Page 77 of Saving Blood

The sound of motorcycles in the distance grows closer. Bolt and Diesel drop their kickstands and dismount their bikes. Smoke waves them over, but Blood remains quietly staring at Hector’s limp body.

His silence surrounds me. It frightens me.

Suddenly, he turns to Diesel. “Get this shit cleaned up.” Then he stalks toward the truck and slams himself into the passenger seat.

Smoke rests his hand on my shoulder. “He’s just pumped up.” He leads me back to the truck. “He’ll come around.”

I slowly shake my head. “No, I don’t think he will.”

31

MAXINE

I ride in the back seat of the truck to Tijuana in silence. Smoke and Blood exchange some mysterious words and phrases, sounding more like code than actual sentences, most of which I can’t hear or understand.

My emotions range from high elation to devastating depression, because, in the end, Hector won. His callous words were true, and I realized too late the mistake of keeping the truth about myself from Blood. A mistake I can’t fix or take back.

So many mistakes I would’ve changed. Not going to a nightclub underage, not going home with perfect strangers, but not telling Blood about my past with Hector wasn’t one of them. Even with the way it all turned out, I still wouldn’t have been able to bear that part of myself to Blood. To witness the pain and disgust in his eyes and to know I put it there would’ve killed me. I wasn’t brave enough to suffer that kind of hurt. Instead, I’d remember the time we shared together before my past poisoned our future.

I’d been through too much to trick myself into believing Blood would come around, as Smoke suggested. A man like him could never accept his woman was once forced into sex with his enemy. It would be too much for his ego, his pride, and in the end, we’d end up hating each other. If I could wipe away those horrific memories, I would, but wishing and dreaming doesn’t change the past.

When we reach The Tropics, I try numerous times to catch Blood’s eye, but he pointedly avoids me. He has a few words with Smoke, and I hear my name mentioned, then he stomps up the back stairs to his room on the second floor without a second look. The same room where I held him after Javi died—the same room where our emotions evolved into something more—something I never expected. I’d tried to warn him, then fooled myself into thinking all could be forgiven and forgotten, but I knew all along I was right—Blood isn’t strong enough to handle my life.

BLOOD

I slam the door behind me, then pace in front of the couch. I have way too much pissed-off energy jetting through me to sit. Hector’s death filled me with satisfaction—until reality hit, and his words ricocheted inside my head, his sneering face haunting me.

I pitch my phone onto the couch.

Fuck me, but I want to blast the fucker all over again.

Maxine witnessing Hector’s bullshit made it so much worse. It would be easy to blame it on Diesel not keeping eyes on Maxine and allowing her to show up. I could also just blow off Hector’s shit comments. Tell myself he was spitting bullshit, just trying to get under my skin. And it might’ve worked—until I looked into Maxine’s eyes and saw the truth. She didn’t have to say a word, but I knew. Shame radiated off her, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Like a tornado, the force of his insinuations twisted me up until I was numb.

I stood there helpless, experiencing the pain of another one of Hector’s victims who I couldn’t save. It tore me up she didn’t tell me, or didn’t feel she could tell me. I thought, after all we confessed, we could be honest with each other, but I was wrong, and hearing the truth out of Hector’s sneering mouth made it worse.

I grab a bottle of Jack off the bar and throw myself onto the couch. I rest the bottle on my thigh, but I don’t drink. Wouldn’t fuckin’ help anyway. I sit there for a long time, just staring at the ceiling until a knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. I contemplate ignoring it, but, in the end, I fling the door open, and Smoke silently enters.

“I took Maxine to my place so she can take a shower, change and spend the night. Marisol’s already fussing over her. Giving her something to eat and clean clothes.”

“I appreciate it.” I gnaw at the inside of my cheek. “Tell Marisol I said so.”

“What went down tonight—it’s a lot for Maxie. Her being a civilian and all. It’s not every day you end someone’s life.”

“It’s more than that.”

Smoke grabs the bottle out of my fist and pours a healthy amount in two glasses, then hands me one. “Give her some time to settle. Maybe by then you’ll have your head outta your ass.”

“What the fuck?”

“You knew the power Hector had over her. Did you think it didn’t include him fucking her?”

“Not the point.” I shake my head. “She should’ve told me.”

“We all should do a lot of shit we don’t do. It’s called being fuckin’ human.”

“He enjoyed taking her down, throwing her past in my face.” I shoot the Jack, then spin toward the bar, and splash more whiskey into my glass.

“And if she had told you, would it have made a difference? Would you have turned her away?”

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