Page 78 of Second to None

“We’ve learned to lock away all our footwear.” A soft grin tilted Ellis’s mouth, and I took a deep breath, reminded that yes, right—life marched on, messy and normal.

Another moment of silence spun out between us, a distant gardener’s leaf blower rumbling through the morning air.

Eventually, Ellis took off his sunglasses and turned toward me, voice gentle. “So, want to tell me what happened?”

I tipped my head back, staring up at the cloudless sky. It was of a paler blue than the one arching above Sardinia, air pollution leaving a yellowish tint near the horizon. My stomach twisted faintly, might be hunger since I’d felt too raw to keep anything down earlier. “What do you already know?” I asked.

“I know you went to Sardinia with Lee. Guess the whole world kinda knows that.” He paused, then proceeded with the care of someone feeling his way along a dark hallway. “I suspect you hooked up?”

“Yeah.” I needed a moment to gather myself, masking it with another sip of coffee.Hooked up. It just… God. It didn’t even begin to describe what it meant. But that was on me, wasn’t it? “Except, you know. I’ve loved him since I was sixteen. Never really stopped.”

Ellis gave a small, quiet nod, the glance he slid me devoid of surprise. “And you told him that?”

I exhaled on a shaky chuckle. “Yeah. Right as he was yelling at me for—you know how that surveillance footage got leaked? So he was yelling about how I didn’t keep my promise about Emily. I mean, maybe not yelling. But he was… pissed. So.”

“Ah.” Ellis’s lips pursed. “Excellent timing, huh?”

“Yeah, well. Let’s just say he didn’t exactly swoon.” Fuck. The next part washard. I sucked a breath through my teeth. “He told me to fuck off.”

“Well,shit,” Ellis said, heartfelt, and Jesus, it was only now that I realized how I’d made Levi the villain. When the tables had been reversed, he’d protected me—and here I was, running straight to Ellis. Still putting myself first, like I’d learned fuck-all in our five years apart. Go me.

“That’s not—I don’t think he meant…” Well, he had. I shook my head. “He was scared, I think. About Emily, and what it meant. Not—he wasn’t trying to hurt me. As such.”

“Cass,hey.” Ellis leaned forward to wrap an arm around my shoulders, voice gone soft. “I know you’re not trying to, like, make him look like the bad guy. But it’s okay to feel sad and hurt, you know?”

My throat was burning. I set the coffee down with shaking hands and slumped into Ellis to gulp down some air. Felt as if I was coming up from a near-drowning, like that time I’d been six, trying to mimic the older surfers, and a big wave had swept me under—kicking up only I couldn’t tell which way wasupanymore, everything rushing water and salt in my eyes.Breathe. I’m alive.

“He, uh.” I clung to Ellis, my solid ground while the rest of the world pitched. “He said I was just a nice time between the sheets. A good lay. But that’s all.”

“I sincerely doubt he meant that,” Ellis said softly.

Oh. I pulled back a little so I could look at him. “Yeah?”

“Cass.” His tone was warm, sure. “You and Levi, that’s always been… I don’t know. From the moment you guys met, it was like magnets. So, no. I don’t think there’s ever been anything casual about this, for either of you. Maybe he hated you for a while, sure. But a casual fuck? No. Not with you two.”

I breathed out, and in. “I said he’s lying. Didn’t help.”

“I can imagine.” A wry smile edged the corners of Ellis’s mouth and faded again. “You know that for him, it’s been… a tough few years.”

Yeah, I knew—now. But I hadn’t been there for it.

“On the surface,” Ellis continued, “you’ve had it easy. Anyone who doesn’t know you, Cass? They’ll think you’re on top of the world.”

I rubbed a hand over my face. “You know better than that.”

“Yeah, I do. And so does Levi—but knowing something and truly believing it are two different things.”

That… kind of made sense. I’d picked fame over him once, and this time, I’d asked for his help to smooth my coming out. Hardly the best way to show that I was ready to choose him.

“You think I should…” I broke off, shook my head. “Dowhat?”

“I don’t know if there’s something you should do right now.” Ellis settled back, studying me for a beat before he smiled. “But he’ll come around—it’s you and Levi. But when he does, he may need something. Some sort of reassurance that this time, you’re all in. Because it’s not just him anymore.”

Emily.

Real life, not just two teenage boys sneaking around backstage. Levi had akid. A kid who deserved stability, deserved someone who helped with her homework, who patched up a bruised knee or heart. And Levi himself—he deserved someone who embraced that, who wasn’t halfway around the world for birthdays and school plays.

I exhaled, slow and controlled. “Yeah, okay. I get it.”

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