Page 20 of Escape to the Country

‘So please trust me again. I would never get you to do something unless I was sure you’d end up loving it. You know that.’

My breathing started to steady and I realised that what she was saying was true. Even though I hadn’t always been around for her, she’d always been there for me.

‘Look, Maddy, I know we haven’t seen much of each other over the last few years, and I know that you found it difficult to come back to Giddywell for a while, but I hope you feel differently now.’

‘Thank you, Beth, I really do appreciate that. I can’t explain very well why I stayed away. I just felt like a complete failure when my relationship broke down. Giddywell was always my happy place and I didn’t want to poison it with my grief.’

‘Oh, darling, please don’t ever feel like that. Giddywell is always a place that I hope you feel you can come back to. Anyway, I asked you before, do you trust me?’

‘OK, OK.’ I held my hands up in surrender. ‘I trust you. But I may have to wring your neck if I make a fool of myself.’

She smiled and held my hand. ‘You are silly, darling; you could never make a fool of yourself. You are too lovely. I just wish you could see what I could see. And it’s not like it’s a full-blown concert on a stage. It’s just a few old people in a nursing home. Now if you really love me, I could murder a cup of tea.’

* * *

Back in the farmhouse kitchen, Uncle Tom popped his head round the front door to say a proper hello to me. ‘How are things, Maddy, darling?’

‘Oh, you know, I’m getting there gradually. Just need to sort out my finances and work out what I’m going to do with the apartment.’

‘Why’s that? I thought you loved your lakeside space.’

‘I did, but I don’t any more and to be totally honest, I’m really not sure it’s wise to be spending the sort of money I do on rental there every month now I’m not working. My redundancy money is going to run out eventually and I really need to find a job.’

‘Well, hopefully now Beth’s back home and we don’t have to keep nipping out to the hospital, we can work out some proper structured hours here for you, instead of doing a few hours here and there, but only if you want to, of course. Beth’s critical illness insurance has given us a bit of breathing space over at doggy daycare and we just need to sort out the other farm jobs and work out what needs doing. Perhaps we could sit down later and do that. The other thing I wanted to mention was that the couple renting the barn conversion are moving out on Friday and I need to find some new tenants. You don’t know anyone who might be interested, do you?’

‘It would be great to sort out proper hours and get some structure back into my life. I feel like I’ve been floating around aimlessly for the last few weeks. It’s been really strange after years of working every single day. I’ll mention the barn to Mum. I blooming love that barn. I remember when you renovated it. So beautiful. She might know someone who’s interested. She’s more aware of what’s going on in the community than me.’ I handed him a cuppa and went back upstairs with our drinks and a packet of biscuits tucked under my arm. ‘I’ll pop over later and give you a hand settling the dogs down for the evening if you like.’

‘I need to show you what we do with the chickens too. You are wonderful, darling. We have missed you being around the place. See you in a while. Don’t rush, it’s not busy and I know that Beth loves having you sit with her.’

* * *

When I got back to the flat that evening, I rang and spoke to Hayley, who was the activities co-ordinator at Meadow View.

‘Oh, Madison, I’m so pleased to hear from you. We can’t wait for your performance on Saturday. Now, I believe you’ll be singing songs from across the decades for our residents. They are going to love that so much. Is it OK if we aim for two half-hour slots and see how it goes, with a cup of tea and a bit of cake in the middle? That way it’s not too much for the older residents.’

My heart sank; I hadn’t sung in public since I’d left the choir all those years ago. I knew she said it would only be to a few people, but what on earth was Beth making me do? She really was pushing me way outside my comfort zones just lately. She knew that I’d got myself into such a tizzy years ago, before I went on a stage to sing at school, mainly because they used to give me the solo parts, whereas when I was in the choir, I was just one amongst many people who loved to sing. I knew there probably wouldn’t be a stage at this venue, but it was still a massive thing for me to do. I’d be drinking a whole bucketful of Rescue Remedy before I stepped foot inside that care home on Saturday.

‘Just let me know if you’d like the piano at all, or whether you’ll just bring an amplifier and CD player with you, if you would, please, so we can organise it all for you. You’ll be singing in the day room and there will be a few of the residents and the staff.’

‘The piano would be fabulous, thank you. And I’ll bring some backing tracks with me to play on my laptop too. I’ll judge it on the day and see what they prefer and I’ll alternate between the two if that’s OK.’

That also gave me a bit of breathing space to see whether I was more comfortable with one more than the other, but I didn’t share that. I’d checked out some Facebook groups and it had been recommended that I bought a cheap amp and microphone, and as someone was selling one for a great price, I snapped it up. If it sold that easily, I was sure I could put it back out for sale if I didn’t use it again.

‘Perfect, well in that case, we’ll see you on Saturday. Thank you again. We’re very much looking forward to it.’

She rang off. I was glad. She could probably have heard my heart thumping from where she was.

I popped the CD into the CD player in my lounge. The dulcet melody of ‘Moon River’ started to play and a smile spread across my face as my heart warmed and memories of times gone by came flooding back. I remembered Mum singing this when I was not much older than five or six. I adored the filmBreakfast at Tiffany’s. It was still one of my favourite films, although I hadn’t watched it for years.

Mum taught me everything I knew about music when we used to sing around the piano in the dining room. She had a beautiful voice and as a child I was fascinated by the way her fingers danced across the keyboard. Thank goodness I inherited her musical genes and also became a competent pianist. I used to wonder from time to time about my father and whether he was musical too. It was strange – I hadn’t thought about him for years but he seemed to be on my mind a lot lately.

It had been ages though since I’d played properly. I wondered if Mum still played. I hadn’t heard her for years. If not, perhaps she’d loan me her old piano so I could start to play again. Although I had no idea how we’d get it up the stairs of the flat. Like the singing, I only really gave up playing when I became busy with work and hadn’t had time to be at Mum’s. And busy was something that I absolutely was not these days. Perhaps that was why I’d been thinking about my father a lot too.

Flicking through the backing tracks, I noticed ‘Que Sera Sera’ by Doris Day, ‘Getting to Know You’ fromThe King and I, ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ and ‘My Favourite Things’ fromThe Sound of Music. Some of my favourite songs that we used to sing in the school choir that Beth had clearly picked to remind me of a time when music was everything to me. Thinking about them now brought back such fond memories. There were a few that I could probably still play but I’d have to rehearse first. I counted the days till Saturday. I needed to pull my finger out and start practising.

Beth’s note said that she’d picked some songs to start me off, but that it was up to me to find some more, so I set the rest of that afternoon’s task, as I had nothing else planned, to search for more tracks that everyone would know and hopefully get them foot-tapping and singing along to. Now I’d listened to the tracks and sung along to the ones I knew the words to, I was actually starting to look forward to this project. I found it bizarre that I could remember the words to songs I knew from years ago, but not what I had for tea yesterday.

Uncle Tom had given me the afternoon off as Russell was working, so I spent a wonderful afternoon listening to songs and singing along, trying to pick some that I knew people would know and might like to sing along to, before deciding on ‘Fly Me to the Moon’, ‘Over the Rainbow’, ‘When You’re Smiling’ and ‘Unforgettable’. I’d see how long they took me to play out before I decided whether I needed any more. The more I played and listened to these songs, the more I was actually starting to look forward to my afternoon at the care home and not feeling quite so anxious after all.

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