Page 101 of This Pack of Ours

“Based on your symptoms, I would guess your heat will start in the next two or three days. I can run some blood work if you need a more accurate timeline.”

“No, I don’t think I need that,” I said, a low, thrumming fear building in my stomach. I couldn’t do another heat. The memories of my last one were still so vivid. So painful, and it was so fucked up because, despite everything, I still only wanted one pack.

“Do you have arrangements, Ms. Anders? We can see if we can book you in here.”

How ironic. I’d come here for investment on keeping omegas safe during heats, when I couldn’t even manage this myself.

I was a fraud.

For one mad second, I considered her offer. Just coming here and taking the drugs.

But fuck no. Even the thought of that, of lying there while the darkness took me was enough to make me nauseous.

“N—no. Thanks,” I said, standing up. “I’ll be okay.”

I felt numb as I walked out of the clinic.

I arranged for another rideshare to take me to the Safe House, where I went into one of the spare rooms and got out my phone. I needed to start the process of finding a pack.

I felt sick whenever I looked at my phone.

My mind kept circling back to them, every memory painful. I’d managed to push Kit’s bond to the back of my mind, desperately trying to ignore it, but it was there. Impossible to ignore, glowing like a silver star in the blackened night sky.

Until it faded completely, there was no avoiding it.

As much as it pained me, I needed to escape it—to escapehim.

No matter how far I ran, no matter how much I fought to forget him, I knew it wasn’t an option. I couldn’t just walk away without looking back.

I couldn’t just leave him.

A shaky breath wracked my chest, and I swallowed hard.

I needed a way out, a way to make this madness end. I couldn’t do it on my own, but there were ways of cutting them out if I really tried.

If I had to…

A twisted thought bloomed in my mind, one that came with a wave of nausea. If I was going to escape the Argo pack and Kit, I would need more help than I cared to admit. More help than I wanted.

It was risky, and it would cost so much, but what other option did I have?

I curled up on myself, running through the idea over and over, but despite its flaws, it had gripped me and wasn’t letting go. It was so selfish, and yet its own punishment as well. Perhaps I’d finally be where I belonged.

My mind made up, my feet moved of their own volition.

“Luna, I’m borrowing your car!” I called as I grabbed her keys and left the house. I was going to the Institute.

* * *

I sat in the parking lot of the Institute, clutching the steering wheel tightly.

I needed out. A clean break. Something to stop the pain that came every time I thought of them, something that could get me through this heat without them.

Vander had given me the answer last night as we sat on the mattress together. “When I scented him, it was the first time—ever—that I didn’t think of Jhin. He’s like a balm.”

A scent match could make me forget. And the Valentine Division of the Institute was designed to help omegas find a scent match.

It wasn’t forbidden, but gold pack omegas didn’t come to the Valentine Division often.

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