Page 18 of Amazing Grace

She turned to the nice lady she’d been chatting to, who now appeared to be having a full-on snog with her husband who’d just turned up.Lucky cow, Grace thought. The couple pulled apart and there, standing in front of her, was Tommy. Despite everything he had said just last night, he seemed to be very happily married with children. And clearly a big fat fecking liar.

‘Are you OK, love?’ the lady asked. ‘You’ve gone as white as a sheet!’

Grace looked at Tommy whose jaw had dropped open and who clearly didn’t know where to put himself. She composed herself and drew herself up to her full five feet five inches of height.

‘I’m fine, thanks. Your husband just really reminded me then of someone I once knew. Someone I thought was a really nice bloke and wanted to get to know more but turned out to be a complete fake. Your husband must be his doppelgänger. How strange. Anyway, enjoy your anniversary dinner, it was nice to meet you.’ Grace composed herself and smiled at his wife, feeling incredibly sorry for her. As she walked past Tommy she muttered under her breath for his ears only, ‘Arsehole!’

She held her head high and walked towards the other end of the supporter’s group, leaving the pretty lady staring after her and Tommy looking like he’d developed a facial twitch.

At half time, Grace went to the car and rang Monica. She was still shaking with shock. ‘Right, that’s it,’ she yelled down the phone. ‘Take me off that bloody site and do it now!’

‘OK, OK, keep your knickers on! What on earth has happened?’

Grace told her what had transpired and Monica was just as flabbergasted as she was.

‘What a tosser, and what a shame for his wife,’ she sympathised. ‘She sounds so lovely too. I’m going to report him to the dating site tomorrow and make them remove him. I do wonder how many other lies he’s told to other women. I’m so sorry, babe. I promise I’ll do that first thing and will remove your profile right now.’

‘And don’t ever think about setting me up with anyone again. Do you hear me, Monica?’

‘I promise you I won’t.’ And this time she wasn’t crossing her fingers. ‘But at least you’ve pushed your comfort zones a bit and can say you’ve tried internet dating now. You can’t say we’re not triers.’

‘You, Monica, are extremely trying, and it’s a very good job that I love you as much as I do! Bye!’

She wished her mum was still around. Even after so many years, she still wanted to pick up the phone just to hear her soothing voice when something was getting her down, or pop in for one of her special hugs. Sometimes – and thankfully, more often these days – she remembered her mum with fond memories and a smile. Other times, the grief rose up from nowhere and just sucker-punched her right in the gut.

She swallowed down a lump in her throat, wiped a tear from her eye and threw her phone onto the passenger seat as she went back to watch the second half of the match from a viewpoint as far away from Tommy as possible.

* * *

I’m so sorry that you’ve had a tough few weeks and some disastrous dates. I’m really not sure that Monica is the right person to be choosing them for you. I wish I’d realised the truth about Mark while I was there on earth but he was always so charming around your father and me. It was only towards the end of my life that I started to see cracks in your relationship and how forced your smiles were. They didn’t reach your eyes and didn’t come from your heart. But at that point, I didn’t have the energy to do anything about it. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I was so tired of fighting that blasted cancer attacking my body. I know you thought that I should fight to stay around for you forever, but I’d fought it on and off for ten years and I was so exhausted. I know that for a while after I’d gone you were angry because you thought I didn’t love you enough to fight for you. But I did and I do. I couldn’t have loved you more if I tried.

I just wish I’d told you that I knew how things were with Mark. That you didn’t have to pretend around me. I know you felt that you were letting me down, but you weren’t. You could never let me down. All I wanted for my girls was for you both to be happy.

Please don’t think that mine and your father’s relationship was always a bed of roses. In our day you wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, that’s all, so you had to stick it out. And I’m bloody sure that if your father had died before me, I’d be out having a whale of a time, kicking up my heels and really living. I know he’s your father and you obviously love him, but sometimes I could kick him up the bum for sitting and moping around. I’m not ready for him up here yet and he’s got plenty of living yet in him. Let’s hope he starts to live again in his new home.

And you too, my darling: you need to live and be happy. I wanted to make sure you knew what I wanted for you before I left you, but I ran out of time. You think you have time, you see, even when you are dying, but you don’t.

I want you to learn from life that you have to do the things you want to do, live every day to the full, don’t save anything for best, because you just don’t know how much time you have left on earth. So eat the damn cake, wear the best clothes and drink from your crystal glasses.

I love you, Mum xxx

10

The week after what she’d now named ‘the disastrous dates’ and after many conversations with Hannah and Monica – whom she had only just forgiven for setting her up with Derek, Malcolm and Tommy – Grace decided that she needed to put it all behind her and throw her energies into setting up her potential slimming club. She was charged with excitement as she got ready to check out the new café in town to see whether it could be a possible venue.

Grace touched the aqua aura crystal she wore on a chain around her neck for luck, took a great big breath and pushed open the door of Coffee Heaven and looked around. She’d never been in a coffee shop without planning to meet someone else, so she was extremely nervous and her palms were slightly sweaty. She’d dressed up for the occasion, to give herself more confidence, another little Monica trick, but now wondered whether the turquoise silky top, skinny jeans and brown knee-high boots were actually ‘her’. Perhaps she’d have felt better if she was wearing something she’d had for ages – that nice black top she always wore and her comfy old jeans, for instance. But then she knew that Monica would have killed her.

Monica was now like a little devil on her shoulder every time she got dressed. She’d had more compliments lately than she’d ever had before in her life though, so perhaps Monica had done her more of a favour than Grace gave her credit for. Yet it had still been pretty harsh when she’d walked past the charity shop in the village the other day and thought how frumpy the clothes in the window display were before realising that most of them were hers. At least no one could accuse her of looking like Archie’s granny any more. She was so determined to never go back to that point in her life.

Grace noticed him the minute she walked in. He was sitting on a leather settee, tapping away on his laptop on the low table in front of him, looking studious, with his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He was a man of many looks and they all suited him. When she had first seen him, he was in his gardening clobber, then he’d been looking smart on a night out, and now he looked deliciously casual in jeans, a snug fitting t-shirt (yum!) and smart trainers.

Grace’s first reaction was to turn around and walk straight back out again, but she remembered Monica telling her that she had to change the way she approached situations that made her nervous, so she took a deep breath and walked over to the table.

‘Ahem.’ She coughed nervously when she got there, trying to pluck up the courage to say hello and wondering whether he’d remember her.

‘Grace! How lovely to see you.’ Vinnie beamed at her and stood up, and they had one of those awkward moments when you don’t know whether to shake hands, or kiss once, or even twice. So they did nothing.

‘What brings you to my sister’s fabulous café today then? I do hope you are going to join me,’ Vinnie said, packing his work away.

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