Page 100 of This Pack of Ours

“Juniper, please let me explain.” There was pure anguish in his eyes as he looked at me. The intensity of his gaze was oppressive, intense, and I couldn’t look away as he continued. “I never meant to let you down, and I did everything I could to make it here, but Kit came home as I was about to leave. He was quite distressed. I had to stay and help him, but I came as soon as I could.”

I stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest. Because it was all… my fault.

I’d fucked it up again.

Right. Kit was distressed. Because he’d had to… help me in the car. And Jhin couldn’t have told Kit he had to leave, because I’d asked him to keep it a secret. He’d had to choose between me and Kit and he chose Kit, because he’d always choose Kit.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? I’d inserted myself into their lives. I’d trusted them. I’d relied on them, and they weren’tmine. They were his, always had been, always would be. There was no room for me, and I should have been stronger, accepted that sooner. Stopped fucking hanging around, pining after them, enjoying their company.Trustingthem.

“I see,” I might have said, blinking.

There was only one thing to do now. I had to get out of their lives.

Jhin might have said something, but I didn’t hear, instead walking away.

He followed, and I turned to him with a glare.

“Fuck off,” I said. “Don’t follow me.”

I didn’t look back as I rounded the corner.

SIXTEEN

JUNIPER

I arranged a rideshare over to the nearest heat clinic and booked in for a checkup about my symptoms. It had been almost a week since my heat was supposed to have ended, and I needed to stop these spikes.

After a long wait, I found myself sitting on a sterile bed while an omega doctor asked me questions. Dr. Keene was tall, with dark skin and hair pulled back into a tight bun.

“You just went through a heat?” she asked, staring at me over the edge of a clipboard.

I nodded.

“I see. And this heat proceeded and ended normally?”

“Yup,” I said, shifting in my chair.

Technically, the heat suppressors I’d taken were maybe a little bit banned. The doctor looked at me over her glasses.

“Ms. Anders, please remember that everything we talk about here is confidential. If you’ve taken any drugs, legal or otherwise, I’m asking to understand how to help you. That information won’t leave this room.”

Oh shit. She knew.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Well, I was almost done, and I needed to end it early, so I thought if I took a heat suppressor it would help?”

I chewed my lip.

“I actually took three.”

The doctor wrote something down on her clipboard, then turned back to me.

“Unfortunately, based on your symptoms, you took a heat suppressor that works by flooding your body with morepre-heatsignals. When you are in pre-heat, this has the effect of prolonging the pre-heat phase. By taking it when you did—at the end of your heat—the flood of pre-heat signals appears to have triggered your heat cycle to start again.”

“Oh,” I said, dismayed.Another heat.And it was my fault. My failure, as an omega, because I wasn’t even able to handle one fucking heat by myself.

So I’d fucked it up, and I’d taken advantage of Vander and then Kit.

“I’m sorry you felt you were in a position that you had to take drastic action like that,” Dr. Keene said, her voice soft. I nodded numbly, guilt twisting in me again. It wasn’t like I was being attacked, or escaping danger. I’d done it because Jhin had told me I was beautiful. Because he’d used my name. So stupid.

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