Page 50 of Escape to the Country

‘Oh yes. Baxter.’

He handed me a glass which was full even though I’d asked for a small one. ‘I’m so happy, darling, I really am.’

I realised that if we were to end up living together again at some point, we’d have to have a conversation about Baxter pretty soon. We came as a package these days and I wasn’t sure how Jamie would feel about that, but now didn’t feel like the right time to bring it up.

As I sipped the champagne (I think I actually preferred G&Ts these days, even though we used to drink champagne all the time) I wondered whether Jamie was as happy at the fact that we were going to try again with our relationship as he seemed to be about me being back in his business, but then I batted away that thought as we started to make plans about our future together.

20

After a few weeks of physio for Beth saw her returning to work, and as the seasons changed, it was soon well into autumn, and after plenty of days of me walking Baxter in the forest and watching the trees shed their leaves, it was time for me to start my new job.

Alex very kindly offered to take me to pick up my new company car so I didn’t have to use public transport to get to my new office. It was only ten minutes in the car and as always when I was in close proximity to him, my heart rate increased and I got a little tongue-tied.

We chit-chatted about life and I tried to inject some enthusiasm into taking over in my new job, but to be totally honest, I was struggling.

Stopping at a service station along the way, Alex filled the car up with fuel and as he went in to pay, I watched him walk away from me. I felt like he’d spent my whole life walking away from me.

As he got back into the car and switched the ignition on, his car system told him that he’d missed a call and that his voicemail was calling him. Sophie’s voice rang out from every speaker in the car.

‘Hi, Alex it’s me. I hope you have found Madison and told her how you really feel.’

Alex looked absolutely mortified and desperately started pressing every button he could to stop the call, but it wouldn’t stop playing.

‘I can see it in your eyes every time her name is mentioned. I can see it more than ever when you are in the same room. You can’t take your eyes off her. I know that you’ve tried to fight it and to just be friends, and I know that in your own way you’ve tried to make our relationship work, but if there are three people when there should only be two, it can never work.’

Alex was frantically swatting at every button to turn it off but still her voice went on.

‘Thank you for letting me go to make a new life for myself. I will always love you, Alex, but it was never quite enough and your heart never fully belonged to me. Go get your girl, my love. Life is too short to have regrets. Be happy and take care.’

I could not believe what I had just heard. That wasn’t right! Alex had never been interested in me in that way – he’d proved that by going off to America to be with Sophie. I looked up at him and he was staring ahead in horror. His face was bright red and he was sweating.

‘God it’s hot in here,’ he said and put all the windows down. ‘We’d better get you to your new job.’

‘But Alex?—’

‘Just leave it, Mad. Please.’

We spent the rest of the journey in total silence, Alex continuously taking one hand off the steering wheel, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. I kept sneaking glances at him, willing him to look across at me, but he just stared ahead. A few times, I went to speak but thought better of it.

My head was in a total spin when I got to the office. When I got out of the car, Alex said he’d hang around for a bit until he knew everything was sorted out and to make sure that everything was OK with the company car before he drove off.

When I arrived, Jamie was waiting for me in reception and led me up a flight of stairs and through into a main boardroom which was full of around fifteen people. There was a bottle of champagne on the table and I walked in to a round of applause. Jamie tapped the side of his glass with a spoon.

‘Can I have your attention please, ladies and gents. I’d like to officially welcome Madison Young into our company today. I can’t tell you how delighted I was when she agreed to be on the board of directors here with me. And I can’t tell you now how delighted I am to ask Maddy to make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be not just my business partner, but also my wife.’

Shock and horror were my very first emotions as he made his announcement. Embarrassment came next as he went down on one knee and produced a black velvet box from his jacket pocket and opened it. There was the most exquisite diamond ring I had ever seen. I looked around the room and all these faces were staring back at me in anticipation. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t get my breath. A whoosh of air hit me and my head started to spin. That was when I passed out.

I came round to hushed whispers and found I was sitting on a seat next to an open window with people fussing around me. I asked someone to get my handbag and I rummaged around inside for some tissues. My hand touched something plastic and I smiled as I took a poo bag from my handbag. Oh how my life had changed over the last three months. Where I was once happy in Louboutins, I was now so much happier in wellies. Where I was once so taken with Mulberry handbags, I was now happier to see poo bags. And even though I was back in the world of work of PR where I once felt I belonged, I still felt like there was something missing.

I turned to the window and took some big gasping breaths and that was when I saw him.

Alex was still standing, leaning with his back against his car, smouldering and tapping away on his phone. He’d been a big brother figure all my life and I’d always looked up to him. But that message from Sophie blew my mind. What if he really did love me? What if she had spoken the truth?

Jamie coughed and broke the spell. ‘How are you feeling, darling? I’m sorry I shocked you. I think we’re all still waiting for your answer though.’

A pressure was crushing against my chest and I turned to the window once more. Alex looked up. We locked eyes. For a moment, time stopped. I grinned at him. He grinned back.

My tummy did that very jittery thing that it did every time he looked at me in that way. It was like a rocket had just launched in my heart. And I realised exactly what was missing from my life: him.

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