Page 139 of Trigger

I had a bigger chance of shooting myself in the back.

Thorsen

I missed the fucker. I really did. A few days ago, when he told mehe was leaving for Grangetown, I thought he was running away. I knew it was apossibility after what had happened the night before, and what happened was thebest sex I ever had. But it turned out that he really had to go to Grangetown,so I told myself I was panicking for no good reason. Also, I was in love withhim. If I doubted it once, now I was sure of it since I couldn’t eat, sleep, orthink because he was always on my mind. At work, Shelly caught me staring intothe distance dreamily a few times and teased me mercilessly about it. I sleptwith his T-shirt that I stole from him when I was at his place, and which stillcarried his scent. Basically, I had all the signs of the affliction calledlove.

Still, I could sense a reservation in him after his return. Somesort of… tension. And not just of a good, sexual kind, which was always therebetween us, even in the beginning when we just argued. Was I surprised by it?Not really. I knew he was probably confused and needed time to process things.Judging by the looks he kept throwing my way, he still wanted me, but was heready for more? I wasn’t so sure about that. And I was growing impatient. Iwanted to kiss him. Hug him. Open my heart to him. And I had a feeling itwasn’t the right time. Shelly all but confirmed it to me when she called me fora quick chat.

“What’s wrong with him?” she said, pointing her chin at Carter.“He looks constipated.”

“Oh, just the usual brooding mode,” I joked.

She frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“And you two are okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Hmm… I can sense a weird vibe betweenyou.”

I hoped others were worse detectives than her, and since this wasthe LD, my odds looked good.

“Nah. We’re fine.”

Sadly, she wasn’t as easily discouraged.

“It feels as if you two have gotten into a fight again, but Ican’t see fresh bruises on you. Or as if you argued or…” She giggled.“Shagged.”

I couldn’t see my face, which I thought was impassive, butwhatever she saw there made her eyes widen. In fact, they looked like big brownsaucers.

“Shut up!” she exclaimed, a touch too loud.

“Shh,” I shushed her, looking around. “It’s not what you think.”

“The hell it’s not!”

“Shel, be quiet,” I mumbled in a low voice, feigning a smile onbehalf of a few looks that came our way.

She stood on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear, “You bottomed,right?”

I scratched my head, wondering how to answer that, when her eyeswidened in disbelief.

“No fucking way! No fucking way he let you up his ass… choo!” Shepretended to sneeze when every head in the room turned toward us.

“Bless you,” I muttered, running my fingers through my hair.

She pointed a finger at me.

“You will tell me everything!”

“Okay,” I agreed in a low voice. “Just be quiet.”

“Drinks after work,” she said. No, ordered.

“Did someone say drinks?” Bruce said, biting into his hot dog.“Count me in.”

Jordan looked at Adam, who yawned and added, “Me too.”

---