Page 91 of This Pack of Ours

“Oh shit, Juni, I will if you want me to,” he said, perking up. “Who?”

His eyes went to Adrian as Vander cackled. My mouth opened and closed, and I could feel the patches of heat on my cheeks spreading down my neck.

Kit was still looking at me expectantly, like I’d select someone and kick my feet up as they bent him over.

Arousal surged between my legs, and I was just wearing this dressing down. Thank fuck they were all by the couches?—

The floor creaked behind me, and I turned to see Jhin, staring at me, his mouth open slightly and his eyes glittering.

I grabbed my yogurt and fled to the spare room.

* * *

You asked for this. I told myself as I hugged my new shark pillow and sat alone on the spare bed.

My eyes prickled with tears.

I could hear them getting ready for the night, Ez and Vander bickering about something before it went quiet. I’d been delaying it, but I needed to put the yogurt tub back in the fridge or it’d go bad. I sighed and stood up, grabbing it and stomping outside. Vander was sitting on the couch next to Adrian. They were looking at Adrian’s phone, both sharing the set of earbuds that were connected to it. Adrian was bobbing his head slightly, and Vander was tapping a finger on his knee to a beat I couldn’t hear.

I opened the fridge and looked up as Jhin came out of the bathroom.

“Wait up!” Kit called, and stumbled out after him, falling into the wall with a bang. Jhin caught him, steadying him on his feet, as Vander and Adrian both looked up.

“Careful,” he said gently, and Kit looked up at him with a shy smile. For a moment, they just gazed at each other, and I felt an ugly, jealous pain rising in me as Kit slipped his hand into Jhin’s.

They walked toward the room, and Kit’s eyes found me. He wasn’t high anymore, and I saw his expression twitch into something that looked like regret.

“Um, hey Juni,” he chewed his lip. “You okay?”

My chest felt tight.

Okay?

Sleeping alone again after all these years?

“I’m fine, now,” I said, forcing a smile onto my face. “Have a good night with them. You deserve it.”

He hesitated, but Jhin was still going and Kit followed him into the room and closed the door.

The room was far too warm and stuffy, and I shoved the yogurt tub back in the fridge.

I needed some space. To be alone.

I rushed back to the spare room, closing the door far too hard.

I could already feel the tears starting to trail down my face, a painful lump in my throat. I climbed onto the bed and hugged my knees, the misery pouring over me as I tried to cry quietly.

I wanted my dad.

It had been almost six years, and the pain didn’t surface as often as it once had, but when it did it was still just as intense as it had been when he’d first been taken from me. He should be here with me, right now, and I just wanted him to pull me into a big hug as I told him all my problems. Then he’d stroke my hair and ask if I wanted him to fix it or just listen.

“Maybe you can see all this, Dad,” I whispered to the dark. “I want you to fix it, this time, okay? I can’t do it by myself. I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose him. Lose them.”

I’d been denying it the past few days, stuck in this little bubble of time where we could all exist together, but today had made it clear. There was no future with us both.

The door opened, light spilling into the room, and I held my breath, glaring up at whoever it was invading my space.

Vander looked down at me, his pale eyes flashing in the light.

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