Page 43 of Never To Forever

I chuckle, but my smile falters as my thoughts shift again. The joy radiating from her is genuine, and I’m happy for her, but there’s something gnawing at me. Something—or rather someone—she refuses to talk about.

“It’s going to be great,” I say, stepping toward the crib and running a hand along the smooth wooden railing. “You’re going to be a fantastic mom.”

“Thanks, Garrett,” she says softly, leaning against the rocking chair. “Being Oliver’s stepmom has been wonderful, but I have to admit, I’m nervous for there to be two kids in the house. I hope Christian and I can handle it.”

“You’ll be fine,” I assure her.

She gives me a sad smile and confesses, “I… I really wish Mom were here to give me advice and tell me everything’s going to be okay. I miss her so much.”

Tears slip out of her eyes and down her cheeks. I cross the room to wrap my arms around her in a tight hug.

“I know,” I say against her hair. “I miss her too. She’d be so proud of you, Haven, and I’m sure she’d tell you just how great of a job you’re doing as a mom.”

Haven buries her face against my chest and we stand like that for a while, seeking comfort from each other as we both feel the sting of our loss. At length, I gently pull back and smile down at her. Cupping her face, I brush away her tears with my thumbs.

“No more crying,” I tell her. “Mom would want you to enjoy this time. She’d want us both to be happy, right?”

She swallows and nods. “You’re right.”

I kiss her forehead. “I should get going and you should get some rest, okay? I’ll check in with you later.”

She releases a small sigh. “Okay. Thanks, Garrett. It’s hard to talk about Mom, even with Christian. Being able to admit how much I miss her is… soothing. You know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” My heart twists and I step back before turning for the door. “If you ever need to, you know you can always talk to me. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

“I know, Garrett.” She waves at me as I head out the door. “See you later.”

I make my way downstairs and through the hallway to the front door. As I’m passing a side table pressed up against the wall, I notice a gift bag decorated in pastel flowers and zoo animals. I pause, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Haven hasn’t come down the stairs to catch me peeking. Finding the gift tag, I turn it over. Marie’s name is written in black across the small white square. Carefully, I reach into the bag and pull aside the yellow tissue paper. I find a copy of the bookWhat to Expect When You’re Expectinginside. Thoughtful gift. Mariewouldgive Haven and Christian a book as a baby present.

I stare down at her name for a few moments longer, my chest aching and my stomach twisting with longing. Why didn’t Haven seem to want to talk about Marie? What’s going on there?

Sighing, I drop the gift tag back into the bag and continue onto the front door. Damn it… I miss her. A part of me wants to reach out to her and see how things are, but I’m admittedly nervous. I haven’t spoken to her since the night I walked her home from the bar and we kissed. I texted her the next day to make sure she was okay. She said she was, but that was it. Is she upset about the kiss? Does she even remember it?

Once I’m outside, I head for my truck. I should talk to Marie, but I can’t screw it up again, so I want to make sure I’m prepared before seeing her. I need to apologize properly and try to repair what I can of our friendship. Things won’t be the same, I know that, but I don’t want to lose her even if we can’t be together the way she wants. I’m supposed to have a PT appointment tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I’ll stop by the library afterward and see how she’s doing. That should give me plenty of time to come up with the right thing to say… whatever that might be.

Feeling more at ease now that I have a plan, I climb into my truck and take off down the driveway, feeling somewhat lighter.

For the first time since before my accident, it feels like things are finally falling into place for me. Everything is going right, and I’m going to do all that I can to make sure it stays that way.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

MARIE

The nauseajust won’t let up. Waking up in the morning has become a kind of torture because I just feel like shit, and it seems to get worse every day. I can hardly keep food or water down, and I’ve missed more work in the last week than the entire time I’ve been with the library. Meredith has also been getting frustrated with me since I keep telling her I can’t help with the kids and has been pushing me for a reason why I’m so sick - because it’s such an inconvenience for her - so I’ve been dodging her calls the last couple days.

Morning sickness shouldn’t be this bad. Is something wrong with me?

Ugh, I don’t want to get out of bed, but missing another day of work is out of the question. Leaving poor Kathy in the lurch so often lately makes me feel guilty, so I force myself to get up and get ready for the day.

I shower, dress, and try to eat something, but I can barely force down a piece of toast. By the time I’m ready to leave for work, my body’s exhausted, but I push through. I can do this. Staying at home and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make me feel any better. Getting back into my regular routine and adjusting to this pregnancy will help me feel better.

By the time I arrive at the library, I’m wishing I’d just stayed home. My stomach is rolling and I’ve almost thrown up about five times. When I walk into the library and get to the front desk, Kathy looks up at me, and then frowns in concern.

“Marie? Are you feeling better?”

“I’m feeling all right.”

“Are you sure?” She looks far from convinced. “If you need another day…”

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