Page 62 of The Probability of Us

As I speak the final words, I lift up and drop back down—over and over. I don’t stop moving, not letting him make a single move or recover. I savor every little noise he makes and the way he freely gives himself to me—the way he surrenders himself to me.

I know he doesn’t give it lightly. I know it’s precious and delicate, and I know I will treasure it for as long as I live. His love. Him.

When he comes back to the current moment, he’s still breathing heavily. His hands ended up threaded in my hair and he kissed me as he fell apart with my name on his lips. He holds me like he never wants to let me go.

“Analise Summers,” he says between breaths. “There is not a single part of me that has not been yours since the moment I first laid eyes on you.” He kisses me before I can speak. “And I know I’ve been gone the past six years—I know I’m the one who walked away—but I never stopped loving you. I’ve had six years to think about everything I’d do if I ever saw you again. Six years to think about everything I wanted to do with you that I never got to.”

“I hope I haven’t seen it all already,” I tease and kiss him.

“How about we forget the reservation and I’ll show you more?” His arms wrap around my back and his lips bury into my neck. “We’ll be late by now anyway.”

“Not if we run.”

He laughs into my neck and tries to protest when I start to stand.

“How about we make the reservation, so we have the necessary energy for the rest of the night?” I smirk at him over my shoulder as I pull my dress back down after cleaning myself up, and toss him a wet washcloth to clean up with. I will never get over the way he watches me like he would be content if I was the only thing he ever saw for the rest of his life. The way he looks at me like I’m his reason for being alive.

I have to look away or wewon’tmake the reservation. “Besides, I’m only in this for the money, so I’d better get a free dinner out of it.”

He laughs then crosses the room and pulls me into his chest. “Itwouldbe a shame not to show you off to the rest of the world in this dress.”

He kisses me deeply before grabbing my hand and leading us, running through the streets of Hartford. And when he orders our favorite white wine for special occasions and toasts “To the most brilliant and beautiful woman in any room,” I feel cherished beyond belief.

I don’t think any two people smiled and laughed more than we did that night. As we ran hand in hand through the streets of the city where we first fell in love. As we solidified that love all over again.

Twenty-Four

DECEMBER 7 YEARS AGO

After lightly knocking, we slowly open the door and step into the middle of a party that has been in full force for a while now. Sterling’s been talking all month about how he’s going to make this the best New Year’s party since Warren leaves in a few days. I’ve been struggling to be excited about this since it marks him leaving. I’ve been holding out hope—avoiding buying a plane ticket to visit him—just in case he changes his mind and asks me to go with him.

But he still hasn’t, and I don’t know how to enjoy this night when it feels like a celebration of the end. But damn him, because every time he smiles and talks about his new job, I’m so fucking excited for him I can’t even be mad.

“It’s nice of you tofinallyjoin us,” Sterling says with a glare when we find him with Ali and Trent in the center of the room. Anyone semi-cool from work is here and there are a lot of familiar faces of some other frequent patrons of The Dizzy Acorn, but we only know them well enough to smile and wave in passing on our way to the core group.

“Sorry.” I try to convey the feeling in my face even though I didn’t want to show up at all. “I couldn’t decide what to wear.”

Which isn’t technically a lie, but it’s not why we were late. The issue was that with each dress I put on that was a no, Warren would take his time slowly stripping it off me and teasing me until I was at my tipping point. Then he’d pull away, smirking, and say “next” as I begged for his fingers or tongue to keep going just a little bit longer.

That happened over and over until I put on the dress I’m wearing now—a black, skin-tight tank dress with short sleeves, and an A-line mesh dress over top that, at first glance, appears black until any hint of light hits it, then it sparkles and shines. I saw it in his eyes when I walked out of the closet that this was the one. His eyes slowly moved down my body then back up and when they met mine again, they were as bright as a summer day.

He swallowed, and as if he couldn’t speak, he curled his finger in acome heremotion. He’d been sitting on the bed in nothing but his boxers like he’d been waiting for this moment all night. I slowly stalked across the room, heart racing in anticipation. I’d stopped caring what time it was long ago.

“Is this one coming off too?” I asked, and smiled when a huge, wild grin grew on his face.

He shook his head just as I got within reach. He reached out to grab me and pulled me down, flipping us over at the same time, so I laid on my back on the bed and he hovered over me. Steadying himself with one hand, the other dropped to my thigh and moved up my leg, pulling the dress up. I lifted my hips to let him pool the dress around my waist.

“I want you to keep this one on,” he said and then kissed me.

My underwear had been on the ground since the second dress, but now his joined it, giving him free reign to settle between my hips and slide right into me with one slow move. I groaned in relief, ready for what I’d been begging for all night. But when he started moving it was as slowly and lazily as the kisses he placed on my neck.

He was taking his time, like he planned to keep this up all night. And if I wasn’t about to lose my damn mind because of all the buildups and letdowns, I would’ve let him. But as his hands traced lines up and down my body I whimpered.

“More,” I gasped, barely able to think past all of the things he was doing to my body right now that were just shy of what I needed.

He hummed against my skin, pretending not to know what he was doing. I tightened my legs around his waist, trying to control the momentum but as I pulled myself flush against him, he lowered us back down to the bed, letting more of his weight push against me to keep me still.

“Warren.” I was practically crying by that point, but he just kept lazily kissing me.

---