Page 68 of Until the Ink Dries

The moment I finished, I burst into tears. My father wrapped his arms around me, allowing me to cry on his shoulder the same way I did for Charlie. My shoulders shook with the force of my emotion. Reality had finally set in. Tonight could have ended worse than it did.

“I could have lost her, pops! I could have lost her, man, and I just stood there!” I cried. “I failed as a man and as her father?—”

“Listen to me,” he interrupted me and pulled back so I could look into his eyes.

His eyes glistened with tears matching mine.

“Fathers don’t have all the answers, son. You did what was best. If you had flown off the handle with her, what impression would that have made on Charlie? I know it was a scary situation and as a man in those kinds of situations, it can rock your ego. But, you put your daughter over showing you could overpower a woman. I couldn’t be more proud to call you my son. Your actions also saved my heart and your mother’s. You and Charlie mean so much to us. Charlie’s life wasn’t the only one on the line.”

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“You saved your own life, too.”

I heard what he was saying, but it was still hard for me to see the bright side.

“It was all my fault, though, pops. If I hadn’t forced her to keep Charlie?—”

My dad shook his head, stopping any other words.

“No sir, what I will not allow you to do is have a pity party. If you didn’t fight for that little girl up there, we wouldn’t have that sweet spirit to brighten all our lives. You can’t control the actions of someone else. You’ve been very clear with Tierra. You know I don’t get into the ins and outs of your situation, but your mother tells me. This incident lies on only one person’s shoulders and that’s Tierra’s. She is fighting her own demons. The only thing you can do is put things in place to keep you and Charlie safe. You let that go, because after tonight, pity is no longer allowed.”

I heard him loud and clear. He pulled me back into his chest and held me like he used to when I was a child. I hadn’t realized my mother came into the room until she began rubbing circles onto my back. I don’t know what I would have done without them, but I am blessed that I didn’t have to figure it out. I silently thanked God for allowing my daughter and me to make it to another day. Then, finally, for the parents he loaned me to; without them, starting over didn’t seem like a hill I could get over.

But for Charlie, no hill was too high.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Iwas beginning to feel a bit anxious.

A few days had passed since Ellis showed up and showed his ass. I wouldn’t have been worried if I had heard anything from Benjamin, but he’d been radio silent. He didn’t return my calls or texts. I went by the shop, and it was closed. I went by his place, and he never answered the door.

Had I fucked up that bad?

Was he upset with me?

My mind was racing with every negative thought. I wasn’t supposed to come home and build this amazing connection with this man. I wasn’t supposed to get close to his child or sleep with him. Shit just happened.

My mother’s words played over and over in my head. I had to be firm in my words and my intentions. Maybe I did give Ellis false hope that there was room for reconciliation between us. It had to be something for him to show up here on some get back shit. If it wasn’t clear then, it was certainly clear now.

For days, I’d been wallowing in self-pity. Me and my room had become besties. When I wasn’t sulking, I was working to keep from sulking. Today, however, nothing I did seemed to distract me. I was about to be in this house alone because my parents were taking a day trip. I could already feel the walls closing in around me.

Closing my laptop, I sat back and blew out a breath. Running my hands down my face, I relaxed into the chair. That relaxation was short-lived when my bedroom door opened and Shirah walked in. I looked over my shoulder to find her staring at me.

“Girl, get your ass up,” she said, hands on her hips.

“Shirah.”

“Willow.”

I turned to fully face her. “What?”

“You’ve been having this funky little attitude for days now, and I don’t like that. Don’t let Ellis coming here fuck up your mood.”

“Fuck Ellis. This isn’t about him.”

“Then what is it? Benny?”

I nodded. “He’s not speaking to me, Shirah. I really think I fucked up.”

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