Page 79 of This Pack of Ours

He hesitated for a second, and then pulled me into a sweaty hug. I didn’t hug him back, but I didn’t push him away.

“I’m so sorry we weren’t here,” he said. “I can’t believe they did this, it’s so messed up. Jhin said they should have had a warrant, and it needed to be signed by a judge, and he’s filing a complaint right now. So we’re gonna fix this for you, okay?” He was speaking into my shoulder and it was slightly muffled, but he gave me a squeeze and let me go.

I shrugged numbly.

“You don’t owe me anything,” I said. “You’re not even my pack.”

“But we will be,” he said confidently. I stared at him blankly. Thisagain?

“Well. Whatever happens, I know how I feel right now,” he went on. “And right now, you’re ours and we weren’t here with you.”

The words seemed to sink into my soul, my heart, and it started to race as I realized that I felt the same way he did. Right now, Ididfeel like I was theirs. Which was definitely not how I should be feeling. Shit. I was fucking this up so bad.

I’d fucked Vander, and I’d ambushed Adrian, I’d let Ez cuddle me during the movie, and I’d tried to comfort Jhin last night. I should have told them they couldn’t stay, or maybe I should have left, because now the thought of living here without any of them was unbearable.

But staying permanently, like Ez was suggesting, wasn’t an option. Kit would be in the bond and, if I joined, he wouldknowhow obsessed I was with him. And he’d be stuck with me, and I’d be stuck loving a person who didn’t love me back for the rest of my life.

“We got some new pillows for you,” Ez was saying as my heart fell apart in my chest. “We looked at nesting needs, but it was like, one scent-free pillow or fifteen ones that smell like a factory, so we went with the factory ones. Sorry.”

There was a lump in my throat again as I looked at the haul. They’d bought usnewpillows? I crouched down and picked up a fluffy yellow one. It was the softest thing I’d ever felt in my life. It smelled a bit plastic-y, but that was so much better than the myriad of smells that came with a second-hand one.

“Do you want us to help you set up?” Adrian asked. He and Vander had come into the room at some point. Ez shot me a hopeful grin. I swallowed and stood up.

“I think that you guys should have this room now. It’s bigger. And if he wants, Kit could have his nest in here. And I’ll… I’ll make one in the spare room.” My voice dropped to a miserable whisper at the end.

I looked up at them. Adrian looked concerned, Ez confused, but Vander was looking right at me, a grim understanding on his face.

He nudged the pillows at his feet.

“These ones were our best guess at what you like,” he said. I walked over and looked at them. They were smooth and heavy, with one long white, funny-shaped roll that was almost as big as me. I picked it up and realized it was a shark.

I loved it.

“Thanks,” I muttered, taking my new favorite pillow to the spare room and setting it down on the bed.

There was a knock on the door, and Adrian poked his head in, arms full.

I waved him in and he sat down next to me, setting the pillows down.

“I, um, saw this when I was out,” he said, pulling something out of his pocket. He held it out to me with a shy smile. “Got it for you.”

I looked down at his hand. It was a little circular keychain made of clear plastic. Inside was some bright blue water, and in the water, colorful fishes floated around, bobbing with every tiny movement. I picked it up from his hand, and my fingers brushed against a button on the top. I clicked it, and it made the whole thing light up with a blue glow. It was pretty, and cozy, and felt so precious.

I swallowed, my eyes pricking with tears.

“Why?” I asked in a thick whisper.

“I thought it’d cheer you up,” he said, his large eyes examining mine.

“Well, don’t. Don’t try to cheer me up.” My hand clenched around the keychain as I continued. ”What are we Adrian? We’re notfriends. We’re nothing. I’m just your scent match’s roommate, and soon I won’t even be that anymore. So just stop. I don’t want your flowers. I don’t want you protecting me, or holding my hand, or cheering me up. If you want to be nice to me, leave me alone, alright?”

I opened my hand and let the keychain fall to the floor.

“Juniper—” he said, and he sounded so hurt, but fuck him because that wasn’t on me. I didn’t want any of this.

“Just get the fuck out of my room,” I said, not even managing to make it sound angry.

He stood up, and walked toward the door, hesitating as he opened it.

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