the day, and the people who have dogs boarding here or in daycare can check the Facebook page to see what their pets have been up to while they’re away. How cool would it be for Alice, for example, over in Australia, to be able to see what her lovely little pal Baxter is up to and how much he’s enjoying himself?’

Her face lit up. ‘What a great idea. You’re a genius!’

‘Not a genius, darling, just utilising my amazing PR and social media skills as no one else seems to want them, and also I want to stop having to look at that mardy face every time I bring your lunch up!’ I winked at her and she threw a cushion at me.

‘Just because you’re in bed doesn’t mean you can sit on your arse and read books all day, you know. You’ve still got two hands so you can type, can’t you?’

She grinned at me. I loved that we had fallen back into this easy, teasing relationship that we’d always had which had been missing over the last few years. I didn’t realise how much I had missed Beth. ‘I jest, babe, but maybe you could do short little bursts when you are feeling up to it.’

‘I love it, Maddy. And it’ll feel like I’m still contributing. I feel so guilty that you’re all running around because of me. Hopefully it won’t be for too long. But this is such a good idea.’ She took my hand in hers and squeezed it. ‘Thank you. Not just for this but for being my proper friend again. I love having you around. And I feel like I’ve got the old Maddy back. You changed, you know, when you were working at the old place. You were still lovely, but stiff and no fun. And you never seemed to have any time for any of us. When Mum died, it took me a while before I could cope better with the grief, but it taught me that life is short and you have to make the most of it while you’re here. And enjoy it! Find something you love to do and do it. We just need to find you your thing!’

‘I thought I knew what my thing was, but now I’m not so sure. I feel like in time, it’ll come to me. Until then, I’ll keep looking out for another corporate role to get back into and help out here for as long as you need me. And on that note, I’d better go back and take over so Uncle Tom can have lunch too.’

* * *

Being on my own for a while over lunchtime got my mind working overtime. What would I do if I could do anything in the world? What floated my boat these days? What did I feel passionate about? It was really quite upsetting to realise that I had no idea of the answers to these questions, but I really wanted to find out. Out came a notebook and each of these questions were written on the top of a new page. I’d keep them in my mind and surely the answers would come to me.

Uncle Tom interrupted my thoughts when he returned from lunch and asked me when I’d like to move into the barn. I said that I’d put in my notice on the flat straight away, but I could move in as soon as possible, so we agreed that there was no time like the present and that Friday would be a great day, so I could have the weekend to get settled. We only had a few dogs over the weekend so it wouldn’t be too busy.

Living just over the yard would make life so much easier for us all as I could pop in and see Beth and sort the dogs out at any time without a twenty-minute drive over. Uncle Tom said I may as well have the keys straight away in case I wanted to do any measuring up, so I wandered over when I had a break to remind myself of what it was like. It had been a while since I’d been there.

Light flooded into the open plan lounge-dining area from the dual aspect double doors and there was a back door at one end of the modern kitchen and round a corner, a cupboard and a downstairs loo. It was very simply furnished, but classy too, with two chocolate-brown leather settees either side of a coffee table, with a bookcase in one corner and a Mexican pine dresser on the back wall next to a matching dining room table with matching leather chairs. The cream stone-tiled floors made it look really clean and fresh and easy to look after. A wooden staircase led to the first floor where I had to duck under a beam to go along the landing to the beautiful main bedroom with a half-moon window, which overlooked the fields. It was an incredible view – you could see for miles. There was also an interlinking bathroom which led through to another smaller bedroom. I remembered coming in here when it was first refurbished. Beth showed me round and I totally adored it. I could hardly believe that I was going to live here. I did a little jump up and down on the spot with excitement and then stopped in case anyone could see me through the window.

The simplicity of the décor didn’t detract from it being full of character and I couldn’t wait to get my own things in here. I wouldn’t be bringing much. The flat was fully furnished and so was the barn, so I didn’t have anything major to bring, just my belongings really. And Mum had said that I could have the piano too if I wanted it. She rarely played it these days and said how lovely it would be if I got use out of it. It was strange that I’d lived in that flat for seven years yet already the barn felt more like home.

Mid afternoon, I took a break and walked into the village. I thought I’d pop in and see if Rebecca was around at all, as I knew she alternated between the village and Stafford Library, to see if she needed me to get involved in any more projects for her. Having an afternoon break every day left me with time on my hands and I wanted to make sure I was using it effectively and trying to help someone. Rebecca was just about to finish her shift for the day, so she invited me to go and have a cuppa with her in the Copper Kettle café in the village before she picked her younger children up from school. She was really easy to sit and chat to and I asked her how she came to be working in the library, and I wasn’t expecting the answer that I got.

‘Well, I know you are a friend of Beth’s and if she trusts you, then so do I,’ she said, looking over her shoulder fleetingly to make sure no one else was listening. ‘I was given the job at the library after I left my husband. I was a victim of domestic violence, you see, Madison, and I needed to change my life.’

I could never have pre-empted that. I was surprised she didn’t tell me to shut my mouth because I was doing a really good impression of a goldfish. Rebecca seemed really put together; it just wasn’t what I had been expecting. I supposed it just went to show that you really didn’t know what people went through in their lives.

‘My husband was abusive, both mentally and physically. I protected my children from it and let him hit me instead of hitting them. He was a man who everyone thought was bloody wonderful when they first met him. He charmed the pants off everyone, but the minute the door was shut he was moody and he drank. He had severe depression, we discovered years later, but it doesn’t condone what he did to me. One night he hit me once too often, and I’d just had enough. He was making us all desperately unhappy and it was no life to bring children up in.’ Rebecca took a deep breath. ‘You are very easy to talk to, Maddy. I feel like I’m burdening you here.’

I smiled at her. ‘It sounds like you need to talk about it. It’s not always good to bottle things up.’

‘Thank you, Maddy. I’ve not told many people our background and it’s actually quite cathartic to say it out loud.’ She breathed deeply before she continued.

‘His behaviour was getting worse with each episode. I should have got out years ago, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t mentally ready. I had amazing help from my local Women’s Aid support unit, and they put me in touch with Beth up here. I lived over a hundred miles away. She helped to set up a new home for the children and me without him knowing, and then one night I laced his hot chocolate with sleeping tablets so he didn’t wake for a while and I grabbed the children from their beds, and we just scarpered. Poor lambs; they didn’t have a clue what was happening. They put coats on over the top of their pyjamas, and we left with literally nothing but what we were wearing.

‘Thanks to Beth, we were able to start a new life. There was a local charity who gave us support and clothes and furniture, and when I was ready, I started working at the library, just around school hours so I can take the children to school and pick them up, and I help out where I can at the local women’s refuge, helping women just like me. It’s really important to me that I help others realise that they don’t have to live that way and that there are options. Without the help I had, I’d still be there. It’s also really important to me that I’m around for those school times for the younger ones, and then we go and shut ourselves away in our house where we feel safe and secure.

‘I suppose I want to make it up to them. Make them realise how much I love them and how sorry I am that they had to go through everything that they did. And it’s so wonderful to see them enjoying life now that the look of fear has left them. So that’s my story, basically, Madison. So what’s yours?’

To be honest, I was speechless. I really hadn’t realised before just what victims of domestic violence went through, yet here I was, feeling sorry for myself because I had been made redundant and couldn’t afford the latest Michael Kors handbag. Learning more about Beth’s life was really opening up my eyes to what other people were going through.

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