Page 41 of Pervade London
My stomach ached with uncertainty.
Xander hadn’t given me any real answers as to what was going on with him or who those men were, and his continued secrecy had left me bewildered.
My pacing had brought me once again to the far side of the room. “I can’t live this way.”
“I’ll upgrade us to a suite.”
“I mean on the run, Xander.”
My Strad was in the corner, tucked away in its case. I didn’t care about my clothes, or shoes, or anything else, as long as I had my violin. But my old one, which I had a sentimental attachment to, was back home and the thought of someone damaging it made me sick.
Maybe I was looking at the situation all wrong. Maybe I should return to a place of gratitude. Put it all into perspective. Take responsibility for dating a man with a secret past. I’d known going into the relationship that there was so much about this man I might never understand, but I’d pushed that knowledge aside because I’d wanted him in my life.
He was more important than anything.
I walked over to him and put my arms around his neck, trying to remind him how much I loved him, and that I would be here for him no matter what. He was suffering just as much.
Xander pushed himself up and eased my hands off. “I’m going down to order room service.”
“You can’t call down?”
He shook his head.
Xander had gone cold on me again and it made me nervous. It felt like he was pulling away.
Frustration heated my face. “Are you suggesting the people you’re running from will know you’ve ordered food if you use our room phone? How, exactly?”
He patted his jeans as he looked around for his wallet. He wasn’t even going to charge the order to the room. And he was refusing to answer my questions.
One decision had brought me to this—made on the day I’d watched Xander step off the carriage in the Underground onto that deserted platform. I’d had a split-second to decide whether to join him, whether to take a leap into uncertainty. That tunnel had been more than a metaphor, it had been a prediction.
He headed out. “I won’t be long.”
“You have to let me go to my audition.”
He stopped at the door but didn’t turn around. “We’ll talk about it when I get back.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Xander looked over his shoulder at me. “James knows about it.”
“What can he do?” I raised my hands in frustration. “I’ll attend my audition and leave.”
A flash of pain crossed his face…as though in that moment he’d made a difficult decision.
The door slammed shut.
I stared at the spot where he’d been standing, knowing that his pained expression was caused by the guilt he felt for doing this tous. His eyes had shone with the tears he held back.
I wanted him to know I forgave him…and I should have told him this. Whatever happened we’d be okay.
Ten minutes later, a knock at the door had me sighing with relief, thinking we’d be able to talk some more. I rushed forward and flung it open.
James Ballad’s foot shot forward to stop me from closing the door.
“Go away!”
“Don’t make a scene, Em.” With a shove he pushed the door open and me back with it. The bathroom had a lock, but I refused to hide and leave my violin or our other possessions vulnerable.
