Page 197 of Enthrall Ecstasy
“He came out of nowhere. He pointed his weapon at Henry.”
It had been a split-second decision.
“You saved Henry’s life,” said Cole softly.
“I know, but…”
I’d killed someone so young.
“How are we just meant to go on?” My words flowed in a torrent. “How are we meant to see all that? Do those things and have any sense of peace ever again?”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
“You take a life. You save a life? What does it all mean? I trained for it. I know that. But nothing prepares you for…”
“The men who set that boy on that path,” he said calmly. “Do you think they hold responsibility?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Of course, they do.”
“They were murdering indiscriminately. We did the best we could to bring some semblance of peace.”
“How many lives did you save?”
“Too many to count.”
“You’re a hero, Shay. You have to see yourself as we do.”
“Will I ever learn to live with this truth?”
“This is a good start, Lieutenant.” Cameron leaned forward. “You left something of yourself back in Afghanistan. Let’s keep going with more sessions. Let’s get that man home.”
I gave a slow, steady nod. He was right. I’d come this far, faced this much—and I was deserving of the help being offered.
My shoulders dropped and I mulled over what all this meant.
I had so much work to do if I wanted to recover from this trauma.
Doing this alone was impossible.
Maybe this was what De Sade had tried to tell me. I would need help to deal with these demons.
“Thank God for friends,” I said.
“You risked your life for yours, Shay.” Cameron pushed to his feet and offered me his hand. “Now it’s our turn to put you first.”
I stood before him. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Never.”
“Henry will be pleased. He knew I couldn’t face this alone.”
“And you never will have to,” said Cole.
Something dark inside me had lifted.
A part of me had cracked, and for the first time I felt light flooding in.
