I was getting sentimental. Usually, I didn’t think about these things all that much. I liked to live in the present so that I didn’t miss out onwhat was going on around me. It was March fifteenth, though; the one day I let myself feel it.
Most years, I gave myself the day off. Sometimes, I drank. It wasn’t some ‘woe is me, my parents died’ sort of thing. Grief wasn’t something I drowned myself in. This was the day my parents had died, but I also used it as a release from anything that was going on in my life. I tried to be a positive person, so I had to leave my shit at the door most of the time. Ergo, I had a day where I allowed myself to be a problem- within the confines of my own home, of course. Whether it was anger, sadness, or any other emotion, I let it consume me, then I moved on.
I didn’t know if it was technically a healthy thing to do, but it worked for me. My dad did something similar by taking a camping trip by himself once a year. He didn’t talk to a single person, even me and my mom, and he simply allowed himself to exist in the world without society, responsibilities, or commitments.
Bringing a beer to my lips, I looked down at the text I’d received.
West:I’m bored and my sister is avoiding me.
Can you come over?
I wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t like I had an obligation to be part of the real world today, but… No, it was one day.
Lincoln:Not today. How about a movie tomorrow?
West:Oh. Ok.
He’d be fine. Maybe I’d show up in the morning with food fit for a child given free reign at the grocery store. Food and sex were surefire ways to make him smile.
I tapped my nail on the bottle slowly. ‘Oh. Ok.’ Was that the West equivalent of ‘K’? Would taking a day to myself activate his fear of abandonment? I grabbed the phone again, unable to stand the idea of that happening.
Lincoln:I miss you. It’s just not a good day.
West:I can make it better. Need me to kill someone? I’ve got you, polpetta.
Lincoln:… Do I want to know?
West:Look it up. I can’t do everything for you.
After plugging the word into Google, I chuckled. The funny endearments didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. It was my own fault for starting it.
Lincoln:See you tomorrow, cucciolo.
West:I’m not a puppy.
Lincoln:But you’re so cute and you yap when you don’t get enough attention.
He sent a long string of emojis to let me know he didn’t appreciate that. Briefly, I contemplated going over there but decided against it since I was on my third beer. After I finished it, I tossed it into the recycle bin and shut off the light. I didn’t have any desire to mope or drink. Instead, I’d take a long shower and go to bed early.
Self-care, right? It might also be because I intended to wake up pretty damn early. I prided myself on being a sweet, caring boyfriend-ish person.
Chapter 33
Lincoln
I swear to god, Kai was an angel. All I had to do was text him saying that I wanted to pop in and he told me he’d place a key under the mat since he’d be in class and Sen was at work. Willow was hit or miss and I was pretty sure she’d been spending some nights with Rick. West didn’t have classes on Fridays, so I was positive he’d still be sleeping.
Balancing the two coffees and a box of donuts wasn’t easy while I crouched to pick up the key, but I managed it. Once I was inside, I deposited everything on the counter and took a breath.
I didn’t have anxiety, but I was prone to getting anxious about some things more than others, which was why I’d woken up so early to come here. Some crazy fool with an attitude problem had me overthinking last night all because I was worried he’d feel abandoned. Logical? Maybe not, but I was past questioning it.
I opened his door and stopped just inside the room. As usual, he was sleeping on his stomach and the blankets were only covering one side of his body. His foot was mostly off the bed, which was psychopath behavior. With his soft snores and the way his face was squished against the pillow, he was downright adorable.
Carefully, I crawled in beside him. I kissed his neck, then moved to his ear, pressing my lips behind it. He let out a little moan and turned his face away from me. Moving my hand underneath the blanket, I trailed my fingers down his abs. He really didn’t have any right being this fit when he ate the way he did. I wasn’t complaining, though. I loved his body.
When I traced his pelvic bone, he sucked in a breath and whirled around. I caught his wrist in the air, already expecting violence.
“Christ,” he grumbled. “I thought you were an intruder trying to take advantage of me.”