Page 104 of This Pack of Ours

Their address was an apartment in the center of New Oxford, not too far from where I’d had my disastrous meeting. I’d meet them. I’d secure a bond. They’d take me back to their apartment—probably much bigger than my current one—and fuck my brains out for this stupid repeat heat.

I couldn’t really picture it. It seemed distant. Cold.

Not like the warmth of my apartment, where I’d slip back into my nest with Kit, or on the sofa with my head on Ez’s chest.

Don’t think of them.

I should probably tell Kit that I was okay, though, or he’d come looking for me.

I took out my phone, and typed a message, deliberately not looking at any of the texts he’d sent.

Me: Hey. Sorry about today. Doctor said I re-triggered my heat, so I think it’s best if I stay away from you and the pack. I’m going to stay at the Safe House tonight. Please don’t come by. I should have left sooner. Hope you’re okay.

I hit send before I could crack and add something like‘I’ll miss you’.

Then, I sighed and started the car. A ping of worry and guilt flashed through the bond, and I tried to shove it away again. My phone buzzed, a call coming through, but I cut it off.

I made my way back to the Safe House, where Luna invited me to watch a movie. I mumbled some excuse and retreated to my room.

It was empty, much too open, so I crawled to the closet. The Safe House always had spare nesting supplies, and I raided the stash. I shoved a couple of pillows above me, burying myself, because any space reminded me that I was alone.

I hugged a hot water bottle and finished tucking a weighted blanket over my legs, finally feeling a little more safe.

I was staring down at my hands, and the small, glowing keychain with the bobbing fish. I pressed the LED button and stared as it lit up, the movement of the water and dim light soothing me almost as much as the blankets, but with an added burden of guilt. I’d gotten rid of their stolen scents, but I wasn’t strong enough to let this go.

My phone buzzed, and I freed my arm, tugging it from between my legs.

Unknown: Hello, Juniper? This is Valerie! I can’t tell you how excited I am that we finally got a scent match!

Numbly, I started typing out a reply. I needed to not be alone.

SEVENTEEN

Just before Juniper’s meeting

KIT

Ez reached out to steady me as I walked through the door.

“Easy, there,” he said, slipping his arm around me.

I could still feel Juniper faintly in the bond, a ball of discomfort.

“Kit?” Adrian had come out, looking concerned. I realized I was just standing by the door, staring into space, looking miserable. Smelling like her.

“Is Jhin here?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Adrian said, and stepped back to knock on my bedroom door.

I blinked as Jhin stepped out, dressed in a suit. He was typing something on his phone.

“You going somewhere?” asked Vander.

Jhin looked up, about to speak, but his eyes found mine, and he stopped.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I bit my lip.

“I can’t do this,” I said.

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