Page 54 of Vicious Savage

Luna’s eyes meet mine, an edge of concern laced in them. She’s worried about us. About her brothers, but also about us. And she feels helpless.

“We can’t afford to be worried about you when we’re there,” I tell her, pushing off the sofa I’m leaning against. “Cesar and I will go. We’ll leave in a few hours once the flight plans are lodged.”

I look toward Gabriel as he starts to say something. I know he’s going to offer to come with us, but I can’t have that either. “You need to stay with your sister,” I tell him. “I need someone that’s totally invested in her safety to watch over her. Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Such as try to sneak off or grab a gun and kill a man.

55

LUNA

Sometimes it’s easier to be told what to do, to have someone make all the hard decisions for you, than to have to make them yourself. The decisions have always been made for me. My life was mapped out for me even before I was born.

I am a girl born into a world ruled by men — Castillo men — my every move dictated by a man who raised me under a veil of betrayal. My mother betrayed him. So he killed her. Effectively killing me.

He dictated every step of my life, down to what I should wear and how I should behave. Who I should marry… That was the one decision I would not live by. I wouldn’t marry a man of his choosing, and I did not. Instead, I ran away. As far away as I possibly could, which wasn’t very far, considering he found me easily enough.

My father was betrayed in more ways than one. By my mother, who cheated on him because he may not have been much of a husband. By my brothers, who helped me run away; their stipulation that I don’t make contact otherwise he’d find out and kill us all. By me, who ran away without a backward glance, deserting him. Even the maid betrayed him every time she contacted me from a payphone to let me know that he was getting closer. This last time, I have learnt, he told no one and made the trip himself, and that was the reason he was able to find me.

He was a cruel and malicious man — yes, I still refer to him as my father, because effectively, he was my father. He was the man that raised me, the man I considered my father for twenty-five years. Something inside me hurts when I think of all the ways he hurt me. But I won’t lie and say his loss doesn’t hurt more. It hurts like a bitch. Because he may not have been the best father, but he was my father. And he was there.

I don’t voice my feelings, because I know it might come off as crazy, that I would still have a smidgen of love left in me for the man. But crazy as it seems, he was still my father and I can’t just shut off my feelings. I’m only human.

A thin film of sweat coats my skin; I brush the towel against my face and down my arms as I turn away from Gabriel and pick up my water bottle. Gabriel. My brother from another father. He’s soft spoken and resilient, a quiet strength hidden beneath the surface. He moves away from the boxing bag and comes to stand beside me as I catch my breath.

“You’ve had a rough few weeks,” he reminds me. The standard of my training just know proves I’ve lost some of the zest that he knows lurks within me. I’m a fighter by nature. I’m fearless. And I’m adept at figuring situations out.

“I don’t like that I can’t control this situation,” I tell him, rubbing my palms together. My muscles ache with the endless kicks I sent flying into the bag. Gabriel stretches a soothing hand to my arm. This can’t be any easier for him than it is for me, not knowing what the future holds for us.

“Just let go, Luna. Trust that Cesar and Attila will find them.”

“I still feel like I need to be there for them. What if they’re hurt? I’m their sister; I need to be there.”

He shakes his head and tells me I’m only going to be one additional thing for the men to worry about.

“Let’s go in — they’ll be leaving soon. We should at least say goodbye.”

After Attila refused to let me go to Mexico with them, and Cesar concurred, I had gone up to the roof to let off some steam. It had helped, but now the worry is starting to set in. Especially as Maria is no longer answering her phone; the gnawing fear that something is terribly wrong only heightens my anxiety, and I know it won’t disappear until the mystery of my missing brothers is put to bed once and for all.

I traipse down the hall between the bedrooms until I’m standing in the open doorway of Attila’s bedroom. His back is to the door as he stuffs clothes into an overnight bag. He turns when I rap my knuckles on the door and fixes his ice blue eyes on me. Attila has beautiful eyes, but when he’s angry, they’re more like the fathomless sea during a thunderous storm. He turns back to what he’s doing as I step into the room.

“I would’ve thought you have someone to do your packing,” I start. “Need help?”

“All done.”

He zips the bag and lifts it onto a nearby chair, ready to grab it as he leaves.

“When do you leave?”

Attila checks his watch and tells me an hour. He’s dressed in fatigues and a black t-shirt that clings to the hard ridges of his upper body like a second skin. He’s all set to leave. Ready and waiting for the word that the jet is fueled and ready to whisk him off to his destination. To certain danger. They don’t even know what they’re walking into. They’re going in blind.

“I need you to promise me you won’t leave this building,” he says, fixing me with a hard stare. He’s angry. Why is he so angry?

“Nadia’s coming. I thought we could see the sights.”

He shakes his head, adamant in his resolve. I’m not, under any circumstances, allowed to leave the building, he tells me. This is the safest place for me to be; every inch of the block is covered by soldiers and he doesn’t want to get a call that I’ve defied him. Defied. Him.

“That’s a strong word, don’t you think?”

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