Page 45 of Feel Free to Scream

Cool, cool.

The dark slate bathroom is gorgeous, with a free-standing claw foot tub right at its center. White foamy bubbles almost reach the top already. Smoothly, Keller lowers me into the warm, fragrant water, his face so very close I can no longer escape his eyes, fixed on me.

I can feel his breath against my lips. Can he tell how hard my heart’s beating?

But once I’m immersed, Keller stands up and turns on his heels.

“I’ll get your bag,” he announces, leaving me flushed and embarrassed and thoroughly angry at myself.

After what he did to me yesterday, I shouldloathehim, not look into his gorgeous, cold eyes and wish his mouth could get a little closer. What the hell is wrong with me?

Your problem is you liked it,a little voice whispers.You liked it, and you want more.

I lower my entire face under the surface of the water, willing myself tonot think.If that’s what my brain can come up with, it needs to stop.

I am so fucking messed up. Especially since he’s no longer interested. I am completely naked, at his mercy, and he just left.

He got what he wanted yesterday and is done with me. Not that I actually want tokeephis attention. He’s insane. Not only has he fucked me—there’s no other word for it, regardless of the intact state of my hymen—in exchange for letting me stay in school, but the night before, he also kissed me in exchange for money—for my grandmother, but same difference.

Keller is absolutely not a normal person. I should begladhis attention is no longer on me, given how much he’s screwed with me in two days.

Come to think of it, everything, down to my expulsion, is his fault. None of it would have happened if he hadn’t set his eyes on me, and invited me into his crazy world.

He’ll find someone else to fuck, and fuck with tomorrow, and it’s agoodthing, I firmly tell myself, refusing to analyze why my heart contracts uncomfortably.

The sooner my life goes back to a semblance of normalcy, the better.

19

KELLER

She looks good in my tub. She looked good in my bed. I have come to the conclusion that Claire always seems like she’s right at home, so long as she’s in my space.

Her eyes are closed as she enjoys the bath, so relaxed I wonder if she’s asleep. I consider joining her, but choose to leave her to it today. She’s still skittish and besides, I just took a shower.

Next time, little ghost.

“I have your bag,” I tell her.

Her eyes flutter open, unfocused for a bit. Was she really sleeping?

“Oh, great. Could I have my phone?”

I frown. “Not in the bath. Just because I call you little ghost doesn’t mean we should hasten your demise and make the description more accurate.”

“I’m not going todiein a bathtub,” she retorts with an eye roll.

“Yes,” I agree. “Because you’re not going to get your phone while you’re in it.”

Claire’s little mouth pouts, and I wonder if she’s often told no. Doubt it.

With a sigh, she sits up. “Fine. I need to check what the faculty said. Would you turn around? I’m getting out.”

I laugh. “In case it escaped your notice, I’ve seen it all before.”

I love how easily she blushes. It extends past her face to her chest and neck, coloring the ridiculously pale complexion.

“Can I have a towel?”

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