Page 119 of Trigger

I forced a smile and nodded at Vic, although I had no idea whatshe’d said. After a few moments, I excused myself and went in search of somehard liquor. When I found a bottle of scotch, I drank more than I should have,hoping it would make me feel better. Ruth from HR stood beside me and rambledon about workplace politics, but I barely heard her. I was searching for thatfrosty blue glare because even that glare of fury was better than coldindifference. But I couldn’t find it.

I could see Chief Bibb and his wife playing canasta with Bruce. Icould see Adam hitting on Vic, who had to be drunk because she kept giggling athis jokes, and the man had no sense of humor. I could see Shelly eating thecake with her fingers, probably because she was too wasted to find a fork.

When I noticed the movement on the balcony, I headed there,colliding with the furniture that kept appearing in my way. I was about to stepoutside when I heard a familiar voice.

“I thought you were asexual,” Tye said to whoever, soundingamused.

The other person spoke next, and I realized it was Jordan.

“I also said I was a pathological liar. You shouldn’t believeeverything I say.”

Tye chuckled. “That’s not a very smart thing to say when you’rehitting on someone, don’t you think?”

That little shit was hitting on him? No way!

I peeked behind the curtain, only to see them next to the railing,standing close to each other. Why the fuck were they standing so close to eachother?

“Besides,” Tye added. “I’m not the one you really want, am I?”

Jordan shrugged, raising his hand to caress Tye’s chest. I reachedfor my gun, only to realize I didn’t have it on me.

“We can’t always get what we want, can we, Tye?”

Tye’s smile disappeared from his face.

“You know it better than anyone,” Jordan continued. “That’s whyI’m proposing this to you. Bathroom. Now. I’ll suck you off, and then you cansuck me off. Yes, or no?”

I didn’t wait for Tye’s reply. I merely walked up to them andpunched the little shit square in the jaw.

The rest of it was a blur. I could remember Jordan falling to theground and my fists hitting his face. I could remember Tye’s arms closingaround me and pulling me off him. He held me firmly, one arm across my chest,the other across my waist, while his erection throbbed against my ass. Andeverything was spinning around me. The night sky was beneath my feet, and thebalcony floated above my head. The stars danced around me. It was probably whyI didn’t see Adam’s fist slamming into my face.

“You fucking asshole!” he bellowed before punching me in the gut.“Look what you did to him.”

“I’m fine,” Jordan mumbled, scrambling to his feet. “It’s myfault. I said something I shouldn’t have.”

Then the strong arms let go of me and I saw Tye punching Adam inthe face. He sent him flying through the balcony door before Adam landed on theliving room floor, taking the curtains with him. Gasps and screams filled theroom as I stumbled drunkenly inside, facing Vic’s wide-eyed, incredulous stare.Chief Bibb was yelling something and raising his fist in the air. His wife wascrying next to him. Tye grabbed Adam by the lapels and hit him in the gut,mumbling, “I told you not to mess with him, dickhead.” Jordan threw himself atTye, hitting his back and pulling at his hair, but Adam still got another punchin the face.

“Enough!”

At the sound of Shelly’s blood-curdling scream, everyone wentsilent. You could hear a pin drop as everyone turned to look at her. And shestood in the middle of the room with a chocolate-smeared face, an empty bottlein her hand, and tears streaming down her face.

“It’s my party,” she said, sobbing. “And I can cry if I want to.”

Then she fell to the floor and passed out.

Thorsen

Seeing a grown man cry wasn’t a pretty sight, especially if youwere a mean, big, muscular S.O.B. like me. Still, it was what I did after I’dreturned from New Mesa because the man I wanted didn’t give a shit aboutme.

The man I wanted. God, want had nothing to do with it. Sure, Iwanted to fuck him six ways to Sunday and hear him say my fucking name, please,and thank you, but it was more than that. Wanted. Liked. Loved. I tried allthose words on my tongue, hoping to find the one corresponding to my feelings.In the end, I distilled it into two things. Love and misery.

I spent two weeks trying not to think about him. I hung out withpeople who mostly annoyed me, working on a case I didn’t care about. My absencefrom Shitsville made me feel as if I’d betrayed Sophie Malik, Roxie Brokowich,and all the other victims. The killer went underground, and every clue wefollowed turned out to be a dead end.

And two weeks later, here I was, in the same hell… watchingDominic Carter with someone else. I never hurt a woman in my life, but to seehis hand on Vic’s waist made me want to slam my fist into a wall. As far asCarter was concerned, I mostly avoided that damn hypocrite or tried to, but myeyes kept finding him. Watching him. Feasting on him.

I was so desperate that I promised myself I would fuck someonetonight. A man, a woman, it didn’t matter. I just wanted the pain in my chestto go away. So, when Jordan came to me with his indecent proposal, I almostlaughed. Still, I couldn’t do it. My heart wasn’t in it because it was too busypining after a man who would never return my feelings.

Then all hell broke loose, Shelly had a nervous breakdown, and thechief threatened to fire us all. After that, everyone just sort of… dispersed.

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