Page 66 of Never To Forever

I glance toward Garrett, who gives me a nod of encouragement.

Focusing on my Dad again, I say, “Look, I brought you here because I wanted to tell you I’m opening my bookstore, but I also wanted to tell you that I’m no longer going to be at your and Meredith’s beck and call.”

Frowning, Dad replies, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not going to be your free babysitter anymore,” I explain. “I love my siblings and I’ll always be there for them, but it’s not my job to raise them or care for them, it’s yours and Meredith’s. I’m going to have my own baby to look after, plus this business. It's been a long time since I actually lived my life. A long time since I dropped everything at a moment’s notice to cater to your every need.”

Dad appears stunned for several moments, staring at me with his jaw dropped.

At length, he sputters, “You’re being ridiculous, Marie. Family helps each other. That’s just how it is…”

“No, Dad,” I sigh. “That’s not how it is. You and Meredith don’t treat me like family. Not really. You drop the kids on me with no consideration for my feelings or plans, and then you exclude me from family events like I don’t belong at them.”

Furrowing his brow, he says, “Exclude you? How do we exclude you? You always make some excuse not to be part of things that we do.”

“That’s not true.” A part of me is relieved that he seems confused. Maybe keeping me out of things hasn’t been his idea. “The twins’ birthday? I didn’t even know it was happening until after the fact. Their soccer and baseball games? Ballet and music recitals? Holidays? No one bothers to tell me about these things, and if I do find out about them, Meredith makes it very clear that I’m not welcome.”

Dad’s eyes go wide and he stares at me for several moments before murmuring, “That’s…that’s not true. Meredith wouldn’t do that.”

“She does it all the time.” I let out a long breath and take a moment to gather the strength to say what I’ve needed to say to him for years. “Look, Dad, I’m glad you were able to find someone new after Mom. That you were able to keep living your life and build a family…I just wish you would have included me in it.”

“Marie, you’re my daughter.” The irritation has left Dad’s voice and a look of desperation passes over his face. “I never meant for you to be excluded…it…it’s just when your mom died, I didn’t know if I could go on without her. When I met Meredith, I was so happy and didn’t want to do anything to risk the life I could have with her.” He pauses and appears thoughtful for a moment before he shakes his head and softly says, “Maybe…maybe I did exclude you without realizing it. You just remind me of your mother so much, and every time I see you…it hurts.”

His words are like a punch to the gut, but even as I struggle with the hurt of his realization, there’s a part of me that’s relieved he’s finally acknowledging it. That means there might actually be hope of fixing this in time. Not today - no way in hell - but eventually, if he’s willing to keep his eyes open.

“I know losing Mom was devastating,” I tell him. “I know it changed everything for you, but you turned your back on me for Meredith and the kids. When I needed you most, you weren’t emotionally available to me, and you didn’t want to be. That’s the truth, Dad. That’s what I need you to recognize now.”

He doesn’t say anything for several moments, instead gazing around at the worn-down interior of the store again.

“Your mother loved this place,” he whispers. “She poured her heart and soul into it. Sometimes I was jealous that she spent so much time here, but I loved how happy it made her.” He brings his gaze back to me and for the first time in years, I feel like he’s actually seeing me. “She’d be proud that you’re going to bring it back to life.”

My heart twists and tears form in my eyes. I swallow the lump of emotion rising up in my throat. Dad never talks about Mom.

That little bit of hope inside me grows.

“I feel her here,” I confess. “More than anywhere else. I think by opening this place up again, I’ll be able to hold onto her more than I have before.”

Dad gulps and nods, dropping his gaze from mine again.

Clearing his throat, he says, “I…I need to go, but let’s talk more about this soon, okay? I…I want to make this right somehow, Marie. I don’t know how to do that right now, but I promise I’ll…I’ll try.”

Honestly, that’s more than I was expecting.

“Okay,” I tell him softly. “I’d appreciate that.”

He clears his throat again and fidgets awkwardly, moving from one foot to the next so he’s swaying slightly.

“Good bye,” he murmurs before hurrying toward the door and making his way outside. I watch him leave, and once he’s gone, I feel like I can breathe again.

“You okay?” Garrett asks, moving to stand beside me and placing his hand on my back.

I give him a tired smile and nod. “Yeah, I am. Thank you for being here…and for letting me handle it. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

He lets out a dry chuckle. “An understatement, but I’m proud of you for standing up to him. He needed to hear all that.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him, pressing my face into his chest.

“I needed to say it.”

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