Page 63 of This Pack of Ours

“What happened?” I asked, voice hesitant.

He studied me for a second, his intense gaze taking me in. Then he settled back a bit.

“Please don’t share this with the others. Not all of them know the full story.”

I nodded, and he stared at his hands and started to speak.

“We’re an alpha crew, so we’re often deployed to more potentially dangerous cases. I knew this one was bad as soon as we entered the warehouse. I could hear people struggling to breathe even before we got to the room. There were bodies littering the floor. The only ones still breathing were an alpha and an omega, both close to death. Ez and Adrian went to the omega, and me and Vander went to the alpha. He was beside himself. Struggling to sit up, and to speak. The alpha, he was ordering us… to leave the omega. To let her die.”

He paused, his shoulders sagging. “We could see his tattoos; he was a trafficker. But that isn’t supposed to matter. We’re supposed to treat everyone, regardless. I could tell Vander was furious, but he’d always been professional. I looked up to see he’d drawn up the wrong drug. So much of it. And I didn’t catch it until he was already injecting it into the alpha’s bloodstream.”

His hand ran through his long hair again, his eyes haunted. “The death was recorded as blood loss. I’ve never seen him do anything like that. I still don't know if it was a mistake or not.”

His brows furrowed more, his eyes looking down.

“We saved the omega,” he said bitterly. “But it didn’t matter in the end. She was the one who had drugged the alphas and tried to slit their throats. They found her body two days after we’d rescued her. It would have been kinder if we’d let her die.”

He rested his head in his hands, and his scent, usually so reassuring, was laced with misery. The pull I felt to try to fix it was practically a compulsion. I slipped my arm through his, pulling him close.

“That’s so horrible,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder. Kit always made me feel better when he did that, and I hoped I was helping. I let my soothing instincts reach out, trying to bring Jhin peace. We stayed like that for a moment.

“I pulled us out because I felt nothing,” he said quietly. “How could I feel nothing about her death? We’ve seen so much, yet the idea of us becoming numb to it is the most horrifying thing of all. I don’t think we can go back.”

“Do the others know you think that?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. It’s become so much more than a job, it’s been our life. Our identity. But if it can make me lose compassion… if it possibly pushed Vander to take things into his own hands… I would like to find another path for us.”

I wished that I could offer them a job with us. With driving, or security like Daisy’s dads did. But the Safe House might be gone soon, so I just rested my head back on his shoulder.

I could feel his scent shifting though, responding tome. To my calming. I’d never tried this before, never thought that Icoulddo it, but here I was. Curled into Jhin’s strong, lean frame, breathing in his heady scent.

“Being here with you has brought me so much peace,” he murmured, and I lifted my head to look at his beautiful face. I’d resented being an omega since that catastrophic heat, always warring against my own nature. It had never seemed worth it until that moment, because here, as Jhin tugged me close to him, it felt like everything was right with the world. The person I was had finally found harmony with the person I wanted to be, and the feeling swelled in my chest as I gazed at him.

Our faces were so close now, his dark eyes soft as he took me in. I found myself leaning closer, because I could do so much more to comfort him through touch. To clear his mind of all his worries as I pressed my lips to his. His eyes flicked down to my lips, his gaze turning hooded and flooding me with desire. A cramp wracked my body as blood pooled to my groin.

Shit.

This time, my body’s fucked up revenge for trying to end my heat early was a fucking godsend as it brought me back to my senses. I abruptly pulled away from Jhin, terrified that it’d get as bad as it had with Vander, and we’d do something we’d regret.

“Ah,” I said. “Really should go to bed. Goodnight.”

I stepped back, giving a stupid, awkward wave, and not really looking at him. God, just another fucking reason I was such a shitty omega. Comforting my best friend's alpha shouldn’t have felt so fucking good.

“Goodnight Juniper,” he said as I scrambled toward my room. The cramp was getting worse, and I knew I’d need release for it to settle. I bit my cheek as I weighed my options, my core throbbing as I perfumed in the room.

They were very limited.

I’d have to take care of this myself, but the spare room wasn’t an option right now. I didn’t want to go back out of the bedroom now that I was perfuming like this. I glanced over at Kit’s sleeping form on my bed, then at my closet, with my box of toys.

I settled as far away from the bed as I could in the beanbag chair.

I’d have to be quiet because Kit was right there, probably wearing his silky pajama pants that left nothing to the imagination.

I swallowed as the image hit me, and heat seared to my core. I slipped my fingers down, and they were already coated in slick as I gave a smooth, tentative stroke down, pressing just inside, and then up to circle my clit, which throbbed in response.

Fuck.

I should not be thinking of Kit while I did this. Shouldn’t be thinking of how he’d worn those pants out this morning in front of the whole pack, and how I’d caught their gazes lingering.

---