Page 41 of Resist Me

My teeth rolled over my tongue in concentration and my body swayed slightly. When I was younger, I asked my mom why she moved so much while she was playing and she told me that it was the soul of the music traveling through her, using her body as a conduit, and she was just the vessel. That was bullshit, but I liked the idea now.

There was a hell of a lot more to playing, but it really did make a difference when youfeltit. I’d been playing since before I could speak. Recognizing a note sometimes came quicker than registering the words that came out of someone’s mouth. I was in the music as much as it was in me and, if I wanted to get super sentimental, I could imagine that every note carried a tune my parents once played. When I was lost in the midst of a composition, they were still alive.

When I finished, my fingers remained on the keys for another few moments as I caught my breath. I wasn’t exerted, but putting your soul into a piece sometimes had a way of making you emotional.

“I’m impressed,” Mickey said, coming around to lean against the piano.

Mickey was one of the professors within the music department. He taught music theory among other things and he was considered the expert when it came to piano. He could also kill it on violin, which wasn’t my favorite instrument, but if someone put one in my hand, I’d show them what I was made of.

“La Campanella isn’t an easy one to master,” he went on. “Although, I’m not surprised. You’ve never disappointed in the past.”

“What can I say? I’m a musical prodigy.”

He chuckled. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The tempo in the middle gets a little muddled. I think you’re getting lost in your head. You pull yourself out, but you have to stay with it consistently.”

Biting my lip, I nodded. Sometimes, it felt like no time passed at all while I played through a song but other times, I could feel the minutes drag on. I was lost in it a bit ago, but apparently, not enough.

“I have over a month to perfect it,” I said, getting to my feet.

“You know, you don’t have to play this composition. Your admission to the program is all but guaranteed already. Even if you do play it, you’ll impress them with what I just heard.”

With a tight-lipped smile, I shoved the book into my backpack. “Can Professor Rusch play it?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m going to knock his fucking socks off.”

Mickey laughed. “Alright, Lincoln. Practice it every day. When you think you’ve got it, record it, and listen to it critically. But don’t be so hard on yourself that you stop feeling it, yeah? Once it becomes a chore, that lack of passion can be heard by anyone with an ear for it.”

“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

I left the room feeling somewhere in the middle of discouraged and hopeful. Not for the first time, I wondered if it had been a mistake to play football for so long. It took hours of my time, which could have been focused on fucking La Campanella. When I thought about it, though, I didn’t regret what I’d done up to this point. If I’d been only focused on music, I might have devoted too much of myself to it and lost sight of the other areas in my life.

Getting into this program was the most important thing and, like Mickey said, I likely wouldn’t have any issue accomplishing that. The way it happened was what I wanted control over. This wasn’t about impressing Professor Rusch or Mickey so much as it was about proving something to myself.

My mom could play anything. She lived and breathed music her whole life, but she’d always made sure that I knew my future was my own. My parents met in college through their love of music and, truthfully, I’d never wanted to do anything else. To me, if I could get into this program through my mastery of this particular composition, I’d be worthy of the future they envisioned for me. The degree led toa job, but it was also my link to them. And I knew they’d be proud. I just needed to find a way to be proud of myself too.

Chapter 16

West

“Well, if it isn’t my dear baby sister.”

Willow dropped her suitcase in the entryway and grinned. “I was pulled from the womb first, thank you very much.”

“That’s because I’m a gentleman,” I said, barely restraining my smile. When she narrowed her eyes at me, I jumped up from the couch and wrapped my arms around her.

“You made me ride with a stranger,” she whined.

“Sen isn’t a stranger. I told you me and Kai would be in class when you landed.”

“You could’ve taken the day off.”

“Just to drive you home from the airport? Nah, you’re fine. Besides, I’d trust Sen with my life.”

He dropped the keys on the counter with a soft smile. “There’s also the little problem of your suspended license.”

“Yeah, yeah. Drop it already.”

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