Page 41 of Escape to the Country

‘Because, Mother, you and I are going on a cruise.’ I laughed as I heard Mum gasp.

‘Whatever do you mean, Madison? A cruise? Goodness me! I haven’t been on holiday for years. Ooh, hold on, dear, I think I need to sit down. I feel all discombobulated.’

I explained Beth’s plans and could hear the excitement in Mum’s voice. ‘Well I never. What do I need to take? Whatever do you wear on a cruise? Do I need some new clothes? Oh Lordy, imagine me on a cruise. What will my friends say! They’ll think I’m getting above my station. Oh bugger, where’s my passport?’

‘Ah well, that answers one of my questions. I didn’t know whether you had one.’

‘I do. I’ve never used it but I had one just in case I met a millionaire sugar daddy and he whisked me off somewhere exotic on his private jet.’ She giggled. ‘Can you imagine? “Oh, darling, I’d love to come to the Maldives for a passionate week away on a desert island, but I don’t have a passport.” Doesn’t sound very spontaneous, does it, if I’d have to ask him for a lift to the passport office in Liverpool first and queue all day to get one sorted out?’

I marvelled at her optimism.

‘Well, there’s nothing like wishful thinking. I like your style. Shall I come over later, Mum, and we can have a cuppa and a chat about what we need to do?’

‘Yes please, darling, how exciting. I can’t believe it! Come for dinner, I’ll cook us something nice. Goodness me, I need a lie down. I’m all of a dither. Whatever do I need to pack? Where’s my suitcase? What shoes should I take? Are my clothes glamorous enough for a cruise? Goodness me, what will my book club girls say when I tell them? They’ll think I’ve won the lottery and gone all posh on them. How funny! But what will I pack? Oh, Maddy, what will I do?’

At what stage of life, I wondered, did the tables turn? When did the parent become the child and vice versa? It seemed to happen seamlessly – no apparent signs but one day, it just flipped. Now Mum was the nervous one asking questions and I was the one who had all the answers.

I arrived just before lunch and she’d made my favourite dinner of minced beef suet crust pie and mash. A list of questions had been left on the kitchen table for me that she’d been working on since we’d spoken, and we started to work our way through them and get her the answers that she needed.

Her excitement was contagious.

In the last few years, Mum had driven me mad – always calling when I was just about to go into a meeting, or when I was with someone really important at work. I was always too busy to talk and found her calls a burden. But now it was as though she was a completely different person to me. She was still my mum, who I knew and loved, but also I was really enjoying spending time with her and discovering things about her that I either hadn’t known or had forgotten. I’d spent more time with her over the last few weeks than I had for years.

And the nice thing was that I felt that she needed me in her life. However, she was now looking at me nervously and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she’d already asked her friend’s daughter to go to the shops with her tomorrow.

‘I could take you shopping for some new stuff, Mum, if you’d like me to.’

‘Oh no, Maddy, don’t worry, dear. You’ll be far too busy to bother yourself with me. Julie said she’s really happy to come with me; she often helps me out when I need a younger person’s advice about something or a helping hand.’

‘But Mum, why didn’t you ask me? Am I really that awful that you couldn’t ask me something like that?’

‘Well… erm… I… Well, yes, actually if truth be told. I may as well say it. You always made me feel like you were too busy to even speak to me, like I was an inconvenience. So I’d never even think to ask for your time in coming shopping with me.’

Sitting down on the arm of the settee, I couldn’t believe that this horrible person that she was talking about was me. ‘God, Mum, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise.’

‘You were just so busy all the time, darling, I didn’t feel like I could bother you.’

Sometimes, we hurt others more than we realise. Sometimes we don’t notice a smile that fades in front of our eyes or realise that we are the reason for the sadness in someone’s heart or the tears in their eyes. I was so glad that I was getting the chance to put things right with Mum. I knew that Beth had real regrets over not telling her mum things, and when she was so quickly and cruelly snatched away, she never had the chance. I had the chance and was going to make damn sure to make the most of it.

‘Ring Julie, Mum, and tell her it’s OK but I’m taking you.’ The smile on Mum’s face said everything.

‘Will you stay tonight, Maddy? You could help me get my suitcase down from the loft.’ Mum’s face lit up again when I said, ‘I’d love to.’

* * *

Feeling totally stuffed after Mum’s fabulous suet crust meat pie, mash and veg, we fired up Mum’s old laptop and over a glass of wine, got on the internet and looked at dress codes for cruises and videos of what went on, on a cruise. By the end of the evening, we had two lists. One list was for things that Mum already had that she could take, and the other was for things that she needed to get. I went to bed with a smile on my face, knowing that we’d got plans to go shopping the next day to get all the stuff we needed. Maybe I might even splash some of my redundancy money and treat myself, I thought. I wasn’t sure my designer power suits would see me being cruise-ready. It would do me good to get away and not have to think about the future for a few days. I had some big decisions to make. I hadn’t got back to Geoff yet, and I needed to make a decision about Jamie too. Perhaps some time away from home would help me to see things a little more clearly and find some resolution.

* * *

We burst through the front door and flung our bags on the hall floor; the handles had left sore red marks on our palms. We’d got quite a stash.

‘Oooh, I’m gagging for a cuppa and bursting for the loo! Not sure what to do first. Put the kettle on, Madison, and we can have a look through all those bags at what we’ve got then, shall we?’ Mum was glowing with happiness. We’d hadsucha nice day out. Grabbing the train from the local station was the best way of heading into Birmingham and we’d been spoilt for choice with the new Grand Central shopping centre and the Bull Ring when we got there.

The last time I’d been shopping with Mum was when she’d had to get an outfit for Jen’s funeral, so that hadn’t been the most joyous of shopping trips. But today really had been such fun. Mum had laughed as she turned this way and that, checking herself out in the mirror while working her way through a massive pile of clothes that she’d somehow persuaded the shop assistant to take in with her even though you were only meant to have four at a time. It was more like a personal shopping event. And she’d even splashed out on new make-up when someone in a department store offered to give her a free make-over, and she’d loved her glamorous new look.

And for the first time in years, I’d bought some summery maxi dresses that I could wear with either a denim jacket if it was a bit nippy in the evenings, a little cardy or even a stole or wrap. Today had been lots of fun. It gave me immense pleasure to see Mum enjoying herself. We needed to do this more often. Perhaps this was what Beth was thinking of when she said I needed to have more fun. I was beginning to think that perhaps she knew exactly what she was talking about after all. I really did need to lighten up and get out more.

The next couple of days flew by, with endless phone calls between Mum and me, chatting about our forthcoming trip, and our day of travel soon came round. The ship was sailing from Venice, so we were booked on a plane out of Birmingham and Uncle Tom was going to take us to the airport. Thank goodness he was going to use Beth’s car and not his stinky old four-wheel drive.

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