Page 18 of This Pack of Ours

Forever.But it wasn’t fair to tell him that. We’d been roomies for years, ever since he’d helped me through my first unsedated heat, and I knew from the start he’d never be mine to keep. He was too lovely, and one dayhe’dfind a pack he liked and leave me, though he’d probably feel bad about it.

Oh.

What if this was his nice way of telling me he was ready? What if he wanted to leave, but he wanted to make sure thatIwouldn't be alone?

The Rhett pack had been at his last two heats, and they offered him a bond pretty much every month.

What if he’d decided to take it? He didn’t seem to mind them.

I swallowed down the misery and guilt that was rising up inside. I didn’t want to hold him back from that.

“Okay, no bond, but still,” he was saying, “you could have them for your heat again? It’s kind of nice to get a repeat pack that you know you click with.”

Like the Rhett pack.

“And if you see them again, then you can win them over. And you can stop worrying they’ll report you. You never know, something nice might happen?” He nudged me with his elbow, giving me a wink. I rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” I said. “But just to make sure they don’t report me.”

Maybe if I pretended to like this pack, he’d feel comfortable to move on.

“Don’t worry, Juni, we’re going to make sure they love you.”

This was a terrible idea.

THREE

JHIN

Kit: Hello. I’m Kit. I was supposed to be with you guys as Juniper’s heat buddy, but I was sick. Juniper was pretty stressed, but I know she liked you a lot. Would you give her another chance? Perhaps we could meet your pack for coffee and explain?

The message had come through this morning.

I’d called a pack meeting to discuss.

“No,” Vander said. His arms were folded across his chest. “I don’t know what this Kit dude is smoking. She did notlike us.”

“Need I remind you,” I said, my voice calm. “Thatyouare the reason we need this in the first place. And itworked, Vander.”

It had. Not to the degree I’d hoped, but he was more present than he’d been in a while. It had stopped the rut he’d been building up to. Of course, we might not need this if he would just open up. His bond was completely shuttered from the moment he woke up to the moment he slept. His control only failed him when he was rutting, which was pretty much useless for finding out why it was happening.

I’d tried to get him to talk about it, but he refused that, too.

Sometimes I was tempted to open my bond, to see if it might help. Ez and Adrian’s connection did help soothe him at times.

I held back because, if I opened up, it would become obvious how….strongmy feelings for Vander were. I was pack lead, and it was my duty to be responsible. To be aware that there was a power imbalance here, and the last thing I wanted was for Vander to feel pressure to reciprocate or respond to my feelings because I was in charge. And I needed to be fair to Adrian and Ez. They needed to be able to trust that I could be impartial, and treat them all equally.

I turned to Ez.

“What do you think?” I asked him. He sighed.

“I think I’m in love, dude,” he said, and Adrian and Vander both groaned.

“That’s the sex talking,” Vander said.

“No, for real. I mean, the sex was like perfect, but I think I love her, too. She’s all scary and prickly, but inside she was really sweet. I’d marry her.” He leaned back in his seat, satisfied.

“I will count that as a vote in favour,” I said, shaking my head. “Adrian?”

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