Only when I said it did it occur to me that I had no idea if hewas gay or straight, or anything else. He was always just… Bazooka. Efficient,emotionless, and deadly. And always alone.
“Nah,” he replied, staring into the distance. “I’m not cut out forthat relationship shit. But you… you deserve someone who deserves you. Repeatafter me.”
“I deserve someone who deserves me. And that someone is Dom.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re hopeless. And the next round is onyou.”
When I got back to my place, it was almost three a.m. I was drunkand tired, and my heart ached, along with my head and my dick. I collapsed onthe bed and dialed Carter’s number. He wasn’t answering, so I listened to itring until I passed out.
When I woke up around noon, I had a marching band playing in myhead. I drank a bottle of water and puked my guts out. After that, I calledCarter again, but it went straight to voicemail. And that marching band stillplayed in my head. Relentlessly.
I took a long, cold shower until I felt semi-human again, andbrushed my teeth. When I came to the bedroom and saw a text from Carter, Ibreathed a sigh of relief.
Carter: Can’t talk now. At work.
After that, I went to the police station and had a long fuckingday. The evidence was inconclusive, the witnesses nonexistent, and anotheryoung woman was dead. So, we went from door to door. We spent the day talkingto neighbors, friends, and relatives. Searching the database for more clues.Talking to the other cities about other cases. The work was exhausting, butwhat bothered me more was that I couldn’t reach Carter. My calls to him wentunanswered, although I got a few cryptic texts, like, “It’s not a good time,”“It’s a shitshow around here,” and “I’m going to kill Adam, I swear.”
He was busy. I got that. I knew how Chief Bibb could be a meanS.O.B., and I tried to be understanding, but I didn’t like it. It was just tooweird that he couldn’t find a minute to call me back, and I started to fearthat Bazooka was right. And so, the days passed, filled with hard work,fatigue, and heartache. My nights were filled with want, anger, andhelplessness. On the morning of the fifth day, after I texted Carter that I wascoming back, I got a text and a Hawaiian shirt emoji.
Carter:I can’t wait to see you again.
I bit my lip and grinned. Fucking asshole.
Me:Can’t wait to see you, too, babe.
After that, I picked up my duffel bag and left theapartment.
When I arrived in Shitsville, driving like a bat out of hell, itwas already dark. I parked in my usual spot and rushed into the building,running up two stairs at a time. I knocked on Carter’s door, relieved to hearfootsteps on the other side when the door opened, and I saw Vicky standing inthe doorway.
“Tye! What a nice surprise. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
I swallowed what felt like sand in my mouth, mumbling, “Hi.”
“Do you want to come in?”
Her words were chipping away at my heart piece by piece, so nowonder I didn’t answer her question. I had no clue what I wanted. In fact, Iknew exactly what I wanted, but I had a feeling it wasn’t available anymore.Before I could say anything, a large hand appeared on the door, pushing it wideopen.
“Thanks, Vic. Erm… Wait for me inside, yeah?” A deep voicerumbled.
When jungle green eyes found mine, heart sank to the fuckingground. He was there, in front of me, but he could have been on the moon. Hewas equally unreachable.
“Seriously?” I said with a smirk.
It was all I could muster. In fact, I was surprised that my mouthformed the word, and my brain thought of it.
“I know this isn’t what you expected.”
His words caught me off guard. What did I expect? I was trying tofigure it out when I remembered Bazooka’s words.
Even if it crossed his mind, you know the chances of him acting onit are…
Next to nothing.
Carter’s gaze slid down my chest, and then lower, pausing on mydick for a moment before returning to my eyes. He blushed, and rightfully so,because he just ogled me. So, I returned the favor. I looked at him from headto toe, every black-clad, delicious inch of him, especially the inches next tohis thigh, presently swelling under my stare. I ate him with my eyes,concealing nothing because I had nothing to hide, unlike that motherfucker.
“I tried to tell you,” Carter said in a low voice, stepping towardme. “I mean, I wanted to, but…”
When I imagined our reunion, I never pictured myself standingoutside his apartment like a stray dog. Standing on the inside, sure. Fuckinghim against the door, hell yeah. In fact, in my head, I fucked him against thatdoor in so many ways, I could have written a new and improved Kama Sutra. But Inever imagined this.