Page 28 of Hate That Blooms

And fuck, I want to. How do I fight this hate that blooms inside me, festering like a wound that won’t heal? It’s keeping me from being the man I know I could be for her. I wish I had the strength to just stop and not hold her responsible because the rational part of me knows that none of it was her fault.

Why am I still so angry?

* * *

I’ve been up and working since four thirty this morning, and by eleven thirty, I’m beat. I sit on the tailgate of the work truck, eating my lunch, scrolling through the group chat with the guys. Thiago and Nate are talking about the party from the other night, the one where I didn’t drink and went to sit outside texting Gabriela as her mystery man.

Nate: Dude, I don’t even remember that chicks name... but her head game was so fucking good. Quín you missed out, dude.

Thiago: Dude, you would fuck anything that has a wet spot and a heartbeat. Swear to god!

Yeah I’ll pass. Bro, I am so fucking over work today. I don’t know how I am going to keep up working part time and going to school if they keep riding my ass like this.

Nate: Are they at least using lube when they fuck you?

Thiago: Got you bent over your tailgate just giving it to you!

Lol, Nope, no lube. Just straight giving it to me raw. So what’s up with you guys?

Thiago: Hey, so Cora said that Gabriela got into UCSD, that means she’ll be there with us. Cora hopes that you’ll be nicer to her now.

Why would I do that?

Nate: Let the bullying commence. Round two, fight!

Thiago: Grow the fuck up.

Gabriela is going to be at the same college as I am. What does that mean for her sister? How is she going to do all this on her own? The alarm on my phone goes off, signaling the end of my lunch break. Four more hours then I’m off for two days. I hop off the tailgate and slam it closed, walking to the cab of the truck and chucking my lunch pail in.

I meet up with dad at the big city park, and we work on a few broken sprinklers. A few guys from the power company are nearby fixing some lines, and it piques my interest. Once we finish up, I head over and watch what they’re doing.

“¿Qué pasa, hermano? (What’s up, bro?)” A worker calls over to me. I walk over and extend a hand to him.

“Just checking out what you guys do. Pretty awesome.” I nod, looking up at the guy strapped to the pole.

I turned my attention back to the worker who had called me over. “So, what’s the process like to apply for a position at the power company?” I inquire, eager to gather more information.

He takes a moment to think before responding, “Well, it starts with passing a series of tests to demonstrate your knowledge and skills. These tests cover areas like electrical theory, safety procedures, and practical application. If you pass, you can get hired with no prior experience. However, if you have a background in electrical engineering, it can give you an advantage. Not only will you earn a higher salary, but you’ll also have more job security.”

I nod, absorbing the information. Pursuing a degree in electrical engineering seems like a logical step towards achieving my goal. I’ve already been accepted into a four-year university, so I’ll just be ahead of the curve by knowing what my major will be.

“Thanks for the advice,” I say appreciatively. “I think I’ll seriously consider going to school for electrical engineering. It’s great to know that there are opportunities.”

The worker smiles and gives me a friendly pat on the back. “No problem, Mano. If you’re passionate about this work, go for it. It’s a rewarding career, and we’re always in need of dedicated individuals.”

Feeling motivated and inspired, I say goodbye to the workers and head back to my dad. As I walk, I can’t help but envision myself in their position, working diligently to maintain and repair power lines, ensuring the smooth flow of electricity to homes and businesses.

A solid career that would take care of a family. It probably has great benefits too. Something I’m sure Gabriela’s sister needs. Looks like a plan for the life I want with her is all coming together. Now I just need to work on my own shit to make it happen.

Chapter17

Gabriela

“Itold you to lose our number!” I shout into the phone, pushing the screen door open to head out into the backyard so Mireya doesn’t get woken up from her nap on the couch.

“Gabriela , please. You don’t understand how hard you’re going to struggle. I am trying to give you some fatherly, adult advice.” My father huffs on the other end of the line, and all I want to do is laugh in his face. Henowwants to give me fatherly advice.

“Vete a la chingada!(Go fuck yourself!) I hit the end call button and resist the urge to throw my phone across the yard. My ass finds the bottom step of the stairs as I drop down, and rest my head in my hands. I cry, as silently as I possibly can to not worry our neighbor, I let it all out.

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