Page 24 of Second to None

“Dear sweet Jesus.” Levi tipped his face up to the ceiling, gentle daylight flowing along his cheekbones, a tiny smile tucked into the corner of his mouth. “Whatever I did in a past life, whatever crimes I committed, I am so, so sorry.”

“That’s karma,” Mason said. “Jesus has nothing to do with it.”

It felt like old times, back on the road—our conversations ambling along like drunkards stumbling home after a wild night out, clinging to this lantern and that, exclaiming at the beauty of the night sky and pondering the deeper meaning of chicken wings. My ribs ached at the thought of another thing I’d lost. And forwhat?

I needed to get out of here before I went full soap opera.

Abandoning the rest of my coffee, I got up from Mason’s kitchen table. “All right, I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll see you tomorrow, right? Rehearsal at ten.”

They knew this. Somehow, I still wanted the confirmation that they’d be there, that some version of… ofusremained.

“Sure thing,” Mason said, while Levi stood up as well, his eyes on me.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

Words were my estranged friends, so I simply nodded. I got it together just enough to wave at Mason and Emily, wishing them a fun day, then led the way toward the front door. The white modernism of Mason’s entryway was eased by a wooden staircase. Personal touches were scattered around—a couple of guitars on display, a shoe rack overflowing with authentically scuffed sneakers. Levi was quiet until I straightened after putting my shoes on.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. His gaze slid away, to some hanging greenery that someone other than Mason must be watering. “I should have called you.”

“Levi, no.” I took a step toward him, hesitating for a fraction before I touched his shoulder. “Not for my sake. Only if you think… If I could have helped in any way… You know I’d have been there in a heartbeat. Right?”

He covered my hand with his own. “I know now.”

“You really thought…?” I couldn’t finish because—God.

“I don’t know what I thought.” A thousand unsaid things pressed at the edges of his expression, his mouth a careful line. “Grief, pride, still in denial over Jess… It was a lot.”

I turned my hand over to tangle our fingers, painfully aware of the space between us—too much, too little. “I’m sorry, Lee. I am so sorry. Even with how things—you’re my friend. Always. And I would have been on the next flight. I’d have bought the fucking airplane, if necessary.”

His lips twitched upward, the darkness in his eyes fading away. “Bit dramatic, don’t you think? Not to mention, what would you even do with a plane?”

“Fair question.” I inhaled, my chest a little wider now. “Maybe I’d start a discount airline for ex-boybanders only. No emotional baggage fees.”

He cracked a genuine smile. “As if. Knowing you, you’d feel guilty about the carbon footprint and leave it in a hangar.”

‘Knowing you.’

My throat tightened, words piling up that I couldn’t tell him. Not anymore. So I flicked them away and released my hold on him, smiling back. “Never claimed to be the smart one, did I?”

He grinned. “Don’t think any of us could lay claim to that.”

“Come on,” I said. “We had our moments. What about that time in Japan when Ellis figured out exactly how long we could sleep and still make the next show? To theminute.”

The corners of Levi’s eyes crinkled. “We missed our flight.”

“A minor detail.”

He watched me for a moment, grin melting into something softer, sweeter. His faded T-shirt clung to his shoulders, worn thin and comfortable. Somehow, he’d always had this way of filling a space, not by size but by presence. “I really missed you,” he said abruptly, his voice gone flat as though he wasn’t wholly at ease with putting the words out there. I felt them echo somewhere deep in my ribs.

“Me too.” So fuckingmuch. And it had taken me years to admit it—too long, too late. “Levi, I…” I broke off, not quite certain what I’d wanted to tell him. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Kiss a Disney prince for me, okay?”

He exhaled, eyes warm. “Nah. When you’re ready, you can do it yourself.”

“I’ll do that,” I said, only I wanted no prince. Just him.

I stepped back because I had to, and dropped my heart by his feet when I left. That was fine. I’d never truly reclaimed it anyway.

CHAPTER7

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