Page 117 of This Pack of Ours

I sobbed, pulling him close, drinking in his comforting scent. The last dregs of the numbness melted away, warmth coming back into my world.

Kit.

Mine.

“Are you okay?” I frantically moved his hair out the way, trying to see his neck. In response, he pulled me into a kiss, his warm lips melting into mine as the rain trickled down our faces. I pulled him closer, feeling his arms wrap around me, his thumb stroking my side?—

The moment was ruined by a horrible, bubbly gurgling sound, and we broke apart, looking over in alarm.

My eyes found Valerie, and I realized she must have fallen directly on top of the jagged remains of the glass pane. She twitched, her hate-filled eyes fixing on us as blood poured from her mouth before she stilled.

“Oh, fuck—” Kit said, and vomited on the ground right next to her.

JHIN

It went against everything I had ever disciplined myself to do. I couldn’t—I’dnever—allowed my feelings for Vander to influence my decisions, to make me give him special treatment. Yet as I felt Vander’s agonized connection open in our bond, I wasn’t sure there was any amount of self-control that could have kept me away. Whatever had hurt him, it was bad enough he’d released the iron gates that locked down his bond.

I could feel my control dissolving, too, seared away by the sheer terror that coursed through me.

There was an alpha still crouched over him, one of the pack hunting Juniper.

Scum.

I needed him gone. I channelled every single drop of my aura into my strike to his neck.

He didn’t even register I was there before he was gone, flung to the side with his c-spine shattered. I’d never wanted the aura I had. I’d always regretted the times I’d had to use it. But there was only visceral, raw satisfaction as his body crashed into the side of the mall twenty feet away.

I came down over Vander, my hands smashing through the concrete on either side of his torso like it was thin ice.

“Vander,” I said frantically, and he blinked up at me with his blue eyes. They were hazy, and his skin was too pale, the left side of his face covered in blood. My hands were moving, checking his pulse, his breathing, seeing where he was hurt. He was bruised and scratched all over; and the worst of it was his right arm; probably broken in two places, but no life-threatening outward bleeding and I could still get a pulse in his wrists.

“You’ll be alright,” I said, the relief flooding through me almost making me collapse on top of him.

His eyes met mine. Our bond was fully open, and he wasn’t rutting or lust-drunk; and that meant we could feel each other.

“You really scared me, Vander,” I said softly. He sniffed, looking away.

“Yeah, well, better me than the others,” he replied, looking to the side, where Juniper and Kit were standing—safe, thank god, as I saw Valerie, collapsed on the glass behind them.

Vander was flooded with sadness, tinged with a bitter resignation.

I frowned, moving his head back to face me.

“No, Vander,” I said sternly. “Losing you would have destroyed me as much as any of them.”

He managed a shaky half-smile up at me.

“Shit, Jhin, didn’t know you cared,” he said, and I could feel a longing, interspersed with an old, deep pain.

Oh. Oh no. I’d pushed him away to keep things fair but I never, ever wanted him to think… that I didn’t care.

“Then, I’ve failed you,” I said, and I leaned down and rested my forehead on his, my eyes closing as I leaned into the familiar position. I stretched the bond in a completely new way, trying to open it as wide as I could, trying to show him, because I cared so much it hurt. I was ready to accept that this may ruin us, may shatter me.

But I had to make this right.

So I poured it into him, a lump in my throat, everything I’d hidden my whole life. That he was intertwined with my heart, my soul. That as he’d slowly broken these last years, I’d been breaking, too. I opened my eyes again to see him.

His eyes widened as he looked up at me, his usually tense face now oddly soft.

---