Page 72 of Favored By the Stars

"Keep pushing!" I urged her.

Wyn drew on everything she had learned, channeling her fears into strength instead of letting them weigh her down. The light surrounding her brightened until it consumed the shadow entirely in an explosion of brilliance that left nothing but silence in its wake.

I cheered for her as she staggered back from the blast but didn't have time to catch my breath; Volker faced his shadow now, a creature formed from every moment of doubt he had ever harbored about himself.

"I'm not afraid," Volker declared with determination.

The dark Volker scoffed, charging forward with a brutality etched on his face that I could never have imagined the quiet mage making until I saw it for myself. Our Volker stood firm, though, meeting his foe head-on with all the confidence I knew he possessed deep down inside him.

He thrust his dagger through its heart, darkness erupted around him as the shadow shattered into fragments like glass hitting stone.

"Senara! Behind you!" Van shouted beside me.

I'd become so focused on the others after helping Wyn that I'd totally forgotten about my shadow, and the sneaky bitch had been waiting for that exact moment to attack. When I spun to face, the remaining shadows swirled threateningly around us, obscuring her slightly.

Thankfully, I didn't miss my dark self lunging at me, eyes glinting with malice. The chill of its presence wrapped around me like a suffocating shroud.

"Look at you," it hissed, its voice a twisted mockery of my own. "You're just a shadow of what you could be, a mere flicker of light in a world drowning in darkness."

"Shut up!" I shouted, summoning the magic from deep within me. I focused on the Crescent Diadem, feeling its energy pulse against my brow. It resonated with both moon and sun, ready to protect me.

The shadow laughed, a sound that echoed through the chamber. "You think that little crown makes you powerful? You're nothing but a frightened child playing dress-up! I bet you put that on your head before you even bothered finding out anything about it. Are you even aware that you've cursed yourself? I bet your so-called friends are only here out of pity, since they probably understood how doomed you were as soon as that thing touched your head."

Before I could respond, it lunged again, swiping with claw-like hands that tore through the air just inches from my face. I ducked and rolled to the side as dark tendrils surged toward me from the surrounding shadows, trying to ensnare my legs.

"Senara!" Thorn's voice broke through my focus as he charged at the shadows encroaching around us. "We need to push back together!"

"Don't let them distract you!" Wyn cried out, weaving her magic to shield us while battling her own shadow self nearby.

I could feel Thorn's determination through our bond, and it fueled my resolve; his strength lent clarity to my swirling doubts. Despite that, the dark version of myself danced on the edge of my consciousness, taunting me relentlessly.

"You'll never be enough!" It barked the words at me. "You think they'll stand by you when they see who you really are? You're just a burden. Do you think they know how much of a murderer you are? It wasn't just in war and battle, was it, Senara?" It circled me slowly, its form shifting as if it thrived on my fears, pulling and digging at old wounds I thought I'd healed.

"No!" I shouted defiantly. "I'm more than what I was! I'm worthy!" Even to my own ears, the last sentence sounded like a desperate plea, but with each word I spoke, a flicker of light pushed against the darkness that was threatening to consume me. My heart raced as I felt Wyn channel her energy toward me, her faith in me lifting me even higher. If anyone knew who I was, it was her. She'd seen me through the worst of it, or at least the worst that wasn't on a battlefield.

The dark version smirked. "You can't escape this truth! You were born to be an instrument of destruction, not hope. It starts with small things, thieving, maybe killing animals, and then it escalates. A boy looks at you wrong. Maybe he touches too close to your mark, so he has to go. And what of the Chantry?"

"Shut up!" I screamed, not even realizing that I'd started crying until I couldn't make out her form.

I blinked furiously, clearing my vision just in time to see it lunge again. Shadows surged forward to block Thorn and Wyn from reaching me. Desperation gripped my chest; fear coiled tightly around my heart. I couldn't defeat her on my own. I wasn't enough. Not unless I gave it everything I had and then where would that leave me? Alone.

I'd seen the look on Thorn and Kaelyn's faces after that first time my magic went out of control and they were horrified, as they should have been. After all, I'd disintegrated everything around us, anything I'd deemed an enemy. No one should have that kind of power. And if this was only a shadow of what I would become if I allowed the Empress to use me as a vessel, then what chance did I have against the powered up version of me?

"No!" I roared as I shook my head, recognizing the thoughts as belonging to someone else. I pushed back against the darkness closing in around me, reaching for something deep within, the essence that had always been mine yet had been buried beneath layers of doubt. If they were horrified with me, then so be it, but I damn sure wouldn't let everyone die just because I'd held back out of fear.

With every ounce of strength I had left, I would not let this shadow define who I was meant to be.

The surrounding darkness thickened, swirling with a malevolent energy that wrapped tightly around my chest. My shadow lunged forward again, and I could feel the rage emanating from it like a living thing.

"You'll never have what you want," it hissed, its voice dripping with venomous glee. "Dream on, Senara! You're destined to be alone, forever! No one will ever love you enough to stay. And if they don't leave of their own free will, then you'll drive them away, won't you? Be it by word or blade."

A sharp pain shot through me at its words. It cut deeper than any blade, carving into the very core of my being. The weight of that truth threatened to drag me down into despair. She hadn't even said it aloud, but I knew what she was talking about. There was a reason I'd never let myself dream of a family; it felt too far out of reach, a cruel mirage that only mocked my deepest, most secret desires.

But as I stood there trembling in the face of my darkness, something inside me ignited, a flicker of defiance sparked to life. No more! I refused to let this twisted reflection dictate my worth or future.

"Shut up!" I screamed, channeling all my anger and sorrow into one decisive strike. Drawing on the magic coursing through me, the harmony of moon and sun, I summoned an energy unlike anything I had felt before.

The air crackled with power as I thrust my hand forward, and radiant light erupted from my palm, enveloping the shadow in an incandescent glow. It shrieked in fury and disbelief as the light consumed it, its form dissolving under the intensity of my resolve.

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