Page 32 of Escape to the Country

Early on Tuesday morning, I could hear Skype ringing on my iPad. I clicked on the icon and Alice’s face came into view. She didn’t look happy.

‘Is everything OK, Alice? You look sad. How’s Australia?’

‘Oh, Madison.’ She burst into tears. ‘I have a huge decision to make. Emily and I have had a wonderful time and she’s asked me to come and live with her.’

‘Wow! What an offer! And how do you feel about it?’

‘I love it here, Madison. I’ve never felt more comfortable. Here, I’m Alice, Emily’s sister. I’m not Alice who lost her husband and who everyone feels sorry for. And it feels so very different. I know Des would be encouraging me to stay and have an adventure. But what about my Baxter? I don’t think it would be fair to put him through the trauma of having him flown out here. He’d be so scared and alone, I couldn’t bear to think of him that way. Yet it breaks my heart to think that I’d have to put him up for adoption just for me to have my dream. I love my Baxter so much and I really don’t know what to do. I knew that you’d be a good person to talk all this through with. Emily has never had a dog so she doesn’t understand why this isn’t an easy decision to make. She keeps saying that Baxter is “just a dog!” but he’s not. He’s been my friend and my listening ear. He’s sat by me while my heart has been breaking and he’s helped me to heal. I know he’s only a dog to some people, but he’s the one who came and licked my tears away when he could see I was so desperately sad. He’s the one who sat close to me, giving me comfort when I needed it most. What do I do, Madison? What do I do?

‘And I wanted to ask you whether you might help me to do this if, and it’s a big if, I did decide to do it. There are things that need doing in the house. It’ll need clearing and boxing up. And I wondered whether this is something that you could help me with at all. That way, I wouldn’t have to come back at all. I think it would be worse if I saw Baxter. It would make me feel so guilty and sad. One minute I’ve made up my mind, and the next I’m all of a dither again.’

‘Of course I’ll help if you need me to. It would be my pleasure.’

The pitter-patter of paws could be heard crossing the office floor and two feet followed by another two and a fluffy backside plonked itself onto my lap. As if he had heard his name, Baxter moved towards the screen and sniffed it. I tickled him behind his ears and he gave a little contented doggy groan.

‘Oh my Baxter, my darling beautiful boy. How could I consider doing this?’ Alice was now openly sobbing. Baxter turned round and licked my face and snuggled into my shoulder. God I’d miss this little dude if I had to rehome him. I really would. We’d formed a lovely bond since he’d been staying with me.

An idea was beginning to form in my mind.

‘Alice, you could take this one step at a time, you know.’

She looked at me, puzzled.

‘You could commit to a short period of time, maybe three months or so, and then if it was something you felt you’d made the wrong call on, you could still hop on a plane and come back. You could even rent your house out, instead of selling up; that way you’d always have somewhere to come home to, and it might feel less dramatic than committing to it for ever.’

‘That seems like a good option, I hadn’t even thought of that. In my emotional state all I could really think about was either doing it or not.’

‘Alice, what sort of home do you want for Baxter?’ I asked her as I stroked his head.

‘I just want him to be with someone who has time for him and loves him and will look after him. If I took your suggestion and only went for three months at first, perhaps I could get someone to foster him for me, so I would still have options in the future.’

‘And what if I knew someone who I think would be perfect to foster him? Would you trust my judgement?’

‘I would, Madison. I know we’ve not known each other long, but you know that I believe that people come into your life for a reason. I was there for you when you had your bad redundancy news and needed a friend, and you were able to help me to find a kennel for my boy and now I think you might be the person to help me again. I’ll repay you, my love, I’m so grateful for anything you can do to help. Having no kids means I have no one really to ask. It’s one of the main considerations for coming to live here. I have my sister here. At home, I don’t really have anyone. So do you think you might have someone in mind that might be good for Baxter?’

‘I do! You’re looking at her.’

‘No! You are kidding me. Really? Do you really mean that? You’d have Baxter for me?’

‘I do mean it. If I was to tell you that I have fallen head over heels in love with this furry little fella, would you believe me? He’s my little shadow. I turn around and he’s there all the time. I absolute adore him, Alice. I was getting worried at the thought of you coming back and taking him home, to be honest. I knew how upset I’d be not having him around.’

‘Oh, Maddy, you are my guardian angel! You really are. It breaks my heart to leave him behind, but it wouldn’t be fair to ship him out here on his own. He would hate that, yet this is an offer too good to be true. The weather is fabulous and my gnarly old hands and my achy old joints feel better just for being in the warmth. And I’ve so enjoyed spending time with my sister – it’s made us realise that we don’t want to be apart any longer. She’s got a job here and a life, and I have Baxter and my memories. And I can bring my memories with me. And if you were to have Baxter, it would be absolutely wonderful.’

‘Honestly, Alice, it would be my absolute pleasure. He’s no trouble at all. He’s been such great company for me. Saves me talking to myself. He’s adorable. I’ve always wanted a dog, but it’s never been the right time for me to have one, and I’d always been worried about what would be the right dog for me. I’ve never wanted a puppy, I don’t think I could cope with that, but the time is right now. And I couldn’t be better placed. I’m working at a kennels and I live on a farm. It’s perfect.’

‘Oh, Madison, you’ve taken such a weight off my shoulders, you really have. I was dreading the thought of him going to a family that I didn’t know and never knowing if he was happy, but this way I could still find out how he is.’

‘Of course you can. You can Skype him any time you like. And I promise you that I already do and will continue to love him and will take good care of him. The situation is perfect for us both. And we can talk more in time about the house and the best way to progress that, too. I can keep an eye on things for you from here. Take the pressure off you.’

‘Oh, I’m so happy, Madison. You are amazing. Thank you so very much. I must go and tell Emily this amazing news. Would it be OK if I slept on it for a day or two and let you know for definite? It’s such a huge decision to make and I need to make sure it’s the right one… but you have made all the difference. It seems to me to be the perfect solution. The thought that Baxter could be living with you makes me feel very different about things. Not quite so sad. I know you think the world of him and I know that he loves you too! Thank you, thank you, my sweet girl. Speak very soon.’ The screen went blank and as I closed my laptop, I turned to my little furry friend and stroked his head. His big brown soulful eyes looked deeply into mine and my heart filled with love and excitement at the possibility of having him around permanently.

* * *

Much as I wanted to play it cool and make him suffer a little longer, when Jamie texted me and asked if he could take me out for a meal on Thursday evening, I agreed. However, when Thursday came around, I was in a right old tizzy about what to wear. Did I dress up for him, did I dress up to make myself feel better, or should I just go in my new casual wardrobe? I hadn’t dressed up for a while.

There were two reasons why I’d agreed to meet him at the restaurant that he’d suggested rather than let him pick me up. The first was so that he didn’t come to my home – I was still surprised at how much the barn already felt like home; far more than my flat ever had, and I wasn’t ready to have him in my personal space. The second was so that if I realised that I’d made a bad decision, I could make my excuses and leave. All I had to remember was not to get drunk! I really needed to keep my wits about me and not do anything stupid, so it just seemed like a good idea all round to make my own way there.

Part of me was kicking myself for getting butterflies just knowing that I was going to meet him, and the other half was trying to tell myself to pipe down and stop being ridiculous. It was Jamie and he was the man who had let me down so badly and broke my heart into smithereens. And I’d never forgive him. The only reason I was going was to find out what else he had to say for himself.

---