Page 45 of Never To Forever

The door swings open and in strolls a tall, older man with a head of thick silver hair and black square glasses perched on his nose. He comes to a stop next to my bed and I squint so I can read his nametag.

Dr. Taylor.

“Glad to see you awake, Marie,” he says with a smile as he looks me over. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore. Can you tell me what happened, doctor? Why did I collapse?”

“You’re severely dehydrated due to hyperemesis gravidarum,” he explains. “It’s a condition where you have severe morning sickness that lasts longer and is more debilitating than normal. I’m guessing you haven’t been able to keep a lot of food and fluids down?”

“Everything makes me want to vomit. I try to eat and drink, but it just makes the nausea worse.”

He nods. “I thought as much. We’re pumping you with fluids through your IV, so that will help your dehydration. I want you to stay here for a day or two so we can monitor you and make sure you’re able to retain some sustenance before we let you go, okay?”

“Okay,” I say, my heart sinking. The last thing I want is to be held up in the hospital, but I know I have to be careful. It’s not just about me anymore. I have to think of what’s best for the baby.

The doctor talks for a little longer, but I can’t really understand everything he says. I’m too tired and the throbbing in the back of my head is insistent on stealing my attention. Thankfully, Haven stays the whole time and appears to hang onto Dr. Taylor’s every word.

“I’ll be back to check on you later, Marie,” the doctor finally says. “You just rest and try to eat something if you can, all right?”

“I’ll try,” I assure him.

“Good.” He grins. “I’ll see you later.”

He leaves the room and Haven and I are silent as we wait for the doors to click shut behind him.

Turning back to me, Haven asks, “Do you think we should call Garrett and tell him you’re here?”

My heart seizes at the thought, though I know she’s just being reasonable. Garrett still doesn’t know anything about my pregnancy. Haven has been true to her word and hasn’t made a peep about it to him, which I know hasn’t been easy for her. She and Garrett share just about everything, and I feel guilty asking her to keep such a colossal secret from him.

However, I’m so angry with him still that I don’t even want to think about seeing him right now. He keeps disappearing on me, and I’m getting sick of it. He doesn’t want to talk to me for a week? Fine…I can handle this by myself.

Shaking my head, I reply, “No, no, I don’t want him to find out like this.”

She frowns. “When do you plan on telling him, then?”

“I… I don’t know. Soon.”

“Soon?”

“Yes, I promise, I’ll tell him, but I don’t want to tell him like this. Not when I’m feeling like crap and falling off of stools. It’ll only make him more upset.”

Haven hesitates, and I can tell she’s wrestling with this. I feel like such a bad friend for asking her to keep this secret for me. It’s shitty and selfish, and she hates lying to Garrett by omission. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t stand the thought of him getting angry with me, or feeling as though he’s obligated to be with me or something because of the baby. He’ll be a good father and he’ll love this child, but I don’t know what he’ll feel toward me. Frustration? Resentment?

If he hated me for this, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

At length, Haven sighs. “Okay, okay, I understand. I promised I wouldn’t say anything to him, but you have to know you can’t keep this from him forever.”

“I know,” I say. “I just need some time, but I will tell him. I swear.”

Giving me a small smile, Haven squeezes my hand again. I gaze up at her, grateful for her presence and for her support. At the same time, I can’t help feeling a little envious of her. She’s pregnant with the man she loves, and the two of them couldn’t be more thrilled. I’m pregnant with the man I love, and I’m dreading even telling him...because I don’t know if he loves me back. I’m going to have to. I know I will. Especially now that I’ve been so sick.

Blue Ridge Falls is a small town, and I’ve no doubt rumors will spread about why I’m in the hospital. Those rumors will reach my family, and I can already hear my dad’s lecture about being irresponsible and not thinking about the consequences of my actions. However, those rumors are also going to reach Garrett… I just hope he doesn’t grow suspicious.

He needs to hear this from me before anyone else, so I need to somehow find the courage to rip the bandaid off and tell him.

My stomach twists with nausea again, but this time, it’s not because of my morning sickness. It’s from the fear that I might push the only man I’ve ever loved away with the truth, but I have to tell him and take that risk whether I like it or not.

CHAPTER TWENTY