Page 6 of Feel Free to Scream

"Fuck. Sorry." My sister pouts.

I tilt my head. "Whatever for?"

"Well, you clearly have a crush on the girl. You must be disappointed."

I look at her. Six years and ten months. That's how long she’s lived with us. I don't technically live here, staying at the Vesper House during the academic year, but I make a point of coming every week, as often as possible, to hang out with her and Octavia.

She knew I'd get Claire’s information. She guessed I'd planned to see her again. And she really thinks I'll let such an inconsequential obstacle stop me?

I smile. "I don't see a ring on it."

And even if I did, it's not all that hard to remove a tiny little piece of jewelry. With the right incentives.

3

CLAIRE

Iroll my eyes at the text exchange so far tonight.

Noah: How much????

Me: 150. I bought everything I needed for school, and had some money to spare to get myself a new charger and phone case, too.

Noah: That's insane. Who buys a fifty-dollar notebook and spends all that on a complete stranger?? I don't like it, Claire. That kid's uncle was into you, I bet. Did you encourage him?

Me: Don't be ridiculous. I did something nice for Octavia, and they wanted to do something nice for me. When I said I couldn't afford the notebook, he guessed, rightly, that I don't have much money, that's all. People are rich-rich in this town. It was just spare change for him, I bet.

Noah: People don't give away 200 bucks for nothing.

Me: They do, every day, actually. It's called charity.

Noah: So you're fine being a charity case now?

Me: I helped them. They helped me. That's not charity.

I sigh into my pillow. When Noah tries to call, I ignore it.

Noah and I have literally been together forever. He's the grandson of my grandma's best friend, Hilda. As there weren't many children in her circle, my grandma made sure we played together all the time, so I'd have a friend growing up. We shared a toddler pool, learned to write together, and when we were fifteen, he kissed me. We just made sense.

Noah's studying art at Michigan State University. I applied there too, but it was the backup of my backup school, while for him, it was always the plan. His dad lives inEast Lansing, so he could stay there, save money, and work on his sculpture.

He was not impressed when I said I'd leave for California, despite the fact that Rothford gave me the academic funding equivalent of a red carpet. Staying close would have been more expensive for me. We still argued about it for days. In the end, I thought it would be best to part ways at that point, because he's right: a long-term relationship for years would suck. But the moment I mentioned it, he cried, apologized for arguing, and assured me we could make it work.

I still wasn't sure. His first point wasgood. But my grandmother sat me down and proceeded to tell me that I'd be a massive bitch for dropping the one boy who'd always had my back just to move on to bigger and better things in Thorn Falls—not in so many words, but the meaning was there. She was right, naturally. And I hadn't wanted to break up with Noah to find a new boyfriend; just to give us some space and room to grow while we were apart. If we were meant to be, wouldn't we find our way back to each other?

"He's been patient with you. He promised he'd wait until your wedding night, like a gentleman," my grandmother reminded me, staring me down. "He's a good boy. The best. And you'd risk that, in the off chance you might find a better one?"

"I don’t—" I stuttered. "I don't want to find some guy. I'm going to the best school to study, and get a good job. Earn a good living. And that happens to be over five hours away. Neither of us can afford frequent round trips."

All my reasons felt like feeble excuses. So, I just dropped it.

I've been away for a week, and I'm already dealing with a headache over my actions.I'm glad I didn't tell him Darius Keller was young, and rather handsome, too. I would never hear the end of it. As I was speaking about a roughly six-year-old kid and her uncle, I know he pictured a middle-aged man. I'm probably a shitty girlfriend for not giving the details, but it's not worth the argument.

I mostly told him about my day to gush over my new notebook, and it turned into a wholething.

He wasn’t jealous back in school. He was popular, as a hockeyplayeralso excelling in art, while I was the weird loner nerd always studying. But since that first argument about my going away, he's been territorial as hell.

It's not just that I don't like it, I also don't get it. There have been girls drooling over him for ages and I never cared. Why would it matter, evenifsome stranger had spoiled me with dubious intent? I wasn't going toacton it.

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