Page 64 of Until the Ink Dries

“The way you just acted… the way you treated that man… Ellis, that was disgusting. You are every bit of your mother, and I will never be with you again. When I get back, I’m packing up every belonging of yours at my house, and I’m putting it on the porch for you to pick up. Whatever you have of mine, keep it. I don’t want it and I don’t need it. As a matter of fact, everything you gave me will be in that box, too. I don’t want anything tying me to you.”

“Willow, please… baby, I’m sorry!”

“You are sorry! You’re a sorry excuse for a human being! I’d never degrade someone you know the way you did Benjamin. He’s a good man and a good person, but you wouldn’t know that. You judged him off his appearance and preconceived notions, just like your mother did me.”

I shook my head as I paced back and forth. The more I got off my chest, the angrier it made me.

“You know… I thought time apart would have made you think about the reason I left you in the first place. I thought it would make you take a long, hard look at the shit you needed to change about yourself, not just for me, but to be a decent fucking human being. It didn’t. You came here and showed your natural, ignorant black ass.

“Congratulations. You lost me for good. You wasted your time and money coming here. Leave. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m done.”

I didn’t give him a chance to say anything or defend himself before I stormed away and into the house. The glares from my parents met me at the door. I tried to brush off my embarrassment and head upstairs but my mother called me.

“Willow Simone Dawson, get your ass back here.”

I paused, tossing my head back with a groan. Slowly, I backtracked to the living room where they were. She pointed at a chair, quietly telling me to sit my ass down, so I complied.

“I try to stay out of your business because you’re grown, but that…” she said, pointing at the door. “That is exactly what I was telling you. You can’t be out here opening new doors when you haven’t fully closed the old ones.”

“Mommy, I broke up with him before?—”

“Apparently, he didn’t get the message, Willow!”

She raised her voice, and it made me shrink into the chair like a child. My mother was soft-spoken, but when she had to raise her voice, I knew she meant business.

“You gave that man some sort of hope that there could be a resolution between you two. That’s why he brought his ass here. Maybe you meant that it was over, but you didn’t fully stand on that. That, my love, was your mistake. There is nothing wrong with you entertaining this Benjamin. He seems to make you happy. But baby, when you’re dealing with men, you have to be clear with your words and your intentions. Some of them, just like women, have fragile egos. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because you didn’t say exactly what you meant and stood ten toes down on it.”

“I know,” I said, swiping a tear from my eye. “I’m sorry for bringing my drama home.”

She nodded. “Just fix it. By the look on that young man’s face, you have more than one thing to fix. And when you fix it… invite him over for dinner. I’m not going for him coming to my house too many more times and not being introduced.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She turned to my father. “You have anything to add, Willard.”

“Nope. You said it all, dear.”

She sat back and crossed her legs. “You can go,” she said.

I sat there for a moment before standing, feeling like a child being dismissed after a good scolding. Slowly, I stood from my seat and made my way to the stairs. I fought back tears as I ascended them. The moment I made it on the other side of my door, I broke.

I needed to hear her words to put things into perspective.

So much could have gone wrong, and I was just thankful that Benny kept his composure as best as he could. I’d never forgive myself if he’d fought Ellis because Ellis was the type of person to call the police. Benny had a child… a child I cared for deeply. I couldn’t put him in a position to be taken from her for any reason.

I didn’t wanthimto be taken from me, either.

I had to get my shit in order.

Iwanted to turn this damn car around, but I knew what this was when I went into it. I knew she had some kind of situation back home. If I’m being honest with myself, things here have gone too far. All I could do now was trust her father would protect her, if ole boy got out of hand. If the situation was different, things would have been handled differently.

I couldn’t get the look in her eyes when she asked me to go out of my head the entire drive. It wasn’t until I pulled into my parents’ driveway and my mother walked out with the brightest smile did things clear up. I released a breath, then got out of the car, heading for my mom.

“Hey, Ma,” I said.

Then, I leaned in to give her a hug and kiss on her cheek. When I released the hold I had of her, she never released hers. I allowed myself to take in the comfort she always brought me. She began rubbing circles against my back before pulling back.

“I can tell something is wrong. Take a walk with me. I haven’t done my daily walk.”

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