Page 24 of Amazing Grace

‘Are you going to go out with him again, Mum?’ he asked as he looked up at her with those baby blue eyes that always made Grace’s heart swell.

‘I’d like to. He seems like a very nice man. But I’ll only go with your approval, my darling. You always have been and always will be the first priority in my life. From the moment you were born, you stole my heart. Between you and Becks, there’s only a bit of room – and time – left for anyone else, anyway. It is just nice for me to have some adult company when you’re not here, love. That’s all.’

‘OK, Mum, but I’m not sure I even want you to have a boyfriend.’

‘How come it’s OK for Dad to have a girlfriend but not for me to have a boyfriend, out of interest?’ she said gently to Archie, realising that she would have to tread very carefully.

‘Well, that’s clearly very different, isn’t it?’

Grace raised her eyebrows at her son’s statement.

‘I just wish that you and Daddy were still together and we all lived in the same house. Then I could be like some of the other people at school. But I suppose if that’s not going to happen right now, then I think I’d like to meet this friend of yours as soon as possible as I have a lot of questions that I’d like to ask him. I wrote them down at lunchtime at school today.’

‘Oh, OK, honey, that’s… er, really great.’ She squirmed inside. Who knew what Vinnie would think about being interrogated by someone else’s child? He’d probably run a mile.

‘Now, I know you’re upset about this, but you can’t go round punching people for taunting you. That’s just not on.’

‘This big rage came over me, Mum, and I didn’t know what to do. Before I knew it, I’d hit him. I am sorry, Mum, really, I am.’ He was still crying but getting the words out through his tears.

‘Well, tomorrow we’re going to have a day at home. Mrs Kelly has said that you are not allowed to go back to school until you apologise to George so you must do that the day after. We’ll tell Daddy that you have tummy ache tomorrow. But you have to promise me that you’ll talk to me about anything like this in future. Violence is not acceptable in any way whatsoever. Understand?’

‘OK, Mum.’ He hung his head in shame.

‘Now, give me a great big hug and eat your milk and biscuits.’

‘OK, Mummy. Can it be a big heart hug?’

They’d had lots of rituals over the years, one of them being their heart hugs, but Archie had grown out of them a couple of years ago. Grace had to kneel down so that she was Archie’s height and then they could hug tightly with their hearts right next to each other. They had to hold the hug for at least the count of twenty. Apparently it was a proven fact that a hug lasting for twenty seconds or more releases happy endorphins into your body and lowers stress, blood pressure and heart rate. It was something they’d done since he was old enough to hug her.

He clung on to her like he was never going to see her again, but when they separated, he smiled and said, ‘I don’t ever want you to not love me. That’s why I was so annoyed at the thought that you’d replace me.’

‘Impossible. That, my darling, would never ever happen.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘Not even if David Beckham asked you to marry him?’

‘Mmm, now that is a toughie! Let me just take a minute to think about that.’ She rubbed her chin, pretending to think it over.

‘Mummy!’ he warned. ‘Make sure you get the right answer.’

‘OK! Not even if David Beckham asked me to marry him!’ she replied.

‘Yes!’ shouted Archie as he fist-pumped the air. ‘The right answer!’

* * *

Grace stood at the kitchen sink, swilling some crockery around and pondering what had happened. She’d only been on one date with Vinnie and it had already caused a massive issue for Archie, and when all was said and done, Archie was more important to her than anyone. She really liked Vinnie, but was getting involved with someone new worth upsetting Archie for? And what was going on with Mark? He had actually been quite nice to her last night, even complimenting her. Was he jealous, or was it just a case of him not wanting her but not wanting anyone else to have her either? Grace was so mixed up. She knew that in an ideal world, Archie’s family would be complete and they’d all be together. And in fairness, that’s all she had ever wanted, but having that shouldn’t mean putting up with someone who had disrespected their family unit and cheated on her. God! It was so hard being a single mum. All this was making life so complicated.

‘Oh, Mum. I can’t tell you how much I wish you were here to chat through stuff with. I can’t believe it’s been so long and that I still miss you so much.’ A tear rolled down her cheek as she contemplated her life while she finished the washing up.

* * *

My sweet boy. I love you, my darling beautiful Archie. I know I never met you in person, but I’ve watched you since the day you were born, and even before that when I used to lay my hands on your mummy’s tummy when she was pregnant. You know that I am around you all the time. I know you feel it. I see your smiles, and I get all the kisses you blow to me in heaven. And I know you saw me that time when I stood in the lounge doorway and Mummy asked you who you were waving at. I will be your nanna for the rest of your life, even though I’m up here and not physically there with you. I will do everything I can to guide you in the right direction and will always be around. I will make sure that you and your beautiful mummy will be very happy in your lives. Goodnight, my sweet little angel. I love you. Nannaxxx

14

Mark came round at four thirty on Friday afternoon to see Archie before he went away on his weekend to Spain and before Grace and Archie headed off to Wales. He was suspiciously nice for a change and gave Grace a hug as he came in. She was thrown by that and offered him a cup of coffee, immediately kicking herself because she didn’t normally give him any reason to stay. He spent some time playing with Archie on the floor, something she hadn’t seen him do for a long time. A tickling competition ensued, and soon both were properly belly-laughing. Grace felt a pang of regret for all the good times they’d had.

Looking at Mark and their son smiling together made her heart flutter. It was times like this that all the bad things about her ex were flung out of the window and all the good things that they had shared came flooding back from her memory bank. Grace got up to walk out of the room, as the feeling was quite overwhelming.

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