33
We’re doomed, anyway
Kaine
Fuck, it was a good day. Friends. Wine—that was a good find. Excellent sex. And I’d actually been sleeping well for the first time in centuries.
I eyed Talon appreciatively as he climbed over a fallen tree. Nidori was on Talon’s shoulder’s again, happily peppering him with questions. He answered them patiently, a smile on his face. He’d agreed to carry my wine. He’d helped us pack up, carried Nidori, and helped me out.
He glanced back at me and smiled, the action lighting up his beautiful eyes. Luminous blue on black, like a lightning strike in a storm.
Mine.
Completely, he had said.
Without a contract.
I think he had meant it.
The thought was like dunking my head in an ice bath.
It had terrified me this morning after I had settled enough to process what he’d said. And it terrified me tonight, when he was out here, still unbonded.
I desperately wanted it to be true. But there was no way someone like Talon could actuallywant someone like me. I didn’t think he understood that, if he really saw me, he’d change his mind.
Just like Nidori. For now, she was still happy and kind. She had already decided I was hers, but she didn’t even know I’d tricked her.
Which meant they’d figure it out, sooner or later. Eventually, they’d see past my mask and realise I was worthless. Nobody. Just a sharp cloud of pain and bitterness. And then they’d be miserable as well. Nidori would have to stay with me, but Talon would leave. I had thrown all caution to the wind last night, asking outright for him to ask the question. Start the bond. He had been close, the magic stirring, preparing, as he looked at me. But then he’d looked away.
It didn’t matter.
I closed my eyes tightly.
It doesn’t matter,I told myself, willing it to be true.
There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. I’d been trying to think of what could happen with us.
Us.
I’d never had an “us” before. Talon and Nidori were something unknown, something new. Because, with them, I didn’t feel like everything sucked.
I felt like someone.
I didn’t want to lose them.
“Kaine?” Talon called. I opened my eyes, starting forward, my smile slipping back on my face.
He had turned around to come looking for me.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
I sniffed. “I think you mean, where didyougo? Nidori made it pretty clear you have unnaturally large legs. I’m sure you didn’t even notice how fast you were going.”
He looked at me, guilt in his large eyes. My insides twisted uneasily.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll slow down a bit.”
“Talon, you really should be more careful,” scolded Nidori.