Page 82 of Second to None

Alba nudged me for a tickle. I complied, drawing an odd sense of comfort from the way she started purring, paws kneading my chest. Cats didn’t care about tomorrow—it was all about the here and now. I could respect that.

When she moved on to perform her routine check for mice, I tried to draw some inspiration from that, to ground myself in the present rather than let my thoughts drift to how Cass would still be asleep in LA, eight hours behind. I had my own day to worry about—a swimming lesson for Emily while I’d use the time to hit the gym, then I’d drop her off with a friend and pick up groceries, and maybe we’d go see a movie later in the afternoon.

On with it.

We waved goodbye to my mum and dad before we left, then spent the car ride debating whether it would be cooler to ride a dragon or a unicorn. Emily was firmly on Team Dragon, while I maintained that unicorns were much more fabulous because they left a trail of sparkles and rainbows.

“Is that because you’re in the rainbow bugade?” Emily asked.

“The rainbow what?”

“Bugade,” she repeated, as if that answered my question. Rainbow bugade...? Oh.

“Rainbow brigade?” I asked, just to make sure, and she nodded, all that’s-what-I-said. I bit down on a smile. “Where did you hear that?”

“Just some video.” She shrugged, her attention mostly on a piece of paper she was trying to fold into some origami shape. If that was the correct term—my origami knowledge was limited to paper planes. Did those count? Anyway. Video?

I pulled to a stop at a red light and turned to properly look at her. “What kind of video?”

“I didn’twatchit,” she claimed, except for how she wouldn’t quite meet my eyes, a small crease between her brows hinting she might be stretching the truth just a little.

“Really?” I asked. “Because it’s okay if you did. But I’d like to know, okay?”

“It’s just something that—Lissie and me, we were watching this cat video. On her mum’s screen. And then this other video came up?” Emily sent me a cautious glance, and yes, true, I was no fan of screentime, but I knew all too well that ideals and reality didn’t always align. No judging other parents.

“This other video?”

“Something about you and Cass? And, like...” Emily hesitated, fingers tapping paper. “It was old stuff, I think, and, like, a lot of—I don’t know. Smiling and looking? And some stuff you said? It wasboring. But the video said you were always in the rainbow bugrade, you and Cass, and how it’s totally not new. And then Lissie’s mum took the screen away.”

Hmm. Interesting what the algorithm offered up. But hey, maybe Lissie’s mum was a secret fan of Cass’s. Again, no judging, even if it was just a hint weird to think that parents of Emily’s friends might actively gobble up the rumours. On the other hand, maybe it wasn’t so different from when I’d started picking Emily up, Jessica undergoing her first unsuccessful round of treatments, and there’d been glances and whispers that I’d chosen to ignore. To gossip was human.

“Okay,” I said slowly. The light turned green, and we started moving again. “And was that... Do you have any questions for me, sweetheart? It’s fine if you do.”

She turned her paper construct over, frowning a little. “Why did they think smiling and looking is important? Is it because Cass is famous?”

“Kind of. That’s why people care what he does.” I paused. “Care who he loves.”

“Like you?” It was an innocent question, childlike curiosity, yet it tripped me up because... yeah. Yes. He did. Hedid.

But would it be enough?

“He does,” I told her. “And I love him, too. But his life is really different from ours.” I’d explained it to Emily in broad terms already before I’d gone to see him—that he was very sorry for breaking his promise and maybe there was a chance he and I could make up. “And that’s not easy, because if he’s my, uh... My rainbow brigade friend...”Really, brain? I pushed on regardless. “Well, I’d want to see him a lot. And that means he might have to make some changes, you know? Travel a little less, for example.”

“Can’t we travel with him?” she asked, all practical. “I like going places. I could do more surfing!”

“Not while school’s on, love. And we can’t leave Alba alone all the time.”

“Oh. Yes, that wouldn’t be fair.” Emily pursed her mouth, bottom lip sticking out a little. “So, but then Cass just has to stay with us a lot. So you can see him.”

“You wouldn’t mind that?” In a way, I’d already asked her—whether she liked Cass enough that it would be okay if he was around a bit more.

“He loves cats,” she said as if it was an answer.

“So that’s a yes, then?”

“If he doesn’t make you sad again.”

I thought about trying to explain that sometimes, life was complicated and people made you sad even when you loved them, especially when you loved them, through no fault of their own. But maybe this, right now, deserved a simple answer.

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