Page 40 of Never To Forever

“I’m fine,” I assure her, nearly choking on the lie. “Just feeling under the weather, that’s all.”

“Oh, dear! Do you need to go home? I’d hate for you to feel like you have to work if you’re not feeling well.”

I give her a small smile. She’s such a sweet, understanding person. Not all bosses would be as concerned about me as she is.

“I appreciate that, Kathy, but I’m going to run to the pharmacy at lunch and pick up… medicine. I’ll be all right after that.”

“If you’re sure.” Kathy checks her watch and then looks around the library. There aren’t many people visiting today. “Why don’t you go ahead and take an early lunch? I’ve got things under control here.”

“Really?” My heart leaps and I have to fight to keep the eagerness out of my voice. “That’d be great, Kathy. Thank you.”

“No problem, dear.”

I gather my keys and purse and make my way out of the library. The drive to the pharmacy feels like it takes forever, but it’s only about five minutes away. Parking outside of the store, I take a few minutes to catch my breath and build up my courage to go inside. God, please don’t run into anyone I know in there.

Finally, I force myself to get out of the car and walk through the sliding doors into the pharmacy. I make a beeline for the pregnancy tests, keeping my head ducked, praying no one notices me. Grabbing three boxes of the first brand I find, I hurry to the cash register, pay for the test, and practically run out the door and back to my car.

Holy shit! That was way more nerve wracking than I expected. My stomach is rolling and I think I’m going to be sick again.

No way can I go back to work. I’m feeling even worse than I did this morning, and if the test is positive…

Fuck! I grab my phone and dial the library’s number.

“Blue Ridge Falls Public Library, how can I help you?” Kathy answers.

“Hey, Kathy. It’s Marie. I’m feeling even worse than before, so I think I’m going to take the rest of the day off if that’s all right?”

“Of course!” she replies. “It’s not a problem. You just focus on feeling better.”

“Thanks, Kathy.”

Once we hang up, I start the car and make the drive home. When I get there, I grab the test and hurry inside and up the stairs to my bathroom.

I open the test and sit on the toilet and… nothing.

Oh, God, I’m so nervous I can’t pee!

Shit, shit, shit. I turn on the sink and let the water run.

Think wet thoughts… streams… ocean waves… come on! Pee!

At last, I’m able to take the test, and then it’s just more waiting. I leave the test on the counter by the sink and pace the small room as I count down the three minutes until the results appear.

It’s all going to be okay. Realistically, what are the chances of me being pregnant? I think an average woman in her twenties has like 25% of getting pregnant every month, so really, what are the odds?

No amount of rationalization is helping my nerves, though. I continue to pace and start chewing at my fingernails in agitation. Finally, the timer on my phone goes off and I dive for the test. It takes me a few moments to comprehend what I’m seeing.

Two pink lines.

Oh, fuck.

They’re pretty faint, though. Maybe it’s a false positive?

I grab for the other tests and take a second one…and then the third.

I get two pink lines each time.

Slowly, I sink down to the bathroom floor, the tests clutched between my hands. I can’t tear my gaze away from those lines. Positive. It’s positive.

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