Page 51 of Never To Forever

Nodding, I say, “I am. Thank you for standing up for me. I really appreciate it.”

Honestly, it’s a relief not to have to deal with Meredith right now with everything going on. I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to her like that, so to have someone do it for me… to have Garrett looking out for my best interests… it’s refreshing.

He gives me a soft smile. “I told you, I’m going to take care of you. All you need to worry about is getting well and taking care of yourself and the baby, okay?”

And there it is again… that mix of emotions I’ve been feeling since he walked into my hospital room a few days ago and after finding out I was pregnant.

I’m grateful for what he’s doing for me. Taking care of me. Standing up for me. Making sure I’m focusing on my health and not putting too much stress on myself.

I’m also disappointed. I wish he was doing all this because he loved me. Because we’re a couple and planning a future together. Anticipating raising this baby as a happy little family.

Instead, we’re two people forced together by circumstances beyond our control. This isn’t at all how I thought things would end up for me. That I’d end up with the man I love, but not because he loves me back, but because he’s tethered to me for the rest of his life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

GARRETT

Over the next two weeks,I dedicate myself to caring for Marie, making sure she eats healthy meals that don’t upset her stomach, gets a good amount of rest, and makes it to all her doctor appointments.

We fall into a routine. Every morning, I arrive at her house early to prepare breakfast because her morning sickness is particularly bad when she first wakes up. I’m there to make sure she’s able to get out of bed and drinks plenty of water when she’s done being sick. When she staggers out of the bathroom, pale and teary-eyed, my heart twists and I want to do whatever I can to make her feel better. Seeing her so miserable ruins me, and it kills me that I can’t actually make her better.

My guilt eats me alive. I did this to her. She’s going through this awful sickness and facing an uncertain future because I couldn’t keep my desire for her under control. There’s nothing I can do to make up for what that, so I’m doing everything in my power to make her comfortable. Whether it’s running her errands or keeping her house tidy, I am her personal manservant.

It’s really the least I can do for her. She’s my responsibility now, as well as the baby. I’m not going to be the kind of guy who knocks up a woman and then abandons her because it’s easier to walk away than stick around. Is this how I imagined starting a family? No. Do I feel ready to be a father? Not at all. But it’s happening whether I’m ready or not, and I’m not going to leave Marie to deal with this alone.

One morning, I step inside the front door and can hear her in the bathroom upstairs. Rushing up the stairs, I find her kneeling on the floor, her head in the toilet.

“Marie? Are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look okay?” she growls without lifting her head. “Get out!”

“All right, all right,” I say, backing out into the hall. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me, okay?”

She doesn’t answer, but blindly feels around until she grabs a towel lying on the floor and chucks it at me.

I dodge it and hurry to go back downstairs. As I make my way into the kitchen to start her breakfast, I can’t help my small smile. Not because I find any pleasure in her misery, but because she’s comfortable enough with me to tell me to shove it. It’s weird, I’ll admit, but since I’ve started taking care of her, I’ve grown more attuned to her moods and have a better understanding of how her mind works.

Marie doesn’t let just anyone know what she’s really feeling. She’s so worried about being a burden to anyone else that she will put on a smile when she’s in agony to keep the people around her comfortable. If she’s vulnerable, she’s an inconvenience… at least in her mind.

She’ll be vulnerable with me. She’ll be cranky, sad, and honest about how she feels and what she wants. Does that mean she snaps at me when she’s upset? Yes, but I’m okay with it.

It means she trusts me to actually care for her.

I pull a carton of eggs out of the fridge and a skillet out of a cupboard. As I scramble the eggs, my mind wanders about what will happen once the baby comes.

It still hasn’t fully set in that I’m going to be a father, but I’m excited. Every day my excitement grows. I like the idea of being a father—playing with my kid, teaching them how to ride a bike, watching them grow into an actual person—I can’t wait for it all. There’s always been a part of me that’s wanted to have kids, admittedly, not in such a complicated way.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket, pulling me from my musings. With one hand, I stir the eggs while grabbing my phone out with the other. It’s an email from my school. My heart starts hammering as I open it and scan through the message.

Dear Mr. Young,

Congratulations!

We are pleased to inform you that you have successfully met all the academic and institutional requirements to graduate with your Bachelor of Science in Finance. This is a significant milestone, and we commend your dedication and hard work throughout your academic journey…

I stare at the email for several seconds, letting the words fully sink in.

Holy shit… I did it. I did it!

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