Page 55 of Never To Forever

“I need you to leave.”

“What?”

“I need space right now,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. “I have to think about everything… alone. Please, leave.”

He hesitates and looks as though he wants to say something. A part of me hopes he’ll ask to stay and tell me how much he wants me, but he doesn’t.

Releasing a long sigh, he finishes getting dressed and leaves without a word.

* * *

Later that day, I drive to Haven’s house, my heart aching and confusion making my head foggy. After Garrett left, I texted Haven asking if we could meet, knowing she’s not working Saturdays. I need to talk to someone; my best friend. She might be able to help me sort through whatever it is that Garrett is going through. Why he would think his promise to their mom meant that he couldn’t be with me?

When I pull up to the house, Haven is already standing on the porch, waiting for me with a concerned frown. I park and get out of the car, rushing up the steps to her. She opens her arms and I throw myself into her embrace, careful not to disturb her belly too much.

“Hey,” she says, pulling back and cupping my face in both her hands. “What’s going on? Your text worried me.”

“Can we go inside and talk? Christian’s not here, is he?”

She shakes her head. “No, no, it’s just us. He had to go into the office, which I’m not exactly complaining about - he’s gotten used to me being pregnant enough that he doesn’t feel the need to constantly be around me. Oliver is taking a nap so we can talk in private. Come on in.”

Taking my hand, she turns and pulls me into the house. We make our way into the living and settle on the couch together.

Squeezing my hands, Haven says, “Okay, tell me… what’s going on?”

I don’t really know where to start, so I just take a deep breath and confess, “Garrett and I slept together last night.”

Haven’s eyes go wide. “You did? Is that… is that a good thing?”

“It’s a complicated thing.” I shake my head. “He told me why he’s so insistent that we can’t be together, though.”

“Oh! What did he say?”

I hesitate, choosing my words carefully.

“He said he made a promise to your mom… to care for me like he would you. Like a sister. He thinks if he’s with me… if he touches me, he’s breaking that promise.”

Haven arches her brows, looking stunned. Then she groans and shakes her head in obvious annoyance.

“First of all… that’s disturbing for him to even say that. Because he clearly got you pregnant, so to still see you like a sister. My brother clearly has fucking issues. That I’m going to have to work with him on. Second off, he’s a complete idiot sometimes,” she grumbles, running a hand over her belly. “He takes things so literally.”

“You don’t think that’s what your mom really meant?”

Haven rolls her eyes. “No, I don’t think that. Of course, Mom wouldn’t want the two of you to go through this turmoil. What she cared about most was that we were all happy and together. I have absolutely no doubt that if she knew you and Garrett had feelings for each other, she would want you to pursue them.”

I don’t know what to say. It’s a relief to hear her agree with me, but that doesn’t mean Garrett’s mind will change. He’s so determined to keep his promise as he understands it, that he's denying both of us what we really want… and I’m pregnant! I would think that would qualify as a good reason to put aside his hesitations and be with me.

And yet, he clings onto that promise. Too afraid to let his mother down than acknowledge my feelings, and his.

Shit… I’m never going to convince him that it’s okay for us to be together?

As if she can read my mind, Haven grabs my hand again and squeezes it.

“Hey, don’t worry,” she says firmly. “We’ll figure this out. I’ll talk to Garrett myself. Convince him that he’s misunderstood what Mom meant. You two are meant to be together, Marie. I know it.”

If only I had her confidence, but it’s getting harder and harder to convince myself that’s true. There’s no one in the world I want more than Garrett, but it’s not just the two of us anymore. I have to think of the baby and what will be best for him or her in the long term. How healthy would it be for my child to watch their parents dance around our issues like this? What will I tell them when they inevitably ask why I’m not with their father? Am I supposed to say that daddy doesn’t want to be with mommy because of a promise he made to their grandma before she died? That their father thinks loving me is wrong?

It’s a gut wrenching thought, and I can’t put either the baby or myself through that.

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