Page 38 of Escape to the Country

He waved his arms around at my surroundings and smirked. ‘You wouldn’t have to live in this dingy place on a smelly farm. We could get another swanky apartment in town together and we could have all of those amazing holidays that we used to have too. Please, Maddy, just think about it. Promise me that much.’

Totally stunned by his offer in many ways, I really didn’t know what to say. He was criticising me, yet giving me a backhanded compliment at the same time. He’d also still not mentioned the miscarriage. It was almost like he’d completely forgotten it had ever happened, but it was something that would stay with me forever. I really wasn’t sure what to think, and more than that, what to do. Jamie stood and walked around the table. Standing over me, he reached out to put his finger on my lips.

‘I know! Exciting, isn’t it!’ He obviously took my silence for excitement. ‘Don’t say a word, just think about it. You know I’m right and all you have to do is say the word and we can get you out of this dreadful place and this dead-end job and back where you belong, in a life of luxury.’ He kissed the top of my head and left as quickly as he had arrived, not even touching the drink I’d made him. He sneered at Baxter, who uncharacteristically growled at him, and then snapped at his ankles as he walked past him. Jamie kicked out at him, missing him by mere inches, and Baxter whimpered and ran off to his basket. ‘That’s how you teach dogs who the boss is.’ He grinned as he walked towards his car, got in and then drove off without a backward glance. I couldn’t believe that hour had just happened.

I was stunned by his offer. I hadn’t seen it coming and my thoughts were all over the place. I didn’t know what would happen between Jamie and me on a personal basis yet, let alone if we worked together. It could be inviting trouble. I supposed there was no harm in thinking about it, like he said. And we did have a lovely life together… and lovely holidays. Seeing him after all this time had confused me even more. I didn’t know how I felt about him; did I really want to go back to that life?

Could I ever forgive him? Could I ever forget what he’d done and how he had just seemed to cast aside one of the most important things in my life? And it wasn’t until now that I realised that he was really rather critical of me and seemed to want to turn me into someone that I’m not.

There was also the fact that I was really loving my life these days, even though I was on my own. I adored working at Growlers, so much more than I had ever thought I would. I was really enjoying looking after Baxter and having a dog in my home, and Rebecca and I had made arrangements to cover Beth’s shifts for the next few weeks and then to get some of my own when she was back, because she knew how much I’d enjoyed that whole sense of community spirit.

When I’d explained that I was also looking after Baxter, she said that I might be able to take him along to some of the visits I did because animals, particularly dogs, were excellent therapy for the elderly and for less able-bodied people that they had signed up to their projects. There were also families that had been rehomed and troubled children using the programmes. Rebecca said that sometimes children reacted better to animals than they did to adults and might open up more if they were comforting a dog. Apparently studies had shown that stroking a dog was good for lowering blood pressure, lowering stress levels and helping your body to release a relaxation hormone.

She thought it would be a great idea to trial doggy visits and we arranged for her to pop over and meet Baxter. I was really excited by this thought and couldn’t wait to start experimenting with my little fur buddy. Even though I was really excited about all of this, I would really need to think hard about Jamie’s proposition and my future.

* * *

Thinking about nothing else but Jamie’s proposition, I was unable to sleep properly for the next three days and had a constant headache. Without Alex around, I was doing full time at Growlers, and with Uncle Tom so busy on the farm, we were rushed off our feet. I hadn’t even seen Beth for two days. If truth be told, I was a bit scared that she’d see straight through me and know that there was something on my mind. Jamie was taking me out again tomorrow night and I knew he’d want to talk about his offer.

It was typical; just as I was starting to get my life together again after the awful redundancy shock and things had started to settle down, Jamie was back in my life, turning everything upside down again. I needed to talk things through with someone, but that person couldn’t be Beth because I knew that in the past she had such fixed ideas about Jamie; I didn’t feel that she was the right person to go to now. I needed to pop to the village store for a few bits and pieces so I’d do that and then pop in to surprise Mum on the way back and see whether she could offer me some good old impartial Mum advice. She didn’t dislike Jamie when we were together, but she did once tell me that she thought he had taken me away from spending time with her, because he wanted me all to himself.

A silver Mercedes C-Class was parked on her drive, and as I walked through the front door and down the hallway, I could hear laughter coming from the kitchen.

‘Hellooooo!’ I called ahead loudly to make sure they knew I was there. If it was who I had a feeling it might be, I’d hate to walk in on anything untoward.

Poking my head gingerly round the kitchen door, I was delighted to see my mother fully clothed sitting with Edward at the kitchen table, also dressed, with his hands cradling a mug.

‘Hello, dear, what a surprise to see you. Are you OK?’

Mum did actually look a little flushed, but I presumed that was down to the fact that I’d caught her with her man friend again.

‘What are you doing here, darling? Anything in particular, or just a pop in?’

‘Well, I had a couple of things that I wanted to chat to you about, but I can come back another time. It’s not urgent. I’ll head off and ring you later.’

‘Oh, I’ll go, shall I? Leave you ladies to talk.’

‘No, Edward, you were here before me, I’m sorry to interrupt.’

‘Not interrupting anything, my dear, come and sit. Your mother talks about you constantly and I’d love to get to know you a little better.’ He patted the seat beside him. I looked over at Mum and she was rubbing her neck, a habit of hers that she had when she was feeling nervous. I did exactly the same too and we’d always had the nature/nurture debate about it and whether it was because I’d seen her do it so many times, so had naturally learned to do it too, or whether it was part of my genes.

‘I’ll put the kettle on again then, shall I?’ she questioned.

‘If you’re sure – it’s not a problem to come back.’

‘No, you’re here now, so you may as well stay. Is everything OK?’

A single tear rolled down my cheek.

Mum was at my side immediately, her arm around my shoulders. ‘Darling, what on earth is it?’

‘Jamie’s back, Mum.’

‘Oh dear!’ She looked across at Edward and pulled a face, and he excused himself to go to the toilet. I’m sure he was just giving us a little bit of time.

‘And what has he said to you to get you in this state?’

‘He says he loves me and he’s missed me and that he’s sorry and that he wants me back. And I don’t know what to do.’

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