Page 4 of Hate That Blooms

The words appear in the text bubble after I sent him a message, reaching out because it’s obvious by the way he stared at me in the hall today that he’s pissed. I know there isn’t much I can do to make the situation better, but I thought that if we could talk to each other about what happened, maybe he wouldn’t hate me. I mean, if our parents are in love with each other and end up getting married, we’d be some sort of fucked-up family.

Well, his message just now doesn’t make that seem likely.

I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, because I don’t hate you.

I type back, then I close out the conversation.

Why is he holding me responsible for my piece of shit-cheating father? I’m not blaming him for his mom convincing my dad to leave us so they could be together. After the finalization of my parents’ divorce, he packed up and left with her. From what my mom told me, they moved an hour away and are “starting over.”

It’s frustrating how he can’t separate me from my father’s actions and doesn’t understand that I’m just as hurt and betrayed as he is. It hurts my heart. I put my phone on its charger, then leave my room and head over to my mom’s. Her door is wide open, and she is sitting on her bed with my sister braiding her hair.

“Can I come in?” I ask, trying to hide the emotions that want to pour out. I don’t want to cry in front of my three year old little sister, though, so I suck it up.

“Gabby, Mama is giving me two braids, like you!” Mireya squeals, waving her hands rapidly as she rocks back and forth.

“Yeah! That’s so awesome, Reya. You’re so much prettier than me.” Mom beams at me. She doesn’t have to. I’ll always be here to help her out with Mireya.

Just another reason I’m pissed at my dad for what he did. With Mireya being on the spectrum and now that he’s dipped out, my mom has no one but me to help her. While Mireya is at school, she sleeps since she works the night shift as an emergency room nurse at the local hospital. To say she’s spread thin is a fucking understatement.

I take a deep breath, trying to push down the anger and frustration that have been building up inside me. It’s not fair that I have to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of my little sister and supporting my mom, all because my dad decided to cheat on her and leave. But I can’t dwell on that now.

I step into my mom’s room and find comfort in the familiar sight of her and Mireya. Despite everything, my mom always finds joy and strength in the simplest moments with my sister. It’s a reminder of why I need to stay strong, too.

I sit down on the edge of the bed, joining them as my mom finishes braiding Mireya’s hair. “You’re doing a great job, Mom,” I say, giving her a reassuring smile. She looks tired, but I can see the gratitude in her eyes. The least I can do is be here for her and Mireya.

“Mija, let me do yours now.“ She says this, patting the bed.

I scoot over, pulling Mireya in front of me so I can start some deep pressure compressions to get her relaxed for bed. Mom starts on my hair, and while she brushes my long black hair, I think about the hurtful message I received from Joaquín when I reached out to him. It’s frustrating how he can’t understand that I am not my father and that I am hurting just as much as he is. But I can’t let his words consume me.

Closing my eyes, I sigh, taking a moment to collect my thoughts. I won’t let his anger define me or make me doubt myself. I’m determined to rise above this situation and prove that I am not defined by my father’s actions. “So, I saw her son at school today,” I say, trying to make small talk about the situation without making it a big deal.

“Oh,” she replies, “how is he doing with everything?”

“I don’t think he is handling it well. He seems…angry.” I shrug.

Angry is an understatement.

“Just be kind to him,mija.”

I’m trying.

After my mom finishes braiding my hair, I give her a hug, holding onto her tightly. “We’ll get through this, Mom,” I whisper, my voice filled with assurance. She nods, her eyes glistening with gratitude and pride.

“I know we will,” she says, checking her watch. “Shit, I need to go. Do you think you can handle bedtime?”

“Yep. Just go, mom. I’ve got this.” I kiss her cheek and scoop up Mireya to get her in bed.

* * *

I pull into my parking spot at the school campus after dropping my sister off at school. My best friends Cora and Natalie are waiting for me by Cora’s car. Turning the car off, I reach for my backpack and get out. Just as I’m about to cross the parking lot, a car slams on its brakes, nearly hitting me, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut and scream. I open one eye and look at the car. It’s Thiago Hernandez and Nathan Moore, and sitting in the front passenger seat is Joaquín.

The look on his face says it all.

I’m frozen in place as he stares at me up and down. Thiago looks back and forth between us, then rolls down his window. “Look, this staring contest is great and all, but I need to park before we miss the first bell.”

I still don’t move. Cora yells at me from her car to come on.

Joaquín smirks, licking his bottom lip, and I watch as he rolls his window down. Sticking his whole upper body out, he yells at me. “Get out of the fucking way,Puta. Unless you’re stopping to ask if you can suck our dicks.”

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