Page 168 of Pervade London
“Yes.” I reached over and placed my hand on his. “More than anything.”
“I’m glad.” His smile faded and he pulled his hand away. “You were given an envelope by one of your instructors. What was in it?”
I raised my hand defensively. “I was going to tell you.Actually, it was the only good thing that happened today.” I took a sip of wine.
“Tell me more,” he said.
“I’m not sure about…” I shook my head, trying to find the right words. “There’s a student in my class and she plays beautifully.”
“Same instrument?”
“Yes.” I glanced at my violin case. “Her name’s Salme. She has no self-doubt at all. She’s confident and is never scared of performing and she has no flaws.”
“That’s a flaw, Emily.”
I let out a sigh. “I just wish I had her balls.”
“You question yourself? Your talent? Your ability to play at the top of your league?”
“Constantly.”
“Keep on doubting and questioning yourself. That way you’ll always be evolving and striving to be your best.” Seeing my skeptical expression, he added, “You’re in great company. Extraordinary artists who doubted themselves in the past were Raphael, Rembrandt, and even Leonardo da Vinci.” He drew in a dramatic breath. “Even Pulitzer Prize-winning author John Steinbeck was plagued with self-doubt.”
“But—”
“No buts. Don’t change. Be you. For goodness sake, Em, when God made you, he dropped the mic.”
I let out a laugh and clapped my hand over my mouth.
Oh,the way he spoke, so poetic and masterful and seductive. It was all I could do to sit here sipping chardonnay and not throw myself at him.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Much.”
It made him smile. “Salme’s going to trip on her sense of greatness. She’s stunted and will never evolve because in her mind she’s perfect. And perfection is an illusion.”
Wait.
Was that why Penn-Rhodes had asked her to play without chasing perfection today, because he’d detected this? I had to wonder what he heard with a maestro’s ear when she played.
“The envelope, please.” James held out his hand.
I reached into my handbag and rifled around. “You won’t like it.”
“You have no idea how many times I hear that each day.”
I pulled out the envelope and handed it to him. “Say I can go.”
His brow furrowed.
“It’s important. It pertains to my career.”
James opened the envelope and used his napkin to pull out the card. “From Penn-Rhodes?”
“You know him?”
He read the invitation and then used his right hand to pick up his phone, lifting it to his ear. “Akmal, I need to see you.”
