Page 57 of Never To Forever

She narrows her eyes and snaps, “Do you really think you’re keeping your promise to Mom by breaking Marie’s heart over and over?”

“What? Marie told you…”

“Whatever you think, you’re not,” she continues, cutting me off. “This isn’t what Mom would’ve wanted at all.”

I bristle at her words, but ready to defend myself. “I know that you think I’m being ridiculous, but I’m just trying to do the right thing and honor Mom’s memory by keeping my distance from Marie. Mom thought of her as a second daughter… she would’ve been disappointed to know that I don’t think of Marie as a sister.”

Haven rolls her eyes and lets out a huff of breath. “Do you hear yourself? Yes, Mom treated Marie like she was part of the family, but that doesn’t make her your sister in any sort of capacity. Mom wouldn’t have wanted you to sacrifice your own happiness or cause Marie so much pain.”

Her words hit me hard. Marie said something similar the other morning and they shocked me then as well. Guilt and confusion roll through me, mixing together into a toxic sludge in my stomach. Slowly, I shake my head.

“A-a relationship with Marie would be a mistake. I’m supposed to protect her and look out for her. Not take advantage…”

“Being in a relationship with her wouldn’t mean you’re taking advantage of her,” Haven says, her tone gentler but still firm. “Garrett, just think about this for a minute, okay? Are you really taking care of Marie this way? Protecting her? Or are you causing more harm than good? Would Mom actually be happy with this situation?”

A part of me wants to latch onto what she’s saying and give into all the desire and want that has been building inside of me for Marie, but another part of me insists that I can’t. Crossing the line with Marie would be a betrayal of Mom, and I can’t just let that belief go so easily. It’s been such a defining aspect of my life since Mom passed. So many of my decisions have been made with that promise in mind.

The idea that I’ve misinterpreted what Mom wanted all this time is gut-wrenching.

Meeting Haven’s gaze, I say, “How do you know that’s not what Mom wanted?”

She frowns and shakes her head. “Mom only ever wanted us to be happy, Garrett. Come on, do you really think she’d be upset if you were with Marie? Hell, if you two got married, Marie would have been her daughter for real. I don’t think much of anything would have pleased her more.”

I can’t deny that Haven has a point there, and I hadn’t thought about that before. Have I really been so wrong all this time? Did I take Mom’s words too literally?

“Garrett, what do you want? Don’t think about your promise to Mom. Just tell me what it is you really want.”

The answer comes easily, it’s not something I even have to think about.

“I want Marie,” I confess softly.

Haven gives me a small, encouraging smile. “Does Marie make you happy?”

When I spend time with her, it’s the highlight of my whole day. Her smile is infectious, and the sound of her laugh is enchanting. Of course she makes me happy. Even though I’ve been riddled with guilt, the moments wrapped in her arms, her body pressed to mine, have been some of the most satisfying of my life.

“Yes,” I murmur. “She makes me happy.”

“Okay then, last question. If Mom were alive, would she be happy if you and Marie were together?”

I freeze as the question swirls in my brain. Fuck, it’s so obvious, isn’t it?

“She’d be thrilled.”

Haven’s right… Mom wouldn’t be upset at all if Marie and I were together. I can almost see her, happy tears in her eyes as she hugs us and tells us how much she loves the both of us.

My breath leaves me in a rush. Relief rushes through me, but apprehension as well. I’ve messed things up so badly… what if Marie has already given up on me?

“You need to talk to Marie,” Haven says, reaching across the table and taking my hand. “You need to tell her how you really feel.”

Looking at our entwined hands makes me realize how dumb I’ve been. Haven has always been there for me, and not coming to her sooner was stupid. Yet, I can’t help the doubt that plagues me. “What if she doesn’t believe me? She’ll think I’m just trying to stay close to her because of the baby if I show up and completely change my tune about the two of us.”

“Then you need to prove to her that you care about her as a person and not just because she’s having your baby,” Haven states matter-of-factly.

“How?”

She shrugs. “That’s something you have to figure out for yourself. What’s something that you could do that would leave no doubt in her mind that you have genuine feelings for her?”

“I-I’m not sure.”

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