Page 25 of Feel Free to Scream

She’s not moving. Fuck. I should have told Lily sooner. Why was I so slow? I am never drinking again.

Lily’s already tossed aside her jacket and bag, and dives in without hesitating, swimming underwater at the sort of speed I don’t usually see from anyone outside of watching the Olympics. In no time, she’s dragging the girl to the closest side. I run, making it at the same time they do.

I kneel to reach them, and take the girl’s arms, pulling her out of the water with all my strength.

“She’s not breathing,” Lily whispers, eyes fixed on the dark beauty.

She’s only wearing a slim dress, now soaked through, so it’s easy to see that her chest is completely still.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

My body on autopilot, I check her pulse, then move my hands to her chest, pushing it, until it’s time to breathe into her mouth. Again and again, I repeat the movements I’ve learned on mannequins. Never flesh.

It feels wrong. Too soft and warm and…

She’s not responding. She might be?—

No, Claire. It’s just practice. It’s just a person. You know how to do this. Don’t think. Don’t think don’tthinkdontthink, just fucking do it!

I’m shivering, my ears ringing so much I barely register Lily’s cries. Until the still, immobile body convulses, rolling to the side. The girls coughs out water from her mouth and her nose, I think.

Oh my god.

I sit back on my ass, still cold and numb and shivering.

Oh my god.

11

CLAIRE

Ihave no idea how long I stay numb for. Minutes, hours. By the time feelings return to my body, an ambulance is here, loading the girl onto a stretcher. She’s unconscious.

Lily’s silently crying as we both watch.

There are police cars, too, and a small crowd has formed. I don’t know how I didn’t notice.

“That was awful,” I whisper, my heart still pumping fast.

“Yeah. That poor chick.”

“Do you know her?” I ask.

Lily shakes her head. “Not really. I mean, I’ve seen her around, so maybe she’s a student? I don’t know. She was fine, right? The medic said so.”

I’m glad she was aware enough to take in that information. I certainly wasn’t.

“But she could have died. For a minute there, she was dead,” I reword. “She wasn’t breathing when we got her out.”

“Yeah. Good work on the CPR, by the way. You’re definitely a handy roommate to have around.”

Lily hugs me a little, likely because she can tell I need it.

“I think I need to tell Cross.” Lily grimaces. “I mean, this is his house. He’ll be a huge dick, if he finds out I was here and didn’t tell him. Do you mind if I give him a quick phone call? Won’t be long.”

I do. I do mind. I don’t want her to leave me alone tonight. But it’s stupid and selfish, so I say, “Of course.”

She steps away, already snapping as she talks to the man on the other end of the phone.

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