Page 116 of Pervade London
Those who have been burned up, obliterated and renewed, are the fearless ones who blindly fly toward the stars because they have nothing left to lose.
I wasn’t going back to that place of loneliness where I would have to be without Xavier. I was going to find a way to keep us together.
Ballad had asked me what I wanted that only he could deliver. I wanted to play my violin for the masses—that was my dream—but I wanted to make it on my own terms.
More than this…I wanted to marry Xavier.
I was willing to do anything to see this become a reality.
Barefoot on the cold stone floor, I retraced my steps back to the dining room, the location of where those secrets had become known.
James had finally shared it all with me—or as much as possible, though his motivation was still unclear. Perhaps he wanted me to have a greater understanding of his actions. Perhaps he needed to be remembered as a man who was good, who had dedicated his life to a greater purpose.
The demonstration of Xavier’s astounding memory had nearly overwhelmed me. My own memories were now tinged with another perspective, one that included knowing he had lived through our mutual experiences differently. He’d held onto our shared moments with a clarity that I could only barely comprehend.
All evidence of our dinner here last night was gone. The room had returned to its pristine state. James had returned this space to order. And that, I realized, was what he needed—to control his universe and everyone in it.
My imagination ran wild with what they had done when I had gone to bed. They’d possibly shared a late-night drink and talked some more, or shared a kiss, perhaps they’d made love.
I felt a twinge of jealousy, but pushed that thought away and continued on to the kitchen.
I grabbed a glass from a cupboard and held it beneath the refrigerator door’s dispenser. Gulping the water and finally quenching my thirst, I took time to admire the modern appliances that tastefully blended with the ancient décor.
Memories of what we had done together in this vast place was etched in my mind, and I clung to them for the comfort they brought. Each kiss from them meant we were becoming more. Surely this was a beginning and not an end?
Wiping my hand across my mouth, I had the vague thought that James woulddisapprove of my uncouth gesture.
Although he’d promised to show me around, it was too enticing a place to wait to explore. After placing my glass in the sink, I left the kitchen, enthused by a rush of intrigue that made me long to see more.
The dark wood hallways were lined with grand oil paintings of serious-looking figures, all of them having been immortalized by talented painters over a century ago. Antique pieces of weaponry hung along other corridors, enhancing the medieval atmosphere and proving that Ballad had gotten his lust for blood from his ancestors.
It made me wonder how he felt about never being able to inherit the crown.
He’d taken the power anyway.
I entered another hallway and noticed that the door at the end was standing ajar. I stepped into a vast office that doubled as an impressive library. Thousands of books were stacked in dark wooden floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. A sofa rested in the center of the room, facing four leather chairs, all of them positioned upon a red and gold weaved rug. The scent of pine needles emanated from a giant stone hearth, atop which was carved a shield with two lions on either side and a crown above them. I assumed it was Ballad’s family crest.
Nearing one of the bookshelves, I fingered the ancient spines as I scanned the many classics. Easing one of them out, I opened it and saw it was a first edition dating back a hundred years. James’ rare collection would make historians dizzy with envy.
Time dissolved as I breathed in the antique book smell that was a heady combination of earth and burned vanilla, wood and smoke.
Continuing on around the room, I admired the other antique objects, like the rusty keys that were displayed in a glass case. A feather pen was showcased, it’s end stained where it had been dipped in ink. Beside it, leather-bound folders were stacked high on a tall table inlaid with leather, and a strange white rope behind a glass frame hinted that the item was of a nautical origin. Reaching a desk, I noticed a thick book, its pages filled with military submarines from around the world.
My fingers trailed along the edge toward the left drawer…
Something moved in my peripheral vision and I let out a yelp.
James was standing across the room.
Dressed in jeans and a white shirt, he looked surprisingly awake. Only his tousled hair gave away the fact that he’d just woken. He was holding two mugs, wisps of steam spiraling up from each.
“Can’t sleep,” I said by way of apology.
“Me neither. Xavier, on the other hand.”
“He does love his sleep.”
“When he’s asleep his mind is quiet.”
