Page 59 of Saving Blood

“There’s nothing I could do to myself that would be worse than what I saw tonight.”

“It was a tragedy. Such a sweet kid. I mean, I know Hector’s deranged, but why Javi? The kid never hurt anybody.”

I stare at the ceiling, remembering. “He started coming by the gym last year. Right after we took over. At first, he just used to hang around, but the longer I was in Tijuana, the more I saw the poverty, and how some of these people are forced to live.” I shake my head, but the images only become clearer.

“It’s so sad.”

“Some of these houses are no better than shacks. A lot of them don’t even have running water or electricity. It’s disgusting, especially when the politicians and fat cats like Hector have too much.”

“Why do you think Hector did it?”

“He’s got eyes all over. He wanted to warn me, show me what he was capable of doing.”

“But you’ve got other kids working around the gym. Why Javi?”

“‘Cause I had him tailing you.”

24

MAXINE

I sit up in bed.“Tailing me?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Blood spits out the words then turns his head away from me.

I swallow hard, not quite sure about his next words.

“I know you fought for Hector down in Rosarito, so him trying to recruit you now is a lie. You saying you didn’t know Hector owned the building you’re living in is a lie. The reason you’re fighting with our club is a lie.” Blood pushes himself to a sitting position. “After what happened tonight, I don’t have the energy for any more of your lies.”

“You’re right about all of it.” I pull at the bedsheet, not knowing where to start.

“You being here right now is probably part of some scheme, some long con, but, fuck me, I can’t turn you away.” Blood hangs his head. “For all I know, you knew what he was going to do to Javi.”

I grab his arm. “No, no.” I make him look at me. “Hector is evil, a demon. He’s taken from me and others for too long—way too long, but I would never agree to be a part of something so horrific and senseless.”

“Okay, but you admit you came to fight for us as a spy for him.”

“I fight for myself, no one else. Unfortunately, Hector found a way to use it to his advantage.”

Which is the absolute truth. I love getting in the cage. Clearing my mind and focusing on my body and what my body can do.

“Just stop.” Blood slams his hand against the headboard. “Stop dancing around the words and tell me how you got with Hector and why.”

Moment of truth. I could spew it all out and watch his face turn from anger to disgust or filter out the hard parts. The sections of time my mind wouldn’t let me forget.

“Do you want us to have anything past tonight, more than what we do in bed?” Blood asks.

I draw in a deep breath, afraid of my answer. Not sure what I want, yet knowing if I say yes he’d have to accept all the horrors of my life. An impossible request, sure to make him turn away from me forever.

“If you do want it, then I need to know everything, now.” Blood makes his ultimatum clear.

I cross my legs and straighten my spine, petrified and exhilarated by the liberation of finally unburdening myself, finally telling my story.

“My home life wasn’t typical, or very good, so I ran away at seventeen with another girl. As you can imagine, it wasn’t the best idea.”

* * *

For most of my story,Blood sat stone-still. A few times, he tried to interject, but I didn’t let him because, if I stopped at any point, I may not be able to continue.

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